Yes, I'm the same way. I do this just about all the time around other people (other than my parents). INside you feel like screaming and to hold on with this "i'm ok" look can hit you later when everybody has gone and sometimes I break down.

I hope to have a true feeling of joy again oneday. I caught that at one stage after detoxing mercury and it was like being on a high. But now that I"m ill with this freaking virus and other problems, I'm pretty much depressed 24/7 , but the diet can help a bit. Or at least it encourages my body to start pushing poisons out more. Though that isn't easy, it's the only way that "might" help me feel better later on again. Though I'm never well.