Instead of makeing accusations,
a wife should try to express herself from the standpoint of how the hurtfull speech affects her.

" I " statements often work best.

For example, " I feel hurt because....'
or I feel crushed when you say to me...'

Such statements are more likely to reach the heart, for they attack the problem rather then the person.
{ compare Genisis 27:46-28:1 }

A wife's firm but tactfull interventions can have good results.
{ compare Psalm 141:5 }

A man we will call Steven found this to be so.

" My wife recognized the abuser in me that I could not see,
and had the fortitude to bring it out in the open, " he says.