No matter what ones perspective or beliefs are in life... ((( Smiles )))

Abuse is never O.K...
Hopefull someone out there will find this articule
helpfull for them..

Young People ask...

How can I stop My Boyfriend fom mistreating me ?

Today my boyfriend beat me for the first time.
He apologised but I don't know what to do now. "

--- Stella

"Approximately 1 in 5 female students," says an articule in The Journel of the American Medical Association,
" reported being physically and/ or sexually abused by a dateing partner. "

In a survey conducted in Germany among youths age 17 to 20, more then a quarter of the girls reported that they had been subjected
to unwanted sexual contact involving physical violence, verbal pressure, drugs, or alcohol.

According to one U.S, survey, 40 percent of the teenagers polled have seen classmates " verbally insult someone they were dateing in a hurtfull way. "

Are you a young adult pursuing marriage with someone who insults you or yells at you or who belittles, pushes, shoves or slaps you' ?

A previous articule in this series showed that such mistreatment is alarmingly common.

It further showed that Jehovah God does not approve of abusive speech or conduct and victims should not accept
such misbehavior as normal or as something that is their fault..
{ Ephesians 4:31 }

Even so, knowing what to do in such a situation is not easy.
You may still have strong feelings for your boyfriend-- despite his behavior.
Or worse yet, you may fear his rejection if you criticize him.

What should you do?

Assess The Situation

First, you need to calm down and get an objective view of what has happened.
{ Ecclesiastics 2:14}

Are you truly a victim of verbal abuse ?

Was your boyfriend being deliberately malicious , or was he simply " speaking thoughtlessly " ?
{ Proverbs 12:18 } How often has this occurred ?

Is it a one-time mistake that you can simply overlook ?

Or has he developed a habit of saying belittling or insulting things ?

If you are not sure of your own feelings in this regard,
talk matters out with someone -- not another peer but someone who is older and wiser.

Perhaps you can confide in your parents or a mature fellow Christian.
Such a discussion can help you determine if you are overreacting or if a serious problem does exit.

If it seems safe to do so, arrange to talk to your boyfriend about it..
{ Proverbs 25:9 }

Calmly tell him how his behavior makes you feel. Be specific about why you were offended.
Set clear limits regarding what you will not tolerate.

How does he react ?
Does he brush your thoughts aside or respond with even more angry speech ?
This is a clear signal he is unwilling to change.

What, though, if he displays godly humility and genuine remorse ?

Then it could be possible to salvage the relationship.

Be carefull though!

Perpertrators of verbal abuse often make elaborate expressions of seeming remorse after they hurt someone--
only to repeat their hurtfull speech the next time they feel provoked.
Time will tell how sincere he is about makeing changes.
One good indication of how serious he is would be his willingness
to seek help from Christian elders.
{ James 5:14-16}

Realize that" all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. "
{ Romans 3:23 }

You will search in vain for someone who is perfect.
All married couples will expirence some measure of " tribulation in their flesh " because of imperfection.
{ 1 Corinthians 7:28}

In the final analysis, you have to decide if his flaws are ones you can live with happily.
Again, allowing some time to pass is the safest way of makeing this determination.

When Their Is Violence

It is a different matter, although, if the abusive speech is laced with angry profanity or threats of violence
or if you find yourself being physically --- perhaps being pushed, shoved, or slapped.

This indicates a dangerous lack of self- control; things can easily escalate into more serious expressions of violence..

It is best for unmarried couples to avoid being isolated together in the first place.
But if you do somehow find yourself alone with a rageing man,
do not " return evil for evil. "
{ Romans 12:17}

Remember : " An answer when mild , turns away rage, but a word causeing pain makes anger to come up."
{ Proverbs 15:1 }

Stay calm. Ask him to take you home. If neccesary, walk-- or run-- away!

What if a man tries to force a women into a sexual activity ?
Of course, it is wise for a couple, right from the start of a courtship, to set clear limits on their expression of affection.
{ 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 }

If a young man pressures a young women to violate Bible principles,
she should make it clear to him in no uncertain terms that she will not compromise..
{ Genesis 39:7-13 }

"Don't back down ," pleads Anne, who gave in to such sexual pressure.

" Have respect for yourself.

Please don't make this mistake, no matter how much you love him !"

Should he ignore your refusal, tell him that you consider any further attempts as rape.
If he does not stop, call for help and try to fend him off as you would any rapist.
* Articule if I find it has information on resisting rape.*

In either case, the Bibles counsel at Proverbs 22:24 is appropriate:

" Do not have companionship with anyone given to anger ; and with a man haveing fits of rage you must not enter in.
" You have no obligation whatso ever to remain in an abusive relationship.

Obviously, it would be foolhardy to meet alone with an abusive male to inform him of your breakup.

Likely, your best course of action is to let your parent know what has taken place.
Naturally , they will be angry and upset over your mistreatment.
But they can help you determine what further steps are to be taken.. *

* In some cases, such as attempted rape, your parents may decide to report matters to the police.
This would prevent other girls from going through such a devastating expirence.

Trying To Change Him

In any event, it is not your responsiblity to make your boyfriend change.

Irena admits: " You think that you love him, that you will manage , and that you can help him.
But you simply cannot. " Nadine likewise confesses:

" I keep thinking that I can change him. " The truth is, only he can ' make his mind over ' and change.
{ Romans 12:2}

So be firm in your decision, turning a deaf ear to any efferts he might make to play on your emotions.
Try to put as much distance between you and him as possible-- emotionally and physically.

Do not allow him to talk, beg, or threaten you back into a relationship.
When Irena broke up with her violent boyfreind, he threatened to kill himself.

Clearly, such a person needs help, but not your help.
You help him best by takeing a stand against unchristian behavior.

If he wants to change, he is free to seek help.

However, some think think that marriage will solve the problem.

Says one researcher: " Women who marry their abusive boyfriends
and men who marry their abusive girlfriends are usually surprised to discover that the violence doesn't stop.
Many people believe the myth that once the marriage license is signed all such problems evaporate.

Don't believe it. " The fact is, physical violence that starts in courtship is very likely to carry over into marriage.

" Shrewd is the one that has seen the calamity and proceeds to conceal himself , " says the Bible.
{ Proverbs 22:3 }

Breaking up with someone you care about is hard

But being trapped in an abusive marriage is far harder..
Besides, you need not fear that you will never find a suitable partner.

With the insite you have gained,
you will be more inclined than ever to look for someone who is gental, kind, and self controlled.

Healing The Emotional Scars

Being a victim of verbal or physical abuse can be devastating.

A victim named Mary advises " Get help-- tell someone immediately..

