russ i am very sorry u are sufefring again, cause i could really relate to your story when i read it in 06 , and yeah its not fair. but what i'm really haveing problems about is not the fact that i'm sufefring or extremely sufferig, it's the TYPE of suffering. its not just about it that it's mental, cause mental torments i had all my lfie to an extent, it's that in all the confusion and dementia i am in i cannot find a constant, u say it's an opportunity for us to learnand I can't learn much. Those things u say, that we have to seize this knowledge and see it as an opportunity - I agree with you and it is some kind of comfort, but it's nothing i can retain in my mind, i will forget all about it in the morning, or just remmber parts of it but not able to graps the whole idea... this is a paradox, and that's why i am so angry , I'd really prefer to have some sort of MS, or even cancer, or other contions that people have here, but have more of my cognitive functions so I coud have SOME BASE for interaction with the world and God, and truths, but is'a like u are stuck and even all those fine - and true! - words are of little comfort where u cant ehm... utilise them? That's my anger, also at God, that he doesnt make things juts a bit more easy. Plus u get very little understanding from your family and other people and even at pleaces where u would expect understanding (yes, it's about u so sick).

Really my anger is not just that i remain sick, cause we all are, but because I'm incapable in a practical manner to make sense of all of it. (not that there isnt or i cant see it at time,s just cant utilise it cause of my dementia). like i say it's like u're stuck in a paradox. hope I'm making sense/

"The beauty of the soul shines out when a man bears with composure one heavy mischance after another, not because he does not feel them, but because he is a man of high and heroic temper."

—Aristotle

- this is very beuatiful and true russ but can it be for people deeply mentally ill? (dont include myself in this group yet but i know i'm heading there).

hope u get better again russ, u have been an inspriration to many.