mega I think I understand your feelings. For years I keep pounding my head ("literally") because It seemed I was always in a fog. There were those few days that I would be clear, I don't know how, but I could think and had good recall memory. Oh how I wish to have gone through my youth and not have had this burden! I think that I now have a more focused anger and that is not particularly bad. I didn't know what was causing all my pain before --- BUT I do now! Now I try to turn that anger into excitement because 1/2 the battle has been won. For what I know, many of our conditions can be reversible (possible cured) if we try, and I try to let my family, friends, and those around me about about the horrors of Mercury Poisoning. That has really helped me to start the healing process.