I thought I could make it through on my own, but talking to people has helped me.
" Confide in your parents, a trusted mature friend or a Christian elder.

Some have also found it helpful to keep busy by engaging in such things as wholesome reading, sports, or hobbies.
" Most important, " remembers Irena, was studing the Bible and attending Christian meetings."

Clearly, Jehovah does not approve of abusive words or actions.
With his help, you can protect yourself from being mistreated.

Violence is a way of proveing that one exists, when one believes oneself to be insignificant...
---- Paul Tournier

When one is married instead of dateing

The Family Secret..
Some Believe Spousal Abuse Can Be Justified By The Scriptures

By Shelia Graham
It was meant to be.
That's what 18-year-old Maria was told when she married John.
Maria and John ( not their real names ) had grown up together.

Their families had known each other for years.
They attended the same church.

When a tearfull Maria told her mother that John had lost his temper and struck her,
her mother assured her that many young men were high- strung like that ,
and he would surely settle down after they were married.

Between 30 and 50 percent of female high school students report
teen- dateing- violence.

But , after Maria and John were married. John began drinking more and became more abusive.
Then he quit going to church. Maria went to her minister.
Her minister told her to be patient with John.

Be a better wife, have babies , take care of your home and husband, he said.
Then John will become more responsible.
Maria's mother told her the same.

Children will make all the difference in John's behavior , she said.

Battering may start or become worse during pregnancy.

But, when Maria got pregnant , John called her lazy and irresponsible.

He pushed and slapped her when she was to exhuasted to maintain
her regular schedule of cooking and cleaning.

One evening , when Maria was 8 months pregnant , and his dinner wasen't on the table at 6 o'clock sharp,
John flew into a rage and broke Maria's arm.

John accomplished her to the hospital's emergancy room, and intimidated by him,
Maria told the doctor she had fallen accidentally.

Shortly afterward , Maria delivered twins , and a boy and a girl.
From the beginning , John showed special favor to his son.

He started to physically abuse his daughter at age 3, and
sexually abuse her at 6.

In 70 percent of the familes were wife abuse occurs, there is also physical abuse of the children.

Two years later, the daughter told Maria what her father was doing.

Maria couldn't believe her daughter at first , but finally caught John in their 8-year-old's room.
While he slept , Maria took the children and fled to Haven House, a shelter for battered women and their children.

Maria's story is one that Karen Fields, an Outreach Program counselor at Haven House in Pasadena California ,
feels she can tell. " Some of theses women expirences are so horrible that you couldn't print them," she said.

Haven House, founded in 1964, was the first domestic violence shelter service provided for battered women and their children ,
and has served as a model for many more programs in the United States.

Every 15 Seconds , Another Women Is Battered In The United States.

Though some assume that domestic violence is found only in lower
socioeconomics environments, the statistics prove otherwise.

While it is true that stress often triggers abuse , violent relationships occur in families of every educational level,
proffesional occupation , ethnic background and income category.

Unhappily, as Maria's expirence demonstrates , domestic violence also is found in Christian homes.

"Wife abuse doesn't occur just in families in which husbands are unsaved or alcoholics ,
where mothers work outside the home or couples are nominally Christian.
Many of the abused women with whom we talked are married to church leaders , deacons or pastors, " say James and Phyllis

Alsdurf in their book Battered Into Submission.
According to the Alsdurfs,
theses women " all consider themselves to be committed Christians and for the most part would uphold traditional family values.

Few would label themselves feminists , and almost without exception they have worked hard at being submissive to their husbands.

Battering Is Called The Most Unreported Crime

Incredible as it may seem, wife abuse is sometimes justified from the Scriptures and the Biblical concept of marriage ,
the violated wife is continually reminded that the apostle Paul told women to submit to their husbands in everything,
because her husband is her head as Christ is head of the Church.

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church.
Now as the church submits to Christ , so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."
{ Ephesians 5:22-24}

But we should also read the context of this passage , the scriptures preceding and following.

Verse 21, " Submit to one another out of reverance for Christ. "
Verse 25 , Husbands love your wives , just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. "

Verses 28 and 29 of the same chapter reiterate

That as Christ loved the Church, so should husbands love their wives;" He who loves his wife loves himself.
After all , no one ever hated his own body , but he feeds and cares for it.

A parallel New Testament scripture often misused to justify violent behavior against women in Colossians 3:18; "
Wives , submit to your husbands, as fitting in the Lord,"

But, once again,we must not fail to read the next verse,
" Husbands , love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
( verse 19).

What a blasphemy to the Word of God to use it as a justification for violence against women..

Each Year , 4,000 Women die from beatings.

In a Christian environment, convinceing husbands that wife abuse is wrong is sometimes difficult
because their church can have a false assumptions about what " ruleing the home " is all about..

The Alsdurfs said: " The churchs failure to effectively confront the problem of wife abuse ,
more then being just a reflection of a fundamental disregard for women or a fear of any challenge to a patriarchal system,
is a reflection of the failure to recognize evil for what it is. "

They continue: " The problem of wife abuse is not one of feminism, secular humanism or a lack of headship of home.
It is the problem of evil-- unseen and unopposed."

Wife abuse is evil, and Christians must recongnize and confront it for what it is.
No one can deny God's concern for those unable to protect themselves against harm.
What an affront to God when the physically weaker are the secret victims of thoses who should be providing for and protecting them.

Boys who grow up in violent homes are more likely to grow up to
be batters.

As with any other evil, wife abuse can be repented of and forgiven.
For her sake and for his , a battered wife should forgive her husband..

However, for her sake and her children's sake,
no victim of abuse should be expected to return to her abuser untill he see's his sin and shows repentence

by seeking professional help he needs so he will never repeat it.

Nothing she can do will change him.
Only he can choose to change,
and he must sincerely desire and determine to make that change before he will take the steps necesary to bring it about.

Why does he treat you this way ?. Because he chooses to.

None of us can help what we feel , but all of us can choose how we act upon our feelings.
Your partner could treat you differently if he wanted to.
And if he doesn't want to, then no matter how well you understand your partner,
you cannot change him. "

Some Physically abusive husbands , when they fear exposure,
stop battering their wives, only to replaced the physical abuse by increasing the emotional abuse.

Authors Richard J. Gelles and Murray A. Straus warn:
" The most hidden , most insidious , least researched,
and perhaps in the long run most damageing form of intimate victimization may be the emotional abuse of loved ones.
Belittling, scorning , ignoring, tearing down, harping, criticizing , are all possible forms of emotional abuse.
Such abuse takes many forms. "

For some women, because of long-term physical and emotional abuse to themselves ,
and many times to their children,
the initial love they had for their spouses has been totally obliterated by the evil they have suffered..

