Hi Linda, ohhhhh yeah, the amount of pain and horrible outbursts, I mean it's a miracle that I didn't physically attack my own poor father and many times I threatened him physically. Once with a cup of boiling hot tea if he didnt shut up. THis is NOT the kind of behaviour that comes naturally to me and I felt frightened by it. Many times he threatened to leave me to it, but somehow he remained.

He's done a lot for me in the respect of getting food, helping with washing, dishes etc and being another person in my life and sharing rent. But he is not very good on the personal pain sharing lol. And often I would lose it with him because I felt like he wasn't interested or cared. In the end, after many years, I learned it was better to go to my room, shut my door and go it alone in that area, or phone Mum.

As for relationships? not even possible. What I have is so unpredictable, that it kills any possibility in that area dead quickly. I just cannot get on my feet enough or well enough to be "me". I know you know how that feels. Starting one, let alone sustaining one would be miraculous lol.

So I am pretty astounded you have made it this far and have a child. That is admirable. I never had to deal with that side of it. EAsier when it's just your parents, NOT when it's a partner!

It broke a relationship a few years ago when the virus hit. I had just started healing from the mercury, and got into a relationship and wham this happened and screwed me up so bad mentally/physically, it basically finished it and I've been alone since.

I could be doing much better than I am, but I guess I could be doing worse too. I don't hold my breath though, it's day by day. I don't know if I'm a strong person, but I think I've had no choice. You're kind of forced into handling stuff that is beyond your capabilities.

Yeah it is a shame we all can't meet up! But how many of us would leave the house <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> lol. But yeah it is good that we can talk freely here, thanks to Russ. I could not do this on other forums the way I can here.

Glad you're feeling a little better, wish it would continue like that. Your husband may have his limits, as we all do, but only time will tell. Sometimes people do leave, but sometimes they come back too. I know of a man that left his family (he was the one who was ill) and went away and gained his health back through a lot of effort and came back to his family. HE was lucky his wife was waiting for him!

But this is how serious these conditions are and how much of an impact they have on personal relationships. Very sad. E.g. a doctor I know of had a wife who had candida and it actually caused their divorce. He laughed and said she was treated for it and became once again the woman he had married and they 'got back together again.

These things happen. Awful that a sickness can have such an impact eh? A bit different if it's just the bottom half being affected, but the brain is another story.