HUMOR ~~

JOBS~

Buffalo Bills Offensive lineman Glenn Parker speculated as to why NFL linemen are generally cheerful: "There are not a lot of well-paying jobs for 300-pounders. We found one, and we're happy about it." ~

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The human resources director was taken aback because of the applicant's salary request. "You certainly expect to be compensated well for a beginner."

The applicant replied, "Well sure. Work's a lot harder when you don't know what you're doing."
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A job applicant was asked, "Why were you discharged from your last position?"
The reply, "I was overly ambitious. I wanted to take work home with me."

The next question, "Who was your employer?"
"First National Bank."
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A young bride complained to her friend,"My husband and I are getting along together fairly well, but he simply can't bear children."

"Oh well," a friend consoled her. "You can't expect men to do everything."
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I was issuing a marriage license one day when the bride-to-be exploded.

"You rat!! You told me this was your first marriage!"

"It is!"

"Oh yeah? Where it says, 'number of marriages,' you wrote 'TWO!"

"Oh...I thought that meant how many people were getting married."
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The caption of an A.A. McCourt cartoon, in the 'National Review', had the wife speaking to the husband, "There you go again, quoting our marriage vows out of context!!

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To begin a discussion on values, our youth pastor asked the teens this question: "What would you do if your doctor told you you had only twenty-four hours to live

The teens' responses were typically, "Be with friends and family." But the discussion came undone when Jason, our thirteen-year-old, said, "I'd get a second opinion."
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