My name is Pat. I am a 37yr old guy living in a beach town in California.
My story is long so I won't bore you, but in a nutshell I have felt a crappy "brain fog" since I was about 19yrs old. I had many metal fillings put in my teeth as a young adolescent. I searched hard to find out what was wrong with me and there were no answers, but the doctors pinned the word "depression" on me. I couldn't really disagree, because I WAS depressed, and the reason I was depressed is because I was in a dizzy fog all the time. So they put me on many different SSRI anti-depressants over the years and thus began my life with "mental" problems. Over the next decade and a half I rode the roller coaster of life, constantly battling this brain fog and dizziness and I began to buy into the depression label and treatment because I figured that if the docs couldn't find anything wrong with me, I must have mental issues causing all of it. Anyway, it got worse and worse and led me down a road where the meds they had me on were messing me up worse than the initial issues ever did. I was on so much medication that I didn't know what was what and ended up in hospitals for extended periods. Finally I just stopped taking everything except a small dosage of the drug Cymbalta which I am currently on now. I feel a lot better than I did during the worst of it all, but I still have severe brain fog and dizziness among other symptoms.
In my mid 20's I did start to hear about mercury in fillings and it has always been in the back of my mind that I could be effected by mine. And after all these years I am just now realizing that I have to get this crap out of my mouth. It may not even change how I feel, but I need to do it anyway because I have sensitivity and pain in all of them at this point. One of them even fell out last year. Over the past year I have made radical changes in my life. I have lost 56lbs (as of tonight at the gym), I workout all the time, I eat a very healthy and fresh diet, and 5 months ago I quit smoking (which I picked up after the loss of my father). I had been smoking heavily for about 5 years.
I also was able to get Social Security Disability because of my depression diagnosis and battles.
As far as how I feel mentally lately.. well, I feel positive and motivated. I don't feel depressed and I never felt I was. I do however get discouraged because I deal with very severe problems that are not tangible. That has been the most frustrating part for me. Just never having answers and never having something solid to tell your friends and family that they can fathom and empathize with. It's okay though. It has helped to weed out the people that do truly care for me anyway, regardless of answers.
All of this has also forced me to look inward a lot more than most people have to as well. What I have learned is that I am a highly determined individual with a huge heart and the will to survive. I will never stop fighting and if I do find a way to get healthy again, I will use my time to help others. I am also highly creative and inventive. I am an artist/photographer/musician and an athlete. I hope one day to be able to do all of those things with a clear head.
So.. that is the short version of who I am I guess. Oh, and I am very, very friendly and respectful of others. I look forward to getting any advice and input on what you all have gone through or are doing now to get better.
My focus here is to find out where I need to start to get the metal out of my mouth, and the proper ways to do it. I want to talk about improvement and not dwell on the past and my pains. I'm not here for sympathy, however I may vent a few frustrations along my journey.
Oh, and I have noticed that there seems to be a lot of religious talk on these boards. I just want to say that I have absolutely nothing against what you believe in, however, I definitely don't want any preachings in my posts/discussions. My personal beliefs are that I do believe there is a force in the universe that is good and it may or may not be God. I also believe in most of the principals that Jesus represents. To put it simply, I just believe in being a good human being, and there is no reason to complicate it.
Thank you if you even read all of that.. and i look forward to hearing from you all if you decide to respond.
I am sending positivity out to you all, even though I feel pretty crappy at the moment.