Mati I'm sorry things are so rough for you. Any time you want to talk here we'll listen.

Thanks Mikey. I know why my cortisol is high; the problem began the instant I withdrew from an antidepressant. It's a common effect of withdrawing too quickly, though most people don't recognise it for what it is. I take an adaptogenic herb too: ashwagandha. I also take ginkgo. They work very well for me. Relora helps lower cortisol but if I don't quite get it right, it can lower it too far and then I'm a walking zombie. It's usually not quite as dramatic as this though, not quite sure what's hit me.

I'd give anything, though, to be free of the SAD. I'm fed up with not being able to feel, and feeling like my body is made out of lead. It's psychological as well as physical -- just so very heavy. Every winter has been like this for 3 years. So the SAD is mixed in too, but god knows what I do about that without a light box. I'd be tempted to take a supplement to lower my melatonin as that may be a factor, but I'm not aware of any that do this.

I've emailed Dr. Peatfield; there's a clinic in the neighbouring county in March. Does anyone know if he does phone consultations?