Thanks all for the good conversation and for bearing with the length of my posts. I didn't mean to dominate it with enormously-long posts, but I guess that's what it took for me to get some of these ideas into type.
Tracy, you said this...Along with another colleague we found that to change this mode of behaviour was to understand each individuals problems, build up confidence and self-esteem and show them that by changing and following a different path, they can take responsibility for changing their own lives
This is a tremendously profound statement, and I believe it demonstrates a powerful principle. There are four key things you mentioned here in relation to the process of fundamental change in a person:
(1) "understand...problems"
(2) "build up [self] confidence"
(3) "build up...self esteem"
(4) "take responsibility"
The Bible makes this profound statement that parallels yours:
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"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."[/color]
--2 Timothy 1:7
What's really interesting about your statement is that it echoes this Biblical principle almost exactly, and the concepts are even in the same order.
This Bible verse is speaking about the process used by God to build and strengthen people.
The first item mentioned in the Bible verse is that God has not given us a spirit of "fear". The first item you mention in this process is to "understand each individuals problems". Interestingly, if you break down the "problems" that each individual experiences in life, they are always rooted in fear. I know this idea may not be apparent at first, but if you analyze it long enough, you will be amazed at how true it is.
The second item mentioned in the Bible verse is that God gives us "power". The second item you refer to is to "build up [self] confidence". The "power" the bible if referring to expressed by the Greek word dunamis. This means the ability to do things, particularly to do "mighty works". Of course, this is exactly what "self-confidence" enables us to do.
The third item mentioned in the Bible verse is that God gives us "love". The third item you refer to is to "build up self-esteem". Self esteem is usually referring to the realization of one's value which is directly associated with ones ability to love and to accept love. By God giving us love, we realize our value and hence, our self-esteem will grow.
The fourth item mentioned in the Bible verse is that God gives us a "sound mind". The fourth item you refer to is to "take responsibility". The term "sound mine" is expressed in the Bible verse by the Greek word "sophronismos" which is better translated "self control". Not surprisingly, self control is the foundation of personal responsibility. When we begin to have self control in our own lives, we begin to realize (believe and have confidence that) we can take responsibility (and therefore control) of and for our own lives.
I have a personal love for
bits of wisdom packed into few words, so I was struck by the wisdom in the phrase you shared about the process for transforming lives, and by the parallels I see of it in Biblical wisdom.
So basically, I just thought it was cool so I wanted to point it out.
Tracy also said...So this way can work, as long as there are still some rules and guidelines that have to be followed at the same time
I totally agree. This is why I follow the Biblical principle of a minimum of rules ("negativistic" law). Again, they are there as guard rails while we are still growing in case we get
way out of line. Rules do not change us. Social pressure (or more precisely, how social pressure affects us emotionally) is what changes us (among other things), and providing social pressure for each other is
all of our responsibility. But rules are certainly important.
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"Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.[/color]
--Proverbs 27:17
Tracy also said...Proof of this came to me when I left a school with a high ratio of ' problem' children and they had taken so much time and trouble to make me cards and individual letters of sincere thanks.
That's awesome. It sounds like you're really making a difference. It must be rewarding for you.
Two thumbs up <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/twothumbsup.gif" alt="" />
Linda said...Are you saying that the person being insulted deserves the insult because there is something to be learned from not having the person's respect in the first place?
I defer to Sunshine's post. I could not have said it better. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/yeathat.gif" alt="" />
