Linda, I'm so sorry that you're going through so much pain. While I don't formerly have SAD, I am no stranger to experiencing depressive episodes. And I've had many problems with adrenal gland function and like Dawn, I was placed on H.C. cortisol for severe adrenal fatigue. Prior to my adrenals crashing, I had been experiencing the high cortisol levels for years. And before my adrenals were being treated with the H.C. and other natural supplements, I used to experience unpredictable bowels frequently.

Did I hear you say that you have a light therapy machine for home use? I've heard good things about them from a neighbor who uses one for his SAD. He also had his adrenal gland function tested via saliva testing and found out he actually had adrenal fatigue, but was experiencing spikes of cortisol around 3-4:00 a.m. His doc felt this could be attributable to being mildly hypoglemic at that time of night. So, the neighbor was instructed to eat a protein snack or drink a protein supplement shake before bed. That seemed to help the hip-hopping effect he had been feeling with the cortisol. Addressing the cortisol formerly and then using the SAD light/lamp setup has made thing much more bearable he said.

One thing that has really made a huge difference for me was learning that I had a serotonin deficiency. A holistic doc of mine put me on L-Tryptophan and it has helped with the depression in a wonderful way. I don't whether something like this could be beneficial to you or how it might interact with the negative effects you are trying to purge from the benzos you had been placed on. Anyway, I just thought I'd mention it.

Sending you warm huggles and hope you feel better,
Sharon