It's about 18 days since I got the last of the amalgams out.
I have felt really bad today &yesterday tired,heavy,lightheaded,dizzy when I stand up,I woke up today looking deathly white,and had diarrhoea for hours,I suspected the huge amount of vitamin C I've been taking but don't know if thats cause.did not take any today.I felt weak &had to arrange for someone to take my son to school &collect him,I could have easily stayed in bed all day. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/zzz.gif" alt="" />
If he didn't need me I would do that sleep for days.
I am on the 3rd day of my period but it's no heavier than usual
but I feel anaemic,have been eating plenty of iron foods,seeds,parsley,except I had no meat last 3 days,maybe this is the problem.
I have no money at the moment except the bare mininum,for essentials like food &so cannot get more tests etc.But I feel like my minerals are all out of balance,and possibly organs under much strain,liver,kidneys,adrenals...
My back was achy yesterday.
The dishes &dirty laundry are piling up the last few days have no extra energy for that.which to me represents what's going on inside me too,all clogged up &needing help.
The natural medicine Doctor said to lay off the detox supplements for a few days,may be too harsh...I don't know why I'm writing this,maybe because I know some of you will have felt exactly this way or similar.It can be lonely,and sometimes I have to remember how I will someday feel better &have consistent energy,I'm hoping,sometimes I feel despair,and fear I may never get better or fear that something more sinister is going on in my body.It's a challenge to be positive all the time...<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/sadblownose.gif" alt="" />

Here are some ideas..

Drink lots of water, eat apples all day. Green granny smith apples have high pectin, good for getting toxins out.

I read somewhere a while back that if you boil water for about 20 minutes it'll put on a negative charge which is also helpful for removing toxins, suppose to just carry them out.

If you have green field around, or maybe just your yard, as long as it hasn't had any chemical fertilizers or pesticides in quite some time... look around for dandelions and make a big dandelion salad. Just dandelions, maybe add some fresh chopped garlic.. it tastes good a tad bitter. It will help you a lot. Just use olive oil and apple cider vinegar, ideally, for dressing... add salt you may be lacking salt which might be why you are getting dizzy.

Hang in there Sunflower.

Yes, lots of water, 2-3 liters per day, water really helps flush the toxin’s out.

Lots of fresh food. Try not to have much processed foods incl wheat/dairy if u can.

I’d say IF the supplements where ok before, then stick with them. If u have changed them, then drop/reduce anything u have changed. Vit C should help, unless you exceed bowel tolerance.

“I read somewhere a while back that if you boil water for about 20 minutes it'll put on a negative charge which is also helpful for removing toxins, suppose to just carry them out” – yeah this is ionized water and it will help. if u do this you need to remember to drink lots of normal water too, 2-3 liters per day. If you have Andreas Moritz “timeless secrets of health & rejuvenation” its on page 185.

Boil water for 15-20 min, pour into thermos flask. This keeps it hot throughout the day. Take 1 or 2 sips every half hour all day long and drink it as hot as you would drink tea. (I don’t have time to type the rest of it as i'm going on holiday and i'm late, but that’s the gist of it, maybe google it?)
(sips!….don’t glug it all down.)

rest as much as possible to give yr body a break. Maybe stay in bed all day.

Epsom salt baths are real good. nice long 30 min soak. really hot to make you sweat. epsom salts are cheap as chips too.

Is this a healing crisis? Now that the bloody mercury is gone your body is doing it’s job of detoxing you? If it is a healing crisis, that is a GOOD thing and it will pass.

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/orangebloom.gif" alt="" />

sunflower,

Did you have the lightheaded and dizziness before removal?

What supplements are you taking for detox?

Cut back on the vitamin c. Too much vitamin c does cause diarrhea.

"tired,heavy,lightheaded,dizzy when I stand up,I woke up today looking deathly white,and had diarrhoea "

That is probably from dehydration and potassium and sodium depletion due to the diarrhea. If you drink some milk, eat some yogurt , or eat some vegetables and drink enough water that will probably help quite a bit. Also eat some salty foods. You should start taking vitamin c again, but in more normal amounts(perhaps no more than a gram or two a day?)