Although , through the help of God, their husbands might eventually repent and change,
theses women may choose to end the relationship.

Sometimes the abuse has gone on for so long that some women find that even though they can forgive their abusive husbands,
they cannot be reconciled to them.

God does not expect a women to endure physical and mental abuse from her husband for year after year ,
in the mistaken hope that he will eventually change.
It's not good for her.
It's not good for their children ,
and it's not good for her abusive husband.

If this evil is not recognized and goes unreported or is ignored, there's little chance that the abuse will stop.
In their attemps to " Save the marriage ," well - meaning friends and relatives must come to recognize that fact.

Is there any hope for theses marriages ? There is allways hope.

Once human beings see their sins for what they really are, they can repent , and Jesus Christ can empower them to change.

That's the purpose of this articule-- to show this horrible sin for what it really is.
For such problems as spousal -- wife or husband -- or child or parental abuse, talk to your minister.

Don't be surprised if your minister recommends professional help.
Most ministers make sure they are acquainted with reliable therapists and professional counselors trained in handling abuse in families..

The Plain Truth

Breaking The Cycle

If you find yourself guilty of abusive physical or verbal behavior,
You can overcome the cycle of violence, It won't be easy.
You may have suffered abuse as a child..

But , with God's help and professional counseling,
you can stop abuseing others.

Men's Work , by Paul Kivel , is recommended reading ( Vallantine Books).

For more information, call the domestic violence hot line listing in your phone book.
There are agencies that can help you adopt a new life-style based
on love and respect.

The Cycle Of Abuse

Experts have observed a cycle to violent behavior.

The first stage is the tension- building stage.
" Verbal abuse, threats, and minor battering incidents occur at this time.
Women attempt to calm the batterer.
They try to anticipate every need, wish and whim..

Yet the battering does esculate to stage two,
" the acute battering incident, " says psychologist Lenore Walker.

Stage two is characterized by the " uncontrollable discharge of tension."

Uncontrolled battering is followed by the third stage of " kindness and contrite loveing behavior. '
The abusive husband knows he has gone to far and tries to compensate by being kind and loveing to his victim.

" Eventually , the calm is followed by a slow build up of tension..
A husband begins to think that his victim is getting alittle too free.

Minor battering is used to bring the victim ' back into line ."
( quoted by Richard J. Gelles and Murray A. Straus in Intimate Violence, page 131)

A controlling partner may use any or all of the following forms of social, physchological and sexual abuse.

* Isolation: Power and control are manitained by isolating his wife from her family and friends.
He tries to control what she does , who she see's and talks to, where she goes.

* Economic Abuse: " The controller makes her ask for money, keeping her on an allowance.
Any money she makes , he takes.

* Threats : He may make or carry out threats to hurt her emotionally, such as a threat to commit suicide.
He may threaten to take the children or report her to welfare.

* Intimidation: Fear tactics are used to intimidate her, such as shouting or useing certain gestures and looks.
He may smash things and destroy what belongs to her.

* Emotional Abuse: He criticizes everything she does. He puts her down, calls her names.
He plays mind games , trys to make her think she's crazy.

* Sexual abuse: He treats her like a sex object , makeing her do sexual things against her will.
He may allso have affairs with other women.

* Useing Children: He makes her feel guilty about the children.
If he and his wife or seperated, he may use visitations as a way to harass her.

( Forms- of-abuse information is from,
Haven House's guide, "Surviving Domestic Violence. " )

As all women of the world should be treated with care.
As men should be as well.

But this articule right here based on how Jesus treated women, some people will enjoy reading.
It's called as in line with this thread..

Christian Women Deserve Honor and Respect.

1 Peter 7: Likewise, husbands dwelling together according to
knowledge , as with a weaker vessel the female, bestowing honor,
as truely ( being ) co-heirs of ( the ) grace of life , not cutting off your prayers ..

At the old well near the city of Aychar one noontime toward the end of 30 C.E. ,
Jesus revealed how he felt that women should be treated.

He had spent the morning trekking through the hilly country of Samaria and arrived at the well tired, hungry , and thristy.
As he set beside the well , a Samaritian women approached to draw some water. " Give me a drink, " Jesus said to her.

The women must have stared at him in amazement.
She asked; " How is it that you, despite being a Jew,
ask me for a drink, when I am a Samaritan women ?"

Later , when his disciples returned from buying foodstuffs , they were taken aback,
wondering why Jesus was " speaking with a women. "
{ John 4:4-9,27}

What prompted this woman's question and the disciple's concern ?

She was a Samaritian , and Jews had no dealings with Samaritans.
{ John 8:48 }

But evidently there was also another reason for concern.
At that time rabbinic tradition discouraged men from talking to women in public."
Yet, Jesus openly preached to this sincere woman, even revealing to her that he was the Messiah.
{ John 4:25,26}

Jesus therefore showed he would not be bound by unscriptural traditions, including thoses that degraded women.
{ Mark 7:9-13}

On the contrary,
by what he did and by what he taught, Jesus demonstrated that women should be treated with honor and respect.

How Jesus Treated Women

Jesus tender compassion for people was reflected in the way he
dealt with women. On one occasion a women who had been suffering
from a flow of blood for 12 years searched for Jesus in a crowd.
Her condition made her ceremonially unclean, so she should not have been there.
{ Leviticus 15:25-27}

But she was so desperate that she slipped in behind Jesus.
When she touched his garment, she was instantly healed !
Even though , he was on his way to the home of Jarius , whoses daughter was gravely ill , Jesus stopped.
Haveing felt the power go out of him, he looked around for the women who touched him.
Finally, the women came and fell down before him trembling.

Would Jesus scold her for being in the crowd or for touching his garment without his permission ?
On the contrary , she found him very warm and kind.
" Daughter, " he said, " your faith has made you well. "

This was the only time Jesus directly addressed a woman as " daughter. "
How that word must have put her heart at ease!
{ Matthew 9:18-22; Mark 5:21-34 }

Jesus looked beyond the letter of the law

He saw the spirit behind it and the need for mercy and compassion.
{ Compare Matthew 23:23 }

Jesus noted the sickly woman's desperate circumstances and took into consideration that she was motivated by faith.
He thereby set a good example for Christian men , particularly overseers.

If a Christian sister is faceing personal problems or an especially difficult or trailsome situation,
elders should try to look beyond the immediate words or actions and take into consideration the circumstances and motives.

Such insight may indicate that patience, understanding, and compassion are needed instead of counsel and correction.
{ Proverbs 10:19;16:23;19:11 }

Hemmed in by rabbinic traditions ,
women liveing when Jesus was on earth were restricted from serving as legal witnesses."

