--Aging Gracefully~

---This has been around but still a Goodie..!!


--AGING GRACEFULLY ~~

-1). I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now!

-2.) I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

-3.) I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

-4.) Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet...

-5.) I don't need anger management. I need people to stop irritating me! --

-6.) When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment... Now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation....

-7.) My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance of idiots that needs working on.

-8.) If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.

-9.) The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes."

-10.) I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do the second week.

-11.) Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

-12.) Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice. ~~