not waking up to take it.. sounds better, that would be impossible for me.

thanks for the warning. i knew the risks from withdrawal from similar tablets many years ago.. and had no choice.

this feeling:

"feel like you need to die or go to the ER"

was 24 hours a day and still is so regardless of being in the middle of chelation or not so i have to manage that as well as somehow get it out.

i stop chelation when i cannot eat or drink.

a bottle of wine, 4 codeine, 2-3 valium, a day <<<< all together or when i needed it (i honestly needed morpheine but I could not communicate with spoken words to my doctor, i was too confused. a pack of cigarettes every 2 days.. none of that didn't even come close to giving me relief from the pain from mercury for the first 12 months.. never needed anything to get relief like that before.

after 6 months i made a friend for 10 days at some place, we met and their memory of me was that i was 'swaying' trying to stand up

yeah quitting codeine was easy compared to the valium. i can only just walk and talk at the moment. i stopped fitting and staying up all night a while back i don't know how long ago. so thats good right? i cannot control my breathing very well, its hard to breathe from lack of control of my body.