Consider what happened shortly after Jesus was resurrected from the dead on the morning of Nisan 16,33 C.E..
Who would be the first to see the resurrected Jesus and bear witness to other disciples that their Lord had been raised up ?
It turned out to be the women who had stayed within view of the impalement site until he expired.
{ Matthew 27:55,56, 61}

Early in the morning and the first day of the week ,
Mary Magdalene and other women went to the tomb with spices to treat Jesus' body.

Upon finding the tomb empty , Mary ran off to tell Peter and John.
The other women remained.
Soon , an angle appeared to them and told them that Jesus had been raised up.
"Go quickly , and tell his disciples " the angel instructed.

While theses women were hurring to deliver the news,
Jesus himself appeared to them.
" Go reported to my brothers , " he told them.
{ Matthew 28;1-10; Mark 16:1,2; John 20:1,2 }

Unaware of the angle's visit and overcome with grief, Mary Magdalene returned to the empty tomb.
Jesus appeared to her there, and after she finally recongnized him , he said:
"Be on your way to my brothers and say to them, "
I am ascending to my Father and to your Father and to my God and to your God."
{ John 20 verse 17}
{ John 20:11-18 } compare { Matthew 28:9,10}

Jesus could have appeared first to Peter, John, or one of the other male disciples.
Instead , he choose to favor theses women by makeing them the first eyewitnesses of his resurrection and commissioning them
to bear witness about it to his male disciples.

How did the men initially react ?

The record states;
" Theses sayings appeared as nonsense to them and they would not believe the women, "
{ Luke 24:11 }

Could it be that they found the testimony difficult to accept because it came from women?
If so, in time they recieved abundant evidence that Jesus had been raised from the dead.
{ Luke 24:13-46} { 1 Corinthians 15:3-8}

Today, Christian men act wisely when they take into count the
observations of their spiritual sisters.
{ Compare Gensis 21:12 }

It is truely heartwarming to note the way Jesus dealt with women.
Ever compasionate and completely balanced in dealing with women,
he neither exalted nor belittled them
{ John 2:3-5 }

He rupudiated the rabbinic traditions that stripped them of their dignity and that invalidated the Word of God.
{Compare Matthew 15;3-9}

By treating women with honor and respect,
Jesus revealed firsthand how Jehovah God feels they should be treated.
{John 5:19}

Jesus also set a splendid example for Christian men to imitate.
{ 1 Peter 2:21}

Jesus Teaching Regarding Women

Jesus refuted rabbinic traditions and dignified women not only by his actions but by his teachings as well.
Consider , for example what he taught about divorce and adultery..
Regarding divorce , Jesus was asked the question;
" Is it lawfull for a man to divorce his wife on every sort of ground ?"

According to Mark's account , Jesus said;
" Whoever divorces his wife [except on the ground of fornication ] and marries another commits adultery. "
{ Mark 10:10-12} { Matthew 19:3,9 }

Thoses simply words showed the respect for the dignity of women.
How so ?

First, by the words " except on the grounds of fornication."
[Found in Matthew's Gospel account ],

Jesus indicated that the marriage bond is not to be viewed lightly or broken easily.
The prevailing rabbinic teaching allowed for a divorce on such minor grounds as a wife's spoiling a dish of food or talking to a strange man.
Why, divorce was even allowed if a husband found a women who was more attractive to his eyes !
One Biblical scholar notes:

When Jesus spoke as he did he was strikeing a blow for women by
seeking to restore marriage to the position it ought to have.
" Indeed , marriage ought to be a permanent union in which a women can feel secure.
{ Mark 10:6-9 }

Second, by the expression " commits adultery against her. "
Jesus introduced a view that was not recognized in the rabbinic courts,
the concept of a husband's committing adultery against his wife.

Explains The Expositor's Bible Commentary:
In rabbinic judaism a woman by infidelity could commit adultery against her husband; and a man,
by haveing sexual relation's with another man's wife, could commit adultery against him.
But a man could never commit adultery against his wife no matter what he did.

Jesus , by putting the husband under the same moral obligation as the wife,
raised the status and dignity of women.

Third, by the phrase" after divorcing her husband,
" Jesus recognized the right of a women to divorce an unfaithfull husband,
a practice apparently known but not common under Jewish law in that day. "

It was said that " a women may be divorced with or without her will, but a man only under his will."

According to Jesus, however, under the Christian system , the same standard would apply to both men and women.
Jesus' teaching clearly reveal a deep concern for the welfare of women.
It is therfore,
not hard to understand why some women felt such love for Jesus that they cared for his needs out of their own belongings.
{ Luke 8:1-3 }

What I teach is not mine, " Jesus said, " but belongs to him that sent me."
{ John 7:16}
By what he taught , Jesus reflected Jehovah's own tender consideration for women.

" Assigning Them Honor"

The apostle Peter observed firsthand the way Jesus dealt with women.

Some 30 years later, Peter gave wives loveing counsel and then wrote:
" You husbands , continue dwelling in like manner with them according to knowledge, assigning them honor as to a weeker vessel,
the feminine one, since you are also heirs with them of the undeserved favor of life, in order for your prayers not to be hindered. "
{ 1 Peter 3:7 }

What did Peter mean by the words " assigning them honor" ?
According to one lexicographer, the Greek noun translated " honor" ( ti -me') means " price, value, honour, repect."

Forms of the Greek word are rendered " gifts' and " precious. "
{ Acts 28:10; } { 1 Peter 2:7}

We get insite into what it means to honor someone if we examine
Peter's use of a form of the same word at ..
{ 2 Peter 1:17}

There he said with reference to Jesus' transfiguration: He recieved from God the Father honor and glory,
when words such as these were borne to him by the magnificent glory:
" This is my son, my beloved, whom I myself have approved. "
At Jesus' transfiguration, Jehovah honered his Son by expressing
his approval of Jesus , and God did so in the hearing of others.
{ Matthew 17: 1-5 }

The man who honers his wife, then, does not humiliate or downgrade her.

Rather, he demonstrates by his words and his deeds- in private and in public - that he esteems her.
{ Proverbs 31:28-30 }

This honor , Peter says should be 'assigned ' by Christian husbands to their wives.
It is to be rendered, not as a favor, but as the wive's rightfull due.

