Hi Everybody, Just wanted to give everyone an update on my status. As I mentioned previously I had detoxed and done the cutler program for a good year with DMSA for about 7 months. I quit caffeine, sugar, white flour ect... Very slowly I was able to get almost 70% off my antidepressant (celexa) med. Can't say I was doing great but not bad. Well the last cut of medicine was the one that threw me. Linda Lou, you were right when you said it was that! That coupled with perimenopause coming on which my Dr. confirmed. She put me on a very low dose of birth control. Im hoping that that will stablize my cycle and stop the extreme mood swings. And the depression was sooo extreme all I could do was lie on the bed and stare like I was in a catonic state. I also realize that depression, suicide and mental illness runs in my family on both my mom and dads side. And honestly I cannot remember NOT being depressed, ever. But I can't remember much before the age of 5 or 6. But thats possibly whe the merc fillings started too. Anyhow about a month ago I came to the conclusion that I need to up my dose of celexa as much as I wanted to get off. So I did. I was as low as 20mgs just 2X a week. Now I'm seeing if I can swing 20 mgs every other day. I feel some improvement. But heres the catch. The med does help however it makes me somewhat drowsy and tired during the day somewhat mimicing the depression. Hence, the reason I have been a habitual caffeine user. Coffee, diet coke, ect... Yes I was able to kick it for most of the last year with a few mess ups but that was while going OFF the med. Now that Im going back on to literally save my life I find myself using herba mate oraganic tea (at least its packed with antioxidants) and diet coke. Yes it gives me the lift I need to get thru the day but Im wondering if this might be defeating the purpose again. ie is the caffeine making me more sick? I know I need to kick it again. But how? How can I get thru the day watching my kids and working 2 days a week without lying down to nap? Is there something else natural I can take? Theres has got to be a way. Thanks for all your support!