Hi Jeanie

There are indeed lots of good reasons to wait, when your not ready for anything it’s dangerous, who’d let their 12 year old drive a car on a freeway for instance. One more interesting statistic, I’m full of them lately aren’t I, was from a study in Queensland some time ago, children who were raised with the abstinence only sex education message started having sex earlier on average than those who were given a full and honest sex education. I agree with you, obviously, that the full picture in an age appropriate way is by far the best and the stats bear that out time and again and from many different countries.

I’ve known people who waited till they were married and people who were early starters and to be honest both approaches have their problems. Obviously there are risks if you start too early, emotional and physical risks but of those who waited till they were married there is one problem that I’ve seen time and again, what if your not compatible? It’s a crude way to put it but “try before you buy” isn’t such a foolish idea IMHO. That way both of you can work out if you really are compatible before you get married. And I’m not just talking about sexual compatibility though that’s part of it but living together will give you a chance to experience day to day life with them and that’s a very different thing to just going out together. That may well be part of why atheist marriages are more successful than fundamentalist christian ones on average. I have a fundamentalist christian friend who’s heading for divorce from his wife for this exact reason, they waited till they were married for sex and to live together. They’re going through counselling now but from what he’s told me that incompatibility is one of the major underlying reasons for their problems.

On the other hand I’ve met up again with a couple of people I went to school with who were early starters and today they have only good things to say about their early years and they are now happily married with teen age kids, good jobs etc and are having a great life. I don’t think either approach is right for everyone. One size fits all answers are usually wrong for many people if not most. We are indeed all individuals.

The mouse studies are interesting, those results surprise me in mice due to their stronger instinct based lives but I wouldn’t be at all surprised to find a correlation like that in humans. I can just imagine some of the ladies from sex and the city being bad mothers for exactly this reason though who knows, maybe they’d calm down and be great at it if their motherly instincts kicked in.

(Raped)!!! Ouch sorry Jeanie. Some men are horrible. I’ve heard from far too many of my friends that they have been raped or molested. It’s far too common in our society today. Just recently one of my friends daughters, who’s 13 but looks 18, was attacked in a park on her walk home from school. She did a good job though stuck her fingernails in his eyes and ran off before he could do more than grab her. I hope he learned a lesson from that.

There are guy’s I’ve known to would rather women didn’t talk and just lay back with their legs open but they are a small minority, not small enough in my opinion but that’s another story. Me I much prefer a woman with a brain, it’s one of the things I particularly love about my wife. She’s a very clever lady. She’s beautiful too by the way ?? and obviously I’m not biased at all.

I don’t believe we are here to learn self control though I agree that we should, without it we can’t be the best people or build the happiest society that we could hope for.

In fact, my husband and I are older and we like to have sex once a year whether we feel like it or not just to keep things lively! (J/K : )

LOL!!!

(Yes, UT is Utah : )

You can tell I’m not from around there can’t you?

All the best.

Russell