Why are wives entititled to such honor ?
Because " you are also heirs with them of the underserved favor of life, " explains Peter.
In the first century C.E., the men and women who recieved Peter's letter were all called to be joint heirs with Christ.
{ Romans 8:16,17} { Galatians 3:28}

They did not have the same responsibiltes in the congregation,
but they would eventually share in ruleing with Christ in heaven.
{ Revelation 20:6}

Today , too, when most of God's people have an earthly hope,
it would be a serious mistake for any Christian man to feel that because of the privileges he may have in the congregation,
he has more value in God's eyes then women do.
{ compare Luke 17:10}

Men and women have an equal spiritual standing before God,
for Jesus' sacrificial death opened up to both men and women the same opportunity,
that of beening freed from the condemnation of sin and death with everlasting life in view.
{Romans 6:23 }

Peter gives another compelling reason why a husband should honor his wife,
" in order for [his] prayers not to be hindered. "

The expression " to be hindered " comes from a Greek verb..
( en.ko'pto) that literally means " to cut into ".

Acccording to Vines Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words,
it " was used of inpending persons by breaking up the road, or by placing an obsticle sharply in the path,
" Hence the husband who fails to assign his wife honor could find that there is a roadblock between his prayers and God's hearing.

The man may feel unworthy to approach God, or Jehovah may not be disposed to listen.
Clearly, Jehovah is greatly concerned with the way men treat women.
{ Lamentations 3:44 }

The obligation to show honor does not rest with husbands alone.

Whereas a husband should honor his wife by treating her loveingly
and with dignity, a wife should honor her husband by being in subjection and showing deep respect.
{ 1 Peter 3:1-6 }

Moreover, Paul admonished Christians to ' show honor to one another.'
{ Romans 12:10}

This is a call for men and women in the congregation to serve together with mutal respect.
When such a spirit prevails, Christian women will not speak out in a manner that undemines the authority of thoses takeing lead.
Rather, they will support the elders and cooperate with them.
{ 1 Corinthians 14:34,35 } { Hebrews 13:17}

For their part , Christian overseers will treat "older women as mothers , younger women as sisters with all chasteness."
{ 1 Timothy 5:1,2 }

Wisely, the elders will give consideration to the voice of their Christian sisters.
Thus, when a sister shows her regard for the theocratic headship and respectfully asks a question or even
points out something that requires attention,
the elders will gladly give consideration to her question or problem.

Ever since the introduction of sin in Eden, women in many cultures have been regulated to a postion of dishonor.
But that is not the kind of treatment that Jehovah originally intended for them to expirence.

No matter what cultural views toward women may prevail,
the record of both the Hebrew and Christian Greek Scriptures clearly shows that godly women should be treated with honor and respect.

It is their God-given due.

When Words Become Weapons

" There exists the one speaking thoughtlessly as with a stabs of a sword."
{Proverbs 12:18 }

Within weeks after the wedding, it started, " says Elaine."
" Unkind remarks, belittling comments, and efforts to put down.

I was no match for my husband.
His quick mind and quick tongue could twist and distort everything I said."

Throughout the marriage Elaine has been subjected to an insidious type of assault that leaves no scars and elicits little sympathy.
Sadly , her situation has not improved with the passing of time.

We have been married now for more then 12 years, " she said.
There is not a day that passes without his being critical and sarcastic toward me , useing harsh, vulgar speech."

The Bible is not exaggerating when it says the tounge can be " an unruly injuriuos thing,.
Full of death-dealing poision."
{ James 3:8 } { compare Psalm 140:3}

This is especially true in marriage.

" Whoever said ' sticks and stones can break my bones but words
can never hurt me ' was dead wrong, " says a wife named Lisa.
{ Proverbs 27:15}

Husbands can also be the target of verbal aggression.
Do you know what it's like to be liveing with a women who is constantly calling you a liar, a stupid idiot or worse ?

Asks Mike , whose 4 year marriage to Tracy is headed for divorce.
I can't repeat in polite company the things she says to me.
That's why I can't talk to her and why I stay at work so late.
It's alot safer then comeing home."
{ Proverbs 27;15}

With good reason , the apostle Paul admonised Christians;
" Let screaming and abusive speech be taken away from you."
{ Ephesians 4:31 }

But what is abusive speech " ?

Paul Distinguishes it from " screaming " ( Greek, Krau.ge' ),
which denotes simply raising the voice.

" Abusive speech " ( Greek , bla.sphe.mi'.a ) refers more to the content of the message.
If it is tyranical, malicious, demeaning , or insulting,then it is abusive speech- whether it comes out in a shout or whisper.

The Wounds Of Words

A pattern of harsh speech can weaken a marriage ,
just as an ocean wave can erode solid rock.
" The more intense and prolonged , " writes Dr Daniel Goleman,
" the greater the danger.

Habitual criticism and contempt or disgust are danger signs because they indicate that a husband or wife
has made a silent judgement for the worst about their partner. "

As affection breaks down , husband and wife become, as one book puts it, " married legally, but not emotionally."

In time, they may no longer be married at all.

Railing speech , however , can effect more then the marriage itself.

A Bible proverb states;
" because of the pain of the heart there is a striken spirit."
{ Proverbs 15:13 }

The stress that results from a constant barrage of hurtfull words can take a heavy toll on ones health.

For example, a study conducted by the University of Washington ( U.S.A.)revealed that a women who suffers constant reviling
may be more prone to colds, bladder problems, yeast infections , and gastrointestinal disorders.

Many wives who have endured both verbal and physical battering remark that words can hurt more then fists.
" The bruises from his slaps would eventually heal and go away, " says Beverly,
" but I'll never never forget the awfull things he has said about the way I look, the way I cook, how I take care of the kids."

Julia feels much the same way..
" I know it sounds nuts , " she says,
" but I'd rather he hit me and get it over with than play mind games for hours."

But why do some people attack and berate the one whom they profess to love ?

Uncovering The Roots of Abusive Speech

" Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. "
--- Matthew 12:34

Some two millenniums ago, Jesus Christ stated the above words.

Yes, a person's words often reflect his deepest feelings and motives.
They may be praiseworthy..
{ Proverbs 16:23 }

On the other hand they may be treacherous.
{ Matthew 15-19 }

One woman said regarding her mate:
" He seems to get angry out of the blue, and liveing with him is often like walking through a mine field,
you never know what will trigger an outburst.

Richard describes a similar situation with his wife.
" Lydia is always primed for a fight, " he says.
She doesn't just talk; she lash's out in this belligerent way,
pointing her finger at me as if I were a child. "

Of course, arguments may erupt even in the best of marriages,
and all husbands and wives say things that they will regret.
{ James 3:2 }

But abusive speech in marriage is more then that ;
it involves demeaning and critical speech that is intended to dominate,or control, one's spouse.

Sometimes harmfull speech is disguised in a veneer of mildness.
For example, the palmist David described a man who was soft- spoken, yet inward sinster:
" Smoother than butter are the words of his mouth,
but his heart is disposed to fight.
His words are softer then oil, but they are drawn swords."
{ Psalm 55:21 } { Proverbs 26:24,25 }

Whether outwardly malicious or camouflaged ,
harsh speech can devastate a marriage.

