Hi Linda,

It sounds like you're under tremendous pressure right when you're least up to it. I'm no expert, but if DMSA helps you feel better, that may be saying something there about mercury! I'm leery, though, of chelating. I may try Bio-chelate. Have you looked into that online? Its supposed to be much more gentle but effective without any side effects. I think I will try that route. I need to be able to handle my life, personally, but still do something about it. I'm afraid the chocolate is to give me a boost, but its an artificial one and I will crash. I guess that is partly the dependence. I should go take my b-complex. I slept horribly last night partly cause my husband did and partly cause of not knowing if I'm working. That is one thing I hate about subbing. Sometimes they don't call you in till morning and its a major rush. We have a new sub system, too, which you can now check online along with getting called in. Not sure how that is going to work. We also have a new assistant principal over subs and this one doesn't know me. The other would call me at home. I don't want to add other schools to my list but might need to depending on whether they use me enough. It was doubtful I'd be called the first day and may not this week at all, but it has happened before. I'm not quite ready, though. Have to pull my bag together and get my hours straightened out. That doesn't usually happen, though, till I'm forced. I will inevitably take a nap today.

Honestly I worry about the level of responsibility I'd have actually being responsible for teaching and the prep cause I don't know what I'm doing that way even though I did homeschool, (but I used whatever curriculum I wanted - I guess I did plan....)but figure that is what school will be for. They apparently trust your ability to give you that much. Just sounds like its hitting at a rough time. Are you taking lots of B-complex? I need to do that for the real energy I need. And cut out any sugar. I know from what you've said you may be feeling kind of out of touch, but when I pray for focus it helps. Personally I have trouble focusing sometimes. Not sure, either, if you have access to Bach Flower Remedies over there, but they really do work. My daughter had some strange anxieties - OCD type stuff - when we lived in AK and a friend helped me put together a formula for her. It helped! I've used it too. I can sometimes get in emotional funks when I just want to cry from hormones, likely sugar (dumb...) and grief from losing my brother and the Rescue Remedy really does help me stop. I even carry around a spray bottle for times at school when I feel overly stressed. Its basically flower essences that this guy, Bach, discovered helps emotions.

Are you sleeping? I really hope you feel better soon. I know with me if I put off things that are bugging me that I know I need to do I can't relax. I'm afraid I'm a procrastinator.

Thanks for the encouragement about helping kids. Finishing school won't be fun. Its kind of neat...generally I end up subbing where I'm really needed. I pray about getting the right jobs and it does work out. I need to do that and not worry about it myself right now.

You probably ought to back off from chelating for a while. I'm sure the group you're on will tell you that. (The adrenal one : ) It could take a little while to come out of the initial stage afterward, but it would likely help once you're "on" with school. You can only judge there, though.

I really think I'll try the bio-chelate...