Yeah true sosick, I do need to break through that emotional problem, but it is part of what I have, has been for years. It is much harder than people realise if they have not been affected in that way with their sickness. Certainly I was not "quite" this way before I got ill, but was always tending towards shyness to some degree.

No, I don't feel any need to go to another church. I've already been down that road before I came to the one I'm at, and felt much more at home here to be honest and knew it almost immediately. But again, I do pray personally to Christ! NOt as much as I should however and that's something I need to work with (personal relationship). You could put me in any church and it's my personal relationship that needs the work, I know that full well. I have begged many times over the years and felt unanswered, but again doesn't mean I was NOT answered, it could just mean what I'm asking for isn't compatible with God OR that the timing isn't right....I really do not know! I am glad He hasn't failed you sosick! I think you are very strong in faith.