How It begins

What causes a person to use abusive speech ?

Generally, the use of such speech can be traced back to what one sees and hears.
In many lands sarcasm, insults, and putdowns are considered acceptable and even humorous..

Husbands in particular may be influenced by the media ,
which have portrayed " real " men as domineering and aggressive.

Similarly, many who use denigrating speech were raised in homes where a parent's anger,
resentment, and scorn were spewed out on a regular basis.
Thus, from an early age ,
they recieved the message that this type of behavior is normal.

A child rasied in such an environment may pick up more than a pattern of speech ;
he may also assimilate a distorted view of himself and others.

For example,
if harsh speech is directed at the child, he may grow up feeling worthless , even provoked to being wrathfull.

But what if the child simply overhears his father verbally battering his mother ?

Even if the child is very young,
he can absorb his father's contempt for women.

A boy may learn from a father's conduct that a man needs to be in control of women and that the way
to get control is to frighten them or hurt them.

An angry parent may raise an angry child,
who in turn may grow up to become " a master of rage ."
who commits many a transgressions.
{ Proverbs 29:22 , footnote }

The legacy of injurious speech can thus be passed on from one generation to the next.

With good reason, Paul counseled fathers:
" Do not be exasperating your children. "
{ Colossians 3:21 }

Significantly, the Greek word transalated " exasperating "
according to the Theological Lexicon of the New Testament,
can carry the sense of " preparing and stirring up for combat."

Of course, parental influence does not excuse lashing out at others, verbally or otherwise ;
but it does help explain how a tendency toward harsh speech can be deeply ingrained.

A young man may not physically abuse his wife , but does he abuse her with his words and mood ?

Self- examination may reveal to a person that he has absorbed his father's contempt for women.

Obviously, the above principles can also apply to women.

If a mother verbally abuses her husband,
a daughter may treat her husband in the same way when she gets married.

A Bible proverb says: "It is better to be liveing in a waste land, than with a bitter tongued and angry women."
{ Proverbs 21:19, the Bible in Basic English }

Neverless, a man needs to be particularly cautious in this matter.

Why ?

The Power of Oppressors

The husband usually has greater power in a marriage then the wife does.
He is almost allways physically stronger,
makeing any threats of physical harm all the more terrifying.

Additionally , the man often has better job skills ,
more independent liveing skills, and a greater financial advantages.
Because of this ,
a verbally battered women is likely to feel trapped and alone.

She may agree with the statement of wise King Solomon:
I myself returned that I might see all the acts of oppression that are being done under the sun , and , look !
the tears of thoses being oppressed, but they had no comforter;
and on the side of their oppressors there was power,
so they had no comforter. "
{ Ecclesiastes 4:1 }

A wife may be confused if her husband vacillates between extremes- courteous one minute, critical the next.
{ compare James 3:10}

Furthermore, if her husband is an adequate material provider,
a wife who is the target of harsh speech may feel guilty for thinking that something is wrong in the marriage.

She may even blame herself for her husband's conduct.
" Just like a physical battered wife, " confesses one woman,
" I always used to think it had something to do with me,"

Says another wife,
I was lead to believe if I would just try harder to understand him and be " patient' with him I would find peace."

Sadly, the mistreatment often continues.
It is indeed tragic that many husbands misuse their power by dominating the women they may have vowed to love and cherish.
{ Genesis 3:16}

But what can be done about such a situation ?

I don't want to leave," says one wife," I just want him to stop abuseing me.

After 9 years of marriage , a husband admits:
" I realize that I am in a verbally abusive relationship and that I am the abuser.

I defintely want to change , not leave.

There is help for thoses whose marriage has been racked by hurtfull speech,
as the following articule will show.

From Words That Hurt to Words That Heal

" Death and life are in the power of the tongue ."
-- Proverbs 18:21

Reviling-- a deliberate practice of useing insulting, abusive speech-- is clearly condemned in the Bible.
Under the Mosiac law, one who reviled his parents could incur the death penalty.
{ Exodus 21:17}

Thus Jehovah God does not view the matter lightly.

His Word, the Bible, does not support the notion that whatever happens " behind close doors "
is of little consequence as long as one claims to serve God.

The Bible states : " If any man seems to himself to be a formal worshiper and yet does not bridel his tongue ,
this man's form of worship is futile."
{ James 1:26 } { Psalm 15:1,3 }

So if a man verbally abuses his wife, all of his other Christian works could be considered worthless in God's eyes.
{ 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 }

Furthermore, a Christian who is a reviler could face expulsion from the congregation.
He could even lose out on the blessing's of God's kingdom.
{ 1 Corinthians 5:11; 6:9,10}

Clearly, a person who is hurtfull with his words needs to make a drastic change.

But how can this be accomplished ?

Bringing the Problem to Light

Obviously , an offender will not change unless he clearly understands that he has a serious problem.

Unfortunately, as one counselor observed , many men who use abusive speech
" Do not view their behavior as abuse at all.

To theses men , such actions are entirely normal and are the " natural " way husband and wives relate ".
Thus, many will not see the need to change untill the situation is straightforwardly brought to their attention.

Oftentimes, after prayerfully weighing her situation , the women will feel compelled to speak up --
for her own welfare and that of her children and out of her concern for her husband's standing with God.

True, there is allways a chance that speaking up may make matters worse and her words may be met with a volley of denials.

Perhaps a wife can circumvent this by giveing careful forethought to how she will broach the subject,
" As apples of gold in silver carvings is a word spoken at the right time for it,"
says the Bible.
{ Proverbs 25:11 }

A mild yet frank approach at a calm moment may reach his heart.
{ Proverbs 15:1 }

Instead of makeing accusations,
a wife should try to express herself from the standpoint of how the hurtfull speech affects her.

" I " statements often work best.

For example, " I feel hurt because....'
or I feel crushed when you say to me...'

Such statements are more likely to reach the heart, for they attack the problem rather then the person.
{ compare Genisis 27:46-28:1 }

A wife's firm but tactfull interventions can have good results.
{ compare Psalm 141:5 }

A man we will call Steven found this to be so.

" My wife recognized the abuser in me that I could not see,
and had the fortitude to bring it out in the open, " he says.

Getting Help

But what can a wife do if her husband still refuses to acknowledge the problem ?

