compcoll,

i think you are new here but i just wanted to say you are not alone. i'm 23 years old and was just approved for getting disability/SSI. i have no help from my parents because they are sick themselves. it's funny because i have been in my room all day worrying myself sick about how am i ever gonna afford to get the things i need to get well. i was hoping i could stay with my parents while on disability to use the money to try and get well. but when i am with my mom or dad, i am in a constant state of stress and anxiety wondering when the next attack is gonna come.

a couple months ago i was hospitalized because i wanted to end my life. i was suicidal feeling many times after i left and today i was thinking if i can't get my needs met, i will be suicidal feeling again all because of money. the thing is, you know what the problem is so you have to keep fighting. suicidal thoughts are so scary because you have no hope. you see no end. for me its been because of money and a chronic stressful environment. if i go out on my own with SSD/SSI, i doubt i will have enough to even eat right. i am really really scared. i already have enough anxiety from the condition and candida.

please just hang in there ok? i am really sorry you are going through this because i know what you feel. if i were you, i would go to every single church. tell them about your situation and see what happens. pray to God. if the people from the church have Jesus in their hearts, they will love you and i think will do everything they can to help. i was homeless right before christmas and some christians let me stay with them at their home.

there are a lot of wonderful people on this site that have a lot of experience. after learning from them, i believe the ALA did stir things up being you still had the amalgams in.

just keep fighting until someone helps. are you like me and have no help from your family?

shawn