Thanks very much for all the helpful advice!
I eat alot of apples,well about 4 a day, &raw foods already,and am cutting down a little on the vitamin C,was taking 14,000 mg + a day.Not sure what that is in grams but must have needed it as I didn't have a problem with it before.
I've been taking little bits of seasalt during the last few days,
I must have felt I needed it,thought it was interesting that all of you mentioned the salt.
Also sipping lots of water &camomile tea,soothes my stomach,helps me relax.
feel much better than yesterday,had a nap today,but still feel wobbly after the last few days and very slow.
Sosick, I can gather up some dandalions from the garden,what do you recommend these for?I remember reading that they were not good for people with hypoglycaemic tendencies,I'll have to look that up again but I know there was some reason I stayed away from the dandalions,before.

bg123,
you asked if I got dizzy before amalgam removal,yes I did sometimes,especially if I was not careful with my bloodsugar balance,and for a few months during my period,I would feel anaemic,dizzy,lightheaded &heavy bodied but for the last 3 months or so ,eating red meat put an end to these symptoms.
I was unprepared this month,and had no red meat for the week,just some chicken,and I think this was one of the problems.I have learned my lesson here though,will make sure I eat meat especially in the week before period.

I have been taking N.A.C (N-acetyl Cysteine?)for about 2 years,but came off it about 2 weeks ago.I started taking Liposomal Glutithione for the last 3 or 4 weeks,I take a homeoepathic "lymphomyosat"drops to help with lymph drainage.
And I had been eating the coriander(cilantro) in soups,and taking a little chlorella.but have stopped this too because of all the different scare stories,so basically it seems like I'm all over the place with all the conflicting advice.
Am going to call my natural medicine doctor now.Then have a hot bath.

Thanks again everyone. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hello Sunflower:

Good to hear you are feeling better. Yes, it can be a long, lonely road with mercury poisoning, but I just wanted to say that it can get better. I was real sick for quite a while, and now 16 months after removal, I feel and function way better than I was. Still not top notch, but getting there.

Hang in there, and in time, you may feel great.

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/twothumbsup.gif" alt="" />

TW

Thanks Tumbleweed,
It's great you are feeling much better.
I'd love to hear someone on here say they do feel topnotch,
I want to be able to say someday that I feel really wonderful,full of energy,
like we all deserve!

Why would you stay away from dandelion? It's one of, if not the very best thing for helping push toxins out of your liver and kidneys. You can use lemon juice instead of vinegar for your dressings. I grew up eating dandelion salad, it was a common item in our house. An old-time peasant cure-all.

I need to go pick some myself. Later this week..

I read somewhere that N-acetyl Cysteine can cause heart problems, i stopped using it too.

Hi Sunflower
I'm glad to hear you are feling a lttle better. I have those rough patches too. It really sucks. I can't handle alot of vit c...my body just won't take it . I take 2500 mg a day and if I try to push it up I feel really bad.
Also i can't take dandelion or milk thissle , just makes me feel real bad. I tried some recently and it put me down for about 3 days. Don't know why maybe an allergy to it. I have always been allergic to wildflowers. If they are in the house for more than an hour I clog up sneezing , coughing ...well it's just not worth it ! well Take Care and my prayers are with ya!!! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/yourmedicine.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/flower4u.gif" alt="" />

Posted a few days ago,never really recovered since the previous post.aching body,dragging myself around the last 3 days ,well the week really ,with one ok day in between,by ok I mean,I had some relief from symptoms for part of that day.
My body is heavy &tired all the time,I was up in the early hours from 2am till around 6 with diarhoeaa again(had this Tuesday too)Had a bit of a panic during these hours,my back was sore &was so freaked out by the symptoms.(freak out possibly made worse by the big full moon)my heart was racing,managed to calm myself with sips of lukewarm camomile tea&rescue remedy.And stayed in bed resting for the afternoon,but just feels like chronic fatigue,with achy back &limbs.Have not left the house this week except for 2 10minute walks,&was crawling along,just feel like hibernating for the winter.in fact that is what i might do.
I'll have to change my name on here.It's too cheerful for me right now <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/baghead.gif" alt="" />

Sunflower, these symptoms sound definitely like candida; racing heart, diarrhoea, feeling slightly panicky and dizziness. The only thing I found to help was to stop taking any supplements, when I got these peak symptoms. Also anti-candida diet is a must, you should eat no sugar and yeast at all, sugar is bad for adrenals. Then you should sleep a lot (at least 9-10 hours per day) that helps with adrenal fatigue.

