Thanks for sharing this Bex. It must be difficult when people are saying those things to you. My husband Chris used to say things like that to me, the first couple of years of the depression. We had a lot of painful conversations and I think we see more eye to eye now. For my part I try not to talk too much about my symptoms and I try to conceal it when they are troublesome. Dramatics only make things worse for everybody. For his part, he has eased off and seems to be biding his time. I think he's pretty deeply committed but everyone has their limits. That's partly why it was a big "oh no not again" when the SAD started coming on this autumn. I'd been promising that with my daughter going to school and my course starting, the depression should start to lift.

I know I'm talking to someone who has suffered a long time and has come to terms with it. I think you are a very strong person Bex. You have sorted out your life and your relationships in very practical ways and as you say, you do not blame yourself for troubles that are not your fault. I'm learning about these things too. I'm learning not to cling too tightly to anything because that only creates fear when I think I might lose it. My daughter might be the one exception to that. I've just got to do what I think is best, and soldier on come what may.

It's a shame we can't all meet up. We'd have an interesting get-together wouldn't we LOL, everyone from this forum. I'm sorry you are across the world and having to deal with this without a lot of support. At least we can all talk here.

Thanks again. And by the way, I've been feeling better today. Maybe it's the gardening I did. I don't do a lot, but I always feel better for it. Something about helping plants to live and grow. They are full of chi and I think I must take it in when I work with them, even though I'm the last person you could describe as having a green thumb.