I know totally where your coming from, cos on top of everything else you get the guilt and know you won't get another chance. I was lucky in a way because my eldest is 25, 18 and almost fourteen and up until four years ago I was that happy mother that could do everything with them. In another way it makes it more frustrating, cos you can't understand why it just couldn't continue that way. I now of course have my 2 year old grandaughter and my daughter is going back to work, so I have agreed to look after some full and half days. As much as I want to at the same time I'm dreading it, in case I don't feel good. Fortunately we have a summer room in the garden and this has become her house. It's so hard for us mother's, we just want ouselves back. Love to you Tracy x