--God's Word Will Guide Us ~~

--"Your Word is a lamp to my feet and light to my path."--[Psalm 119:105 / ESV]

--"Here you go!" my twenty-two-year-old son, John, said cheerfully, handing me a stack of hundred-dollar bills. since he began working he has also begun paying me rent. He prefers to pay in cash, I think because it is concrete evidence he is contributing to the family . We both enjoy the monthly ritual.

This has been a long, long time coming. There were the yrs i which John's anxiety triggered rages, then the years when he was depressed and didn't leave the house except to walk the dog or go to therapy. There were long stretches of time when there seemed to be no path forward. Through those I learned that my inability to see how life could improve meant only one thing; that I couldn''t see the way through..

Oddly, in retrospect i can't see the path we took, either. I think that's because John's progress was so incremental, each step forward so infinitely small as to be almost unnoticeable. I may also have something to do with the fact that the "lamp to my feet" that lit my path was so much like the handheld oil lamps of Biblical times casting only enough light to illuminate my next stumbling step.

Yet now my son is gainfully employed,, a taxpaying citizen. He does not earn a lot, but he works hard and his boss likes him. Someday, I think he will probably be able to afford his own apartment. I'm not worried about when that happens. There are those who might argue John "should" be doing X or Y or Z. For me, those "shoulds dont'd matter. I've learned we can't move forward from where we wish we were We can only move forward from where we are now.

--"Lord, let Your word illuminate my next step And then one after that . And one after that. In the wonderful name above all other names, JESUS. ~~
----Guideposts/ JA