I can tell you the "don't care if I died" thing I have too. Not a real wish to be dead or harm yourself. Just a lack of care either way. Sometimes fears, anxieties. Ideas pop into your head to the effect of "what would happen if I died", "what if I fell down the stairs righ now and died". Just weird stuff like that and you know it isn't really you thinking that.
If you need help finding a doc or dentist post for help here. We all have links to help find them.