Hi Russ, thanks for typing that post. That's the kind of thing we need to hear, because this illness does make you feel pointless and life seems futile most of the time. It's only when I get a day where the mercury in me is more settled, that I am able to be even remotely more myself and suddenly being "positive" comes completely natural and i realise how messed up this toxin can make a person's mind. It's frightening and very sad and I hope anybody with this realises that it's NOT them. No matter what you feel, negative, fearful or what, truly it is the mercury and you will not realise it until you get a patch where it has subsided for a little while. It's incredible and now I realise how much a person under this toxin is manipulated. I actually believe quite frankly, that the people who suffer this are probably among the most positive strongest people around to be able to bear a cross as heavy as this, even if they come across to others as nervous and negative or even strange. Underneath they're pretty remarkable I think.