At this point some wives seek outside assistance.
In times of such distress, people can approach their congregation elders.
The Bible urges these men to be loveing and kind when shepherding the spiritual flock of God and , at the same time,
to " reprove thoses who contradict " the helpfull teachings of " God's Word ".
{ Titus 1:9 } { 1 Peter 5:1-3 }

While it is not their place to meddle in the personal affairs of married couples ,
the elders are rightly concerned when ones mate is afflicted by the harsh speech of the other.
{ Proverbs 21:13 }

Closely adhering to Bible standards, theses men do not excuse or minimize abusive speech*
* To qualify to serve or to continue serving as an elder, a man is not to be a smiter.
He cannot be one who strikes people physically or browbeats them with cutting remarks.

Elders and ministerial servants are to preside over their own households in a fine manner.
No matter how kindly he may act elsewhere , a man does not qualify if he is a tyrant at home.
{ 1 Timothy 3:2-4,12 }

The elders may be able to faciliate communication between
husband and wife.

For example , one elder was approached by a women who told of years of verbal battering by her husband ,
a fellow worshiper.

The elder arranged to meet with the two of them.
As each one spoke , he asked the other to listen without interruption.

When it was the wife's turn , she said she could no longer tolerate her husband's explosive anger.
For years , she explained ,
she had a knot in her stomach at the end of each day,
never knowing weither he would be in a angry mood when he walked throught the door.

When he exploded , he would say demeaning things about her family,her friends, and her very person.

The elder asked the wife to explain how her husbands words made her feel.
" I felt like I was this bad person whom no one could love, "
she replied.

I would sometimes ask my mother, Mom, am I a difficult person to live with ?

Am I unloveable ?"

As she described how his words made her feel, her husband began to cry.
For the first time, he could see how deeply he had been hurting his wife with his words.

You Can Change

Some Christians in the first century had a problem with abusive speech.

The Christian apostle Paul admonished them to put away
" wrath, anger , badness, abusive speech, and obscene talk.
{ Colossians 3:8}

However harsh speech is more of a problem of the heart then the tongue.
{ Luke 6:45}

That is why Paul added:
" Strip off the old personality with it's practices,
and cloth yourself with the new personality."
{ Colossians 3:9,10 }

So change involves not only talking differently but also feeling differently.

A husband that uses injurious speech may need help to determine
just what motivates his behavior.

He would have to have the attitude of the psalmist:
Search through me, O God, and know my heart.
Examine me , and know my disquieting thoughts,
and see weither there is in me any painfull way."
{ Psalm 139:23,24 }

For example:
Why does he feel the need to dominate, or control, his mate ?

What triggers a verbal assault ?
Are his attacks a symptom of deeper resentment ?
{ Proverbs 15:18}

Does he suffer from feelings of worthlessness ,
perhaps resulting from an upbringing that was marked by critical speech ?

Such questions can help a man uncover the roots of his behavior.

Abusive speech is difficult to uproot, though,
especially if it has been inculated by parents who themselves were verbally caustic or by a culture
that promotes domineering behavior.

But anything that is learned can--- be unlearned.
The Bible is the greatest help in regard to this.
It can assist one to overturn even strongly entrenched behavior.
{ Compare 2 Corinthians 10:4,5 }

How ?

Proper View Of God- Assigned Roles..
Often , men who are verbally injurious have a distorted view for husband and wife.

For example, the Bible writer Paul states that wives are to be
" in subject to their husbands " and that a husband is head of the wife."
{ Ephesians 5:22,23 }

A husband may feel that headship entitles him to absolute control.
But this is not so.

His wife, though in subjection, is not his slave.
She is his " helper " and " complement ."
{ Genesis 2:18}

Thus, Paul adds:
Husbands ought to be loveing their wives as their own bodies.

He who loves his wife loves himself, for no man ever hated his own flesh; but feeds and cherishes it,
as the Christ also does the congregation.
{ Ephesians 5:28,29}

As head of the Christian congregation,
Jesus never berated his disciples, causeing them to wonder nervously when the next outburst of criticism would occur.
Instead he was tender, thereby preserving their dignity.

" I will refresh you ," he promised them.
" I am mild- tempered and lowly in heart. "
{ Matthew 11:28,29 }

Prayerfull meditation on how Jesus exercised his headship can help a husband to view his headship in a more balanced light.

When Tensions Arise,
Knowing Bible principles is one thing;
applying them while under pressure is quite another.

When tensions arise,
how can a husband avoid slipping back into a pattern of harsh speech ?

It is not a sign of manliness for a husband to be verbally aggressive when upset.

The Bible states:
" He that is slow to anger is better than a mighty man,
and he that is controlling, his spirit than one capturing a city."
{ Proverbs 16:23 }

A real man controls his spirit.

He shows empathy by considering:
How do my words affect my wife ?
How would I feel if I were in her position.
{ compare Matthew 7:12 }

The Bible acknowledges, although, that some situations can provoke anger.

About such circumstances the psalmist wrote:
Be agitated, but do not sin.
Have your say in your heart, upon your bed, and keep silent."
{ Psalm 4:4 }

It has also been stated this way:
" There is nothing wrong with being angry,
but it is wrong to verbally attack by being sarcastic, humiliating or demeaning. "

If a husband feels that he is loseing control of his speech,
he can learn to call a time out.

Perhaps it would be wise to leave the room, go for a walk,
or find a private place to cool down.
{ Proverbs 17:14} says

Before the quarrel has burst forth, take your leave."
Resume the discussion when tempers have settled.
Of course, no one is perfect.

A husband who has a problem with harsh speech may relapse.
When this happens, he should apologize.

Putting on " the new personality "
is a continueing process but one that reaps large rewards.
{ Colossians 3:10}

Words That Heal

Yes, " death and life are in the power of the tongue."
{ Proverbs 18:21 }

Hurtfull speech must be replaced with words that upbuild and strengthen a marriage.

A Bible proverb states:
Pleasent sayings are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. "
{ Proverbs 16:24 }

Some years ago, a study was conducted to determine what factors caused strong families to function effectively.
" The study found that the members of theses families liked each other, and keep on telling each other that they like each other,"
reports marital specialist David R. Mace.

" They affirm each other, give each other a sense of personal worth, and took every reasonable opportunity to speak and act affectionately.

The result,
very naturally, was that they enjoyed being together and reinforced each other in ways that made their relationship very satisfying."

No God-fearing husband can truthfully say he loves his wife if he willfully injuries her with his words.
{ Colossians 3:19}

Of course, the same would be true of a wife who verbally batters her husband.

Really,
it is an obligation of both mates to follow Paul's admonition to the Ephesians;
" Let a rotten saying not proceed out of your mouth,
but whatever saying is good for building up as the need may be,
that it may impart what is favorable to the hearers."
{ Ephesians 4:29}

Yes,the power of a kind word..
" A heart bowed down with anxiety, how a kind word can refresh it !
{ Proverbs 12:25 }

Recognizing the power of speech.

