yes ,you are in a awkward position ,the only other thing that I would suggest is to come straight out and say NO !!!!!, you will just have to be firm on the issue , after all they are not in your shoes and do not know what hell they are putting you throught at these events , what is the worst that they will do to you compared to the hell that you have to endure for sometime after these events ,and if your wife really is sympathetic to your illness , she will understand , if not you may have to find ANOTHER WIFE THAT WILL ,there are times when you have to be selfish and this is one of those times ( don't back down) they will never understand what you are going through unless they are mercury poisoned too so don't expect them to ( It's time to be a mean bastard )