Hi Bex

thanks for that. Yes i know, the thing is to be able to tell the difference between die off and candida growth.I think that i can do it now. With die off, although i feel lousy, inside me there is feeling that it is good, like some sort of expansion of the spirit. I take care now that I never have die off that is going to get me down. I have also learned not to spoil my immune system - to keep it on its toes. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/armed.gif" alt="" />

Eight years ago I got really ill from moving into a brand new house. It nearly killed me. I got on a strict macrobiotic diet as it as all I knew, as none of the alternate practitioners were able to do anything at all to help me - despite homeopathy, magnetic beds, all sorts of weird and wonderful therapies, which bless them, they did for free. I went really strict and anti-candida, and started out improving but found that the slightest break in the diet caused terrible problems so i got stricter and stricter until my body was ruling me. I also ate kelp which made my hpo thyroid go hyper so I lost a lot of weight in fact far too much and i became seriously ill.

This time I am the boss, and i am eating fruit every day nearly, and a little fermented product here and there, so as not to spoil my immune system into expecting me to live like I was before and having things just toooo easy. I am not going to kill the candida off at present so i let it have a little snack but not the bad things, no no.

For a treat I grind some cacao nibs add maca powder carob powder, ground sesame seeds, ground desicated coconut chopped goji berries, almond slices, and mix it with agarve syrup (well today it has to be maple syrup). New recipe today. It is ok, does the job.

I am aiming at holding out for a healing response without going ballistic. I am getting a little die back, with p'au thingy tea but just a little. The molybdenum has been great, and next i am getting some B5. I was on a pile of supplements but stopped them as they were not helping me at any discernable level, so I am going slowly and carefully. I will put the denatured whey on the list.

I found out yesterday that i too have been sleeping on a toxic bed, the frame being MDF. I could not believe it! I am highly sensitive to fomaldehyde. So it went out this morning and I am on the floor on a futon pad.

Also I am trusting God to show me if i am doing anything wrong, and what I should try next and just clinging onto trusting that he is healing me and wants me to be well for the first time in my life. I am also coping with the trauma of being with an abusive partner for 23 years, who i left 4 years ago, and from the discovery of the fact that he has slowly alienated my children from me during the whole time and now I am totally alone in the world.. Despite all of this, I am definitely in healing mode, but it is tough to keep going some days. But our bodies really want to heal and once we have learned any lesson that we have to learn the way is open for the healing.