In line with healing the emotional scars

Domestic violence weither against women, children or men.
Yes it can happen to men but more often it's a bigger problem
for women and children and can happen as well between boyfriend
and girlfriend.

It's a widespread problem in this country which tears familys aparts and breaks ones heart.
There's got to be a better way for the health issues of this society in general because it can be a health issue as well.

And does cost society alot in broken familys , kids ending up in foster care , without parents or one parent,
and also there is a heavy cost to society in general in regard to the emergancy room treatment's and medical bills.

And also in lives as it's a big issue in causeing alot of pain for loved ones.

I was reading the local newspaper about self - immolation..
with women commiting suicide to excape widespread domestic violence around the world as it can happen in this country as well.

Because life remains so bleak they don't see any way out they are so desperate to excape widespread domestic violence.
It truely does cause emotional scars that last along time..
And even for thoses around them.
Read the facts...

http://www.endabuse.org/resources/facts/

Involved dad can make all the difference for a child

By Tom McMahon / Kid Tips

Children who live with their biological fathers are,
on average, two or three times more likely not to be poor;
less likely to use drugs; less likely to expirence education ,
health emotional and behavioral problems ; less likely to be victims of child abuse ;
and less likely to commit crimes then their peers who live without both of their married biological ( or adoptive ) parents.

Theses differences reported by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services are observed even after accounting
for socioeconomics variables such as income.
Involved fathers provided practical support in raising children and serve as models for their development.

Children with involved, loveing fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school ,
have healthy self-esteem and exhibit empathy and pro-social behavior.

Committed and responsible fathering during infancy and early childhood contributes emotional security ,
curiosity and math and verbal skills.

Involved dads should be proud.

Sadly, millions of children will not recieve the benefits loveing fathers provide.
Children who were abandonded by their fathers not only feel rejected,
but also have recurring fears of abandonment and relationship issues.

Clearly , keeping dads in the family picture benefits everyone.

[quote=Lynnmn]Involved dad can make all the difference for a child

By Tom McMahon / Kid Tips

Children who live with their biological fathers are,
on average, two or three times more likely not to be poor;
less likely to use drugs; less likely to expirence education ,
health emotional and behavioral problems ; less likely to be victims of child abuse ;
and less likely to commit crimes then their peers who live without both of their married biological ( or adoptive ) parents.

Jeanie: The quote thing didn't work.... (or I didn't do it right?) Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about this issue with what I see at school. Last week I was subbing for a special ed collab teacher. In this one class with repeat kids in a math class (they had flunked it last year), the first day I was there with a female regular teacher, half of the 8 or 9 kids in this class would not even work. I got to know them a little and the next day, had them alone, and they DID do their work. Right or not, they tried! Then the next day, the teacher was still sick and another sub was in there with me. He was a male who was moonlighting. His regular job was a Federal police for Homeland Security. He came off loving but stern, nice but firm and I could not believe the way these young men reacted to him! It appeared he was giving them something they absolutely craved and I have a feeling it was the loving guidance and discipline that these kids were not getting at home from their fathers. I see it all the time, actually.

Hi Jeanie, ((( Smiles )))

I can't do the quote thing either.
Someone on this board explained to me how.
Maybe it was Bex, I can't remember but someday I'll practice trying it.
Plus I made a typo on a thread I reviewed so I'll just post that sentence quote down below correctly.
We all make typos but yes..
Thats right. Children absolutely crave their fathers.
They need their dads, dads have value!
And a dad needs to really be a dad as well too.
To be involved at home and give them something that moms can't.
They compliment each other, kids do need two.
Thats what I believe as well.

A Good Father Is Gentle With His Children

In keeping in line with the Bible's viewpoint on this subject of
abuse as thats the viewpoint I come from and many people in
the world share their beliefs and direction and comfort based
on thoses ancient scriptures as well.

But lots of people do go through an abusive situation at some point in their lives..

And it effects us all in some way...
So..

Is It Weak To Be Gentle ?

A Good Father Is Gentle With His Children.

Gentle , yet powerfull...
Is It Weak To Be Gentle ?

" A slave of the Lord does not need to fight,
but needs to be gentle to all. "
{ 2 Timothy 2:24 }

Long before we are born, our developing skin becomes sensitive to touch.
From birth we crave our mother's tender caress.

During childhood our tendency to smile, our ability to develop emotionally,
and even our desire to master communication skills are influenced by the amount of affection we receive from our parents..

The Bible foretold, however that during the last days,
people would be " disobedient to parents , unthankful, disloyal,
haveing no natural affection."

Gentle qualities such as kindness and compassion would be sorely lacking,
since men would be " lovers of themselves " and "fierce,
without love of goodness.. "
{ 2 Timothy 3:1-3 }

Many today feel a need to be tough and emotionally callous.
They claim that being gental is a sign of weakness.
But is it ?

A Good Mother Is Loveing With Her Children..

Gentle , yet powerfull...
Is It Weak To Be Gentle ?

M M
MOMS

" Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
Proverbs 31:29

Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, for he praises her.
many are the daughters who work ably,
but you rise above them all.
Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain;
but a women who fears Jehovah, she shall be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.

True religion trains husbands to 'love their wives as their own bodies,'
helps wives to develop 'deep respect for their husbands,'and teaches children to 'be obedient to their parents.'
----Ephesians 5:28,33;6:1

In addition, those entrusted with positions of authority must have exemplary morals.
----1 Timothy 3:1-10

Our God is a God of Love!
He wants us to also care about the poor.
When we have pity upon the poor the Lord takes notice.

He that hath pity upon the poor lendeth unto the LORD; and that which he hath given will he pay him again.
Proverbs 19:17

Our God does care God wants us to do our part!

It Was Love That Created Mankind Both He and She both Male and Female & Loved us enough to give up His life for us. No greater love then giving ones life for a friend thats our God! We are His children.


The devil comes only to kill, steal & destroy our God gave us our life!

The Power Of Oppressors. God created then both Male & Female & Loved Them Both enough to give them life. In knowing God loves both In Healing the Emotional Pain the scars it's not just for Women & Girls it's little Boys & Men suffering as well.
The majority of Sexual Assaults in the military are on Men. It's true sexual assaults on Men have gone up.

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/24/us/in-...ed=all&_r=0

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013...y-sil/?page=all

And it makes one wonder what the stats are for sexual assault on males in this country in general. The choices we make in this life are eternal. We should care about both.

God Can Heal A Broken Heart Video.
God Can Heal Your Broken Heart.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgfjdPqU4xs

She has suffered such pain in the past
Joyce Meyer - Emotional Healing (1)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7MIeENYiE8