Thanks pgm, <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/daisiesforyou.gif" alt="" />
I suspect it is candida,I have an almost anti-candida diet but dried fruit &lots apples are the possible culprits,I've had alot of these over last 2 weeks.
And I started the grapefruitseed extract,maybe it's the die off
I was experiencing.It's powerful stuff.
As for sleep,my body is demanding lots of sleep,Yesterday(Sunday)I woke up at 3pm!!I thought it was around 9am.
As for supplements,I cut down &stopped my detox for a few days.This afternoon was much better again.
I would LOVE to be better soon&do all the things I feel I'm missing out on every day. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/goingnowherefast.gif" alt="" />

Hi Sunflower, just reading through these posts and to let you know that my memories of my mercury poisoning were just rotten. From the final removal, to the dumping of the stored mercury to the ongoing up and down constant fluctuation of symptoms. A feeling of being totally filled up with poison to where I felt the dam would burst and so it would in floods of tears, saliva, mucous and my face would swell from all the pressure of the toxins attempting to come out of me.

When this would go on sometimes for hours, it would then settle and I'd have a momentary sense of slight improvement after it, but then gradually the stored mercury would dump some more and on it went. I had this go on for years. I thought it would never end.

This detox is usually never smooth, never pleasant and can feel that you are not gaining any ground. The depression can be extreme, the brain fog, the anxiety and on top of this, as you know candida itself takes advantage in this situation, overgrows and causes many of the same symptoms and just simply confuses things further and adds its own horrible burden.

Some find the candida diet can help some symptoms, but it must be followed strictly or you can relapse (this depends on whether candida is a big issue though). If in fact it's not, it may not matter what you do. If it's pure utter toxicity, you may find the diet does not seem to help much, but going off it unfortunately can still make a bad situation worse (at least in my case). It depends what kind of relief you gain if you try the diet, but it's wise to give it a few weeks with no cheats before you ditch it in disgust. It's not easy either. But it's just simply a healthy way of eating anyway, so is good for anybody.

I also found the way my body handled mercury horrific, but the way it would sometimes attempt to detox horrific, and then I'd try and add things to encourage more of this and it was hell on earth. I didn't know what to do, and made myself a misery by forcing the toxins to come into circulation by taking all manner of mobilising agents.

Finally I came across the Andrew Hall Cutler protocol that did seem to have a way of chelating the mercury more evenly and more safely without the wild/dangerous extremes I got with other products. It is not just what you take, but how you take it. Mercury can make you feel you are going insane when it's doing its thing. Either poisoning you just where it is, or when it's moving around.

I dont know if you're interesting in finding out more on the Andy Cutler protocol, but I'd probably recommend this over most other things simply because it's proving to be one of the most popular, most effective and safest ways of removing mercury from the body. Unfortunately there is no magic bullet or fast way through this. Trying to do it quick, only makes a person sicker and then you end up trying to recover from that.

If I had the time all over again? I dont know if I would have wasted my time on the other harsh mobilising agents, which often serve to move mercury into more sensitive areas anyway (one being brain). Some do just great on these things, but for others it's disastrous (like me).

PS, fruit of any kind can feed candida quite nicely (apples included), as can other natural foods like potatoes and rice and gluten grains, milk, cheese, sweet corn, peas/beans etc. I'd be very wary of venturing onto these foods, even though they are healthy and natural, because candida isn't that fussy, it'll feed off sugar/high carbs of any kind. For me, eating any of those things leads to a complete relapse. Not worth it in my opinion, but if your candida isn't that serious? You maybe ok.

Hi Bex,
Thankyou for that long reply.I really appreciate that.
I think I am just in some kind of denial at the moment refusing to believe that now the fillings are all out that I should still be suffering so much,it's so unfair.I'm probably not taking this detox as seriously as I should.I have the Andy Cutler book &have been reading it,read most of it by now. I have been going to a natural medicine clinic &taking glutithione, &
homeoepathic lymph drops.My diet is excellent,but I do indulge in treats such as rice cakes with almond butter,I think the candida likes that,even though my family would laugh at me saying that was a "treat".They eat lots of junk food &I guess I am a health freak.
You said your symptoms were all over the place,mine are too.it's no longer day to day for me ,the symptoms are wide &varied and can last minutes ,hours,it's like I can be a completely different person in the morning,and later I have transformed again.I am so fed up with trying to figure out what is happening this time,or what I may have done/eaten yesterday that may have caused whatever symptoms,playing detective 24/7 .
It's like walking through a minefield trying to avoid toxins of all kinds etc.I am overwhelmed at the moment,probably why I'm not able to take this as seriously as I should.When /if I'm ready I can deal with a bit more

It's not all doom &gloom, the times I do feel good,although rare at the moment,are treasured,I spend them with my son.I feel such an injustice because I cannot be the mother I want to be at the moment.

