i am officially homeless now. everyone in my family has so many issues themselves, they can't have empathy or compassion for another. especially a 23 year old like myself who is very sick. they have all abandoned me and none have listened, learned, and no matter how many people i get to talk to them about heavy metals, they don't care. no matter how much testing, doctors, or evidence of my fatigue and mental health my entire life, they still don't care and want me to just be fixed. it's truly unbelievable and i realize for sure that i have absolutely no one.

my mother kicked me out for like the 8th time in three years because she thinks i am lazy and won't fight the illness and take 10 prescription meds like her. she says i am a grown man(she's been saying that since i was like 17) and i am living off of her. all i do is isolate in my room and have been waiting on disability so i can for the first time get what i need to hopefully get beter. one day she'll be supportive and speak as if she believes me and she says, "your way just takes longer rather than using meds to get well." so she knows i have a problem and there is a way to get well but she takes her issues out on me none the less and will randomly and spontaneously take things out on me cussing punching etc and then kick me out. she obviously doesn't care if i have a fulfilling good life with actual good health rather than take meds that don't even work. she's very bitter of her own life and doesn't realize how sick i am and how i have no one.

dad is alcoholic using cocaine and mother is just totally not aware of how to love anyone or her behavior. dad is the same. neither one know how to love. all of my other family are the same so i am totally alone. after all the emotional and physical abuse from both parents, i have no idea how i am still fighting and haven't went ape on the world. but maybe it's supposed to happen this way cuz i am totally different than my family. i don't think like them and my love to them isn't conditional like theirs is to me. i don't think they are cognizant of healthy relationships and just how to be happy in general. but anyways, maybe it is time for me to go out on my own.

my disability hearing is very timely because it is this tuesday after waiting approximately two years. my lawyer says i worked enough to make around 640 bucks a month. i'm wanting to check into low income housing and i've talked to a couple people that had it. one girl had around the same money a month as i would get and paid 200 dollars a month on housing i think. i talked to a friend the other day who has a roommate and they pay like 40 bucks a month a piece for their nice appartment which is for low income people. anyone with experience with this? i am in north carolina.

the most important thing is for me to get well and i don't know if i am gonna have enough money. how much is andies protocal a month? with basic supps, chelation like dmsa and ala, and food? i may not take dmsa and just ala. i'm not sure yet because i don't have fillings and my exposure to copper comes from chocolate etc. there is mercury too i am assuming though from vaccines.

obviously, i can't stay homeless and get well. i have no family. so i have to get a place Lord willing and i just hope it is a decent suitable one i can find. my depression, anxiety, fatigue are horrible and i get suicidal feelings sometimes cuz depression gets so bad. the despair and gloom and doom is profound and was hospitalized for it just this august. after that hospitalization my family was supportive and mom said she would never abandon me. so did dad but already they have screwed me. my family is so stupid they don't realize me being alone isn't good but i have no choice. i don't think being around them is a positive thing either so it's like a no win situation.

i just hope God takes care of me and this is supposed to happen. i know being around my family is no good because basically my parents are really sick and the other family members are just lost for real. none of these people know what family means or love means. i'm scared because i have never been on my own before and having this condition makes it really scary. ideally, i wanna be on my own and going to school and working. having a life and being with my friends. but i am not even close to well enough for that. anyone have any thoughts or suggestions?

sorry for such a negative depressing story but it's my reality unfortunately. i hope everyone is making improvements.

shawn