Thanks, Scarlet. It's always good to talk to people who know what it's like, or have an idea. The loneliness is hard. I feel like I've been lonely all my life, at least since these problems began. I was alone a lot at school, never really fitted in, and was too ill to have any fun. Thanks for the sympathy. Most people think that if you're lonely it's easy to just go out there and fix it by finding people but a: that's easier said than done when you have social phobia b: it's not that easy to find likeminded people or trustworthy people who accept us, even if we don't have illness etc.

I cope with the loneliness because I rather be alone than in situations that are stressful, and I find that happens too often with those who don't understand what it's like having phobias. If I'm doing something alone, I'm not bothering anyone. I feel better and I get comfort in not being a pain to anyone. I sometimes think it would be nice to have a hand to hold when I feel the panic rise, but I've never known anyone in my life who offers that kind of reassurance when I get an attack. They just get annoyed with me. I do think people with mental illness get the worst treatment by society. If someone has a bad leg, then someone else might open a door for them, but with mental illness, people either think you should be able to control it, in other words it's your fault, or they get scared by it.

I hope I don't sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself. I know what my limitations are and I try to deal with, but I also know that no one can help me but myself. I do think that we have to keep fighting and reaching out and trying not to give in - although, like with everything, not pushing too hard - and always keep positive. I hope that getting my fillings out will improve my condition. I don't ever expect to be 100% well because of the age I was exposed to this toxin (about 9) and the amount of time (20 years). But improvement would be great <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I try to look at life with the attitude of taking bad experiences and turning them into positive ones - like I get the impression you do <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I'm glad you found someone to support you, I think that will help you a lot.

I have a kind of phone phobia aswell. I hate talking to people on the phone and never answer strange calls (we have a phone who says who is calling).

I had a scan to see if I had polycystic ovaries, but they didn't show up any. But they said I could still have the syndrome as I have the symptoms. I really don't think they knew what was wrong with me, and this just was a good label to keep me quiet (been going to see them for 10 years saying something was wrong with me).

I too am trying to do what I can to make people aware of this issue. All this needless suffering so many people go through, all the robbed childhoods and ruined lives - it's devastating.