Are you feeling better these days?

Well the problem is that when you remove your fillings, your body is no longer sitting idle, and letting parasites like candida thrive & multiply in your body. It will attack them until they are gone, and the task is not easy, the candida is a very persistent lot of nasties.
The recovery time is usually a very long one, even for moderate cases like me, it took at least 6-8 months to feel significantly better, and I believe that for me over a year is required to be completely and fully healed. For more difficult cases, 3-4 years is a more realistic time, especially if you started out with a suicide depression.
From what I have seen here and from other places, females have it a harder time than males when recovering, because females appear to blow up their adrenals more easily and they are also more susceptible to candida.

Hi sunflower, you're welcome. Like yourself, when I had the amalgams out, if anything I got worse and I was at my wit's end. Unfortunately getting the amalgams out is only the beginning and this is when the stored mercury can start to shift back out and fill the blood back up.

It is a form of being poisoned all over again, only can feel worse. ONce amalgams are all out, as I've read and I think experienced, the blood stream clears of mercury because suddenly the source of this mercury has been completely or at least "mostly" removed.

Then the storage can begin to shift and you feel absolutely poisoned up to the gills. And this is when your symptoms will be unpredictable and like you said, it's not just a day by day thing, it can be hour by hour. That describes me completely. My moods, feelings, behaviours, everything could change during the course of a day.

I believe that people like us who get poisoned by our amalgams, tend to hang onto mercury, rather than readily eliminate it (no kidding I guess). So when our body's have no more intake from amalgams, it's like agony putting up with the bits that start dumping back out.

You, like me and others, have to put up with literally having to become almost overly health conscious because we know what happens when we put a foot wrong. Not that we feel ok the rest of the time, but slipping up on diet seems to make a bad situation even worse (if that's possible).

I too get fed up and watch others eat what the heck they want and I feel like tearing my hair out. Does me no good, so you must tell yourself that you have to treat yourself like delicate china and continue to eat the right way and support your already burdened body. NOt easy and I fail many times, but I have to keep going.

I too ate rice cakes yesterday (sour cream and chives flavoured) and relapsed just from that. I mean honestly, that's all it took. Potatoe chips are another one.

I have Andy's book as well, and I think he has a very logical and wise approach to mercury chelation. For me, when I was mercury toxic, his way seemed at least to me, to be the only way I could eventually go. Anything else would put me into a state of almost insanity because of the symptoms. His was still difficult because moving mercury is never easy, but had some control and seemed to help get me detoxed eventually.

I would not use straight glutathione, Andy advises against this because it can make people feel worse. It is better to take things that raise the glutathione levels naturally, not only is this safer but it's far more effective. E.g. vitamin C, selenium, (maybe undenatured whey if tolerated) milk thistle, etc.

It's the same with many sulfur amino acids, they can make a mercury toxic person worse because they mobilise too much, but dont really get much of it (if any) out. Taking things like cysteine, methionine, glutathioine, etc in supplement form can make you feel a lot worse (does to me). Some do fine, so sometimes you have to experiement a bit.

I am feeling very ill and toxic lately due to smoking cigarettes many months ago. I cannot detox properly because of my condition (viral related) and my tendency to hang onto toxins anyway. Both together and it's disastrous. So here's me STILL trying to eliminate the cigarette toxins. I can actually feel it when I start crying or trying to exercise, I can taste metals/chemicals. But most of it stays in me. Eating well is essential, I cannot afford to cheat.

You sound so much like me it's eerie. You get to a point of being so desperate to feel some remote sense of well being or control of symptoms, that you think "what the heck did I do wrong yesterday? what did I eat? maybe it was this? maybe I should stop eating that.... or was it this?" and on it goes.

The only reason this is happening is you and myself are simply so toxic, that the body is overburdened already and can react to just about anything. As yeast thrives already in a toxic environment, that too will flare up, either when it's feeding or when it's dying off a bit. Half the time you dont know which is which.

I admire anybody going through this that has a family to take care of at the sametime. I dont think I could do it. You should not feel guilty at not being able to be super mum with this stuff inside you. You can't. Kids are amazing resiliant, we get more upset about ourselves than they do I think.

I too was in that deep dark hole where every food is an every day battle. I was what is called a “Universal Reactor” which meant virtually everything I ate caused me a mass of nightmare symptoms lasting 5-10 days recovery time. 1 day of feeling ok, then some other toxin/food/chemical started in whole vicious circle going for another 5-10 days of hell. Drastically under weight, with massive mal-absorption, the vitamins and mineral supplements made no difference because I was not digesting anything. Perpetual vicious circle nightmare. For 4 months I could only eat salad for breakfast lunch and dinner and my health continued to dive-bomb. Even then I had to exclude the sulphur foods, which is basically excludes all green veg. A total funking ‘mare.

