Shopping around for a suitable religion is, to me, bizarre. A religion is simply the natural, spontaneous, built-in, intrinsic expression of one's biology/race/geography. It is not some kind of accident that, at one point in history, ALL Muslims were middle Eastern Arabs, All Jews were Semites, All Buddhists were of the East, All Shintoists were Japanese, and so on and so forth.

It was only through force that our ancestors adopted religions that did not organically grow from their own place on the Earth, and of course their children (you and me) "inherited" these foreign religions that grate against what we know and feel in our bones.

This is why it is so difficult for us to get along well in all these foreign religions if we have any instinct, or sense of self and self preservation at all. Christ did not show up in China or South America or India or what is now called Europe. God sent him to the Jews, because they needed his particular kind of healing and teaching.

You are struggling because your biology and your religion are at odds. Your subconscious mind knows it.