But…………

But, but, but…..

I never gave up. I continued removing toxins from my life. Foods. House chemicals. Toiletries, together with much body cleansing. I tried everthing under the sun. Everything I read I tried. Everything hinted at i tried. Eventually I was so desperate I had to think laterally and try some crazy desperate stuff, just on the off-chance it might work.

And eventually I succeeded. Eventually I broke-out of the vicious circle. Eventually I forced my way above my toxic limit. I removed so many toxins that finally my body was able to start healing.

When it happened it was an overnight change. One moment I was funked and nose-diving, the next….boom…..i was out the other side and healing. Difference was like night and day.

That was a joyous realisation that I had turned the corner.

I have fallen a long way down, so I have along way to climb back up, so progress will be slow. I have many backward steps, but more forward steps to counter act the backward ones now.

If I can do it, anyone can, you just need to keep removing toxins from your environment/life/body…eventually you will find your way above your toxic limit and healing will begin.

Hi Sunshine, I agree totally. IT's ongoing and a battle to find ways to reduce overall toxic load by attacking each invidual problem or controlling it at least. Good on you for doing all that. Some People see some of this as fanatacism, but thing is, if you dont do it, you remain a complete invalid or moreso.

I'd never have done this until I was almost forced to do it by being so ill and those that scoff may find themselves in a similar situation oneday. You never think you'd go to these lengths until your health falls apart.

pgm,Bex,Sunshine,
Thanks for all the messages.I just feel so lonely and desperate at the moment,I am sitting here crying,I am so moved by your message,I feel like you completely understand.
Bex
You gave up cigarettes,well done,this is not easy to do.
I used to smoke alot.I started at age 14 &quit age 21,such crucial years,it absolutely disgusts me now to think of this. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/oldsmoker.gif" alt="" />
I smoked my last one exactly 7 years ago,at that point I smoked 20+ a day.And giving up was 1 of the most difficult things I've ever done,I got very sick for months on end.
probably still suffering some effects,but I've heard it said it takes 7 years to repair all the body tissue,that might be for someone who has no additional body work to do...
What a lethal cocktail I gave my precious body during those important developmental years.I probably deserve every minute that I suffer.
Lately I just reached a point were I'm so overwhelmed,I know I mentioned this before.I really have been working overtime on my health 24/7 for the past 5 years or so.
I am so paranoid lately,Ifeel going crazy. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/unsure.gif" alt="" />
I am trying to arrange to get more hair tests done it's been a few years,I really want to see whats going on with metals,minerals,hormones too,A saliva test for the hormones.

Bex, as for taking care of my son,I've been so preoccupied with symptoms I have not been as great a mam as I would like,so far from it.I feel so impatient to be well enough to do stuff like take him to the park,arrange to have a friend over,I have not been able for this in months&months.He hardly ever complains &is so patient mostly,this upsets me even more.
He is older beyond his years,if you know what I mean.

Thank you all for the help,reassurance,advice,I appreciate this so much,you've no idea how much.

Andrew Cutlers' book is just amazing.The symptoms he describes are completely accurate.I wish I could get everyone I know or who cares for me to read this or at least take a look,so far no one will, To see all this in print may help them to take this more seriously.
I feel so paranoid like people just think,here she comes the one who had" the nervous breakdown" or whos "depressed"
"lazy".I am going to do a survey of the people I know and ask them what they actually think is wrong with me because I would say only about 2 of them know the others would say the problems i just mentioned.
so sorry for rambling again.am so lonely.
Thanks guys. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hangingonanlimb.gif" alt="" />

I gave up smoking 9 years, 10 months, 2 days, 15 hours and 51 minutes ago. It remains the most difficult thing I have even done. I say this even after all the trouble I’m going through these last 5 years. I have the utmost respect for anyone who can be bothered look after themselves by giving up this most difficult of vices. Respect.

Glad u enjoying Andy’s book. It is amazing. It does describe me perfectly too. I too want everyone to read it as well, but ……thats tricky.

Lonely? They only place I can talk about my troubles is here. Muggles just don’t get it, and they never will….

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hehehe.gif" alt="" />Muggles.I hear ya.

was a bit extra tricky cos I gave up cannabis also a daily (other "recreational"drugs not daily)habit for years&years I often wonder is this why I feel paranoid&anxious at times,stopped drinking alcohol and came off the contraceptive pill(which I had most stupidly,ignorantly taken for a year)
I did cold turkey from all this and remember being awake hallucinating for nights on end for the first while.

Truly frightening stuff. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/scream.gif" alt="" />

I am so gratefull for this forum,it is a lifesaver to talk to people who understand.

Muggles…. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Yup, I had to give up pot too. A good 10 years I smoked that. For most of that it was an everyday habit. Been off that for 2 years now. I was forced to give that up as it just wasn’t helping……after giving up I became totally intolerant to it. One J and I was sick for weeks afterwards….i could never figure out why? Now I know why.

I always liked the paranoia. I liked the way it would creep up on me and suddenly I will be scared witless over some nothing, then I’d realise it was just the J and ……enjoy the ride…..happy dayz…I miss them.

Yup, this place is a life saver.

HI Sunflower, this is where I find this rewarding, when I know that I can share something I've gone through and someone else can relate exactly to it and hope that it can somehow make them feel less "alone". I've found this myself by others on here.

I was never a "smoker" per se. But on the rare occassion, I used to have one or two with a friend and that was it. Or I'd go silly and have a binge smoke in a day and then not touch them for ages.

Now, once I got away with this with little symptoms, but of course, doing that this time around was disastrous. And though I dont smoke any other time, one binge has pretty much left the toxins in me and I simply continued to feel ill day after day after day and still am to this day. Like one dentist said after testing me, that I have a big problem wtih holding onto toxins and not letting go. When my body attempts to try and eliminate, it cannot seem to do so normally and goes into some kind of agony and I'll end up crying and salivating instead. So it's the only way it can attempt to rid itself, but this takes many months or more.

I have to try and accept that the added immune problem from the virus which is pretty severe, has made this tendency far worse and of course weakened me at the sametime. I have to learn to live around that and be moderate, but my nature has always been "all or nothing". i'm trying to change that part of me and apply self discipline. Not easy, but I have no choice unless I want to be worse off than I am normally.

Yes, I can only sympathise over how you feel as a Mum. Having not been one myself, I cannot empathise, but I have had "touches" of what i might be like when I am around my neice and nephew and when I am unwell, I am quite awful. I get very impatient, very tired and grumpy, very boring, no motivation and have no basic interest in them or to even have fun. And I feel awful inside, but I cannot seem to feel any other way. Occassionally it lifts and I have fun with them, but that is rare. I'm sure they must think i'm the grumpy auntie, but I think they know I"m not well.

So to be a Mum? I cannot imagine. I'd be very very difficult to live with for any child. I don't think you should be too hard on yourself with this sickness, it is volatile and can turn you into something you are not. Your son may be older than his years, but my brother was too (from continual sickness). He had brain operations in his youth, all through his childhood and then developed seizures from the scar tissue in the brain and now he's on medication for that.

He was older than his years then too, but weirdly enough it kind of turned around and when he became a young adult, he kind of when the other way!!!

I hope your son can understand that his Mum has a volatile toxic illness that can cause her to feel like this and act like that.

Like yourself, the Andy Cutler book? I wanted other people to read it and understand my illness more and pick up stuff from it and I dont think anybody did..... They didn't seem interested. I think my Mother was more, but nobody else wanted to read about it.

Good on you for giving up the cigarette habit! Not easy and apparently it is as addictive as cocaine if i'm not mistaken. My Mother too gave up many years ago, she had to, the effects from it were becoming intolerable and she had chest pains, coughing, all sorts of symptoms and giving up got rid of them. Same with my father, he developed a persistant problem in his throat and constant coughing and gave up and it went away.

I haven't seen good things from smokers in my family for the most part, though some seem to get away with it (at least for now).

Mercury gives the impression of mental illness many times as it did with me, but it is very much physical. It just impacts the brain like any other organ. Messes up the chemicals and causes weird thinking patterns and behaviours. anger, passiveness, no motivation, anxiety, abnormal fears, and the stuff you mentioned as well and many more. I know of a guy that works in the natural health field that told me he knew a nurse who worked in an Australian mental hospital and she admitted to him privately that they KNEW there were people in there with mercury poisoning, but didn't know how to treat them or what to do with them, so they'd simply drug them. Must have been something about them that gave it away. Plus she was trained to do her job and get on with it.

Makes me wonder when I consider how close I have been many times at being put away myself because of these symptoms...