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Women Explained

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed,
Observing his wife turning back
And forth, looking at herself in the mirror.

Since her birthday was not far off, he asked
What she'd like to have for her Birthday.

I'd like to be six again, she replied, still
Looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early,
Made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms,
And then took her to Six Flags
Theme park. What a day ! He put her on every
Ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear,
The Screaming Monster Roller Coaster... Everything
There was. Five hours Later they staggered out
Of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her
Stomach felt upside down.

He then took her to a McDonald's where he
Ordered her a Happy Meal with
Extra fries and a chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop,
And her favorite candy,
M&M's. What a fabulous adventure ! Finally she
Wobbled home with her
Husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and
Lovingly asked, Well Dear,
What was it like being six again ??

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression
Suddenly changed.

I meant my Dress Size, you dummy !!

The moral of the story: Even when a man is
Listening, he is going to get it wrong.

SEND THIS TO WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH..... AND TO
MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT...((( Smiles )))

YEP! That picture says a thousand words, indeed!
Do you know it has been scientifically proven that a man can only think from one side of his brain at a time?
Whereas we women, think from both sides!!! You guys just don't know how fortunate you truly are. Thusly, women are often called 'scatter brained'. Ever wonder why? Ha! Ha! Ha!
Thanks, Russ! You're a real peach! (that's a compliment) Ha! Ha!
~~~~
Lynn, that joke was hilarious, indeed! Thanks girl! I needed a good laugh! Blessings to all! Abishag <><

What you wrote is so true .... (( Smiles ))
Women do need all sides going just to multitask...
Just in raising children within itself can make ones brain scatter in all different directions...
But we love our mothers right....
I like this one too....

On Being A Mother..

both men & women, sons & daughters -
need to read this)

BEING A MOTHER...

After 17 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to
take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She
said, 'I love you, but I know this other woman loves
you and would love to spend some time with you.'
* * *
The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit
was my MOTHER, who has been alone for 20 years,
but the demands of my work and my two boys had
made it possible to visit her only occasionally.
* * *
That night I called to invite her to go out for
dinner and a movie.
* * *
'What's wrong, aren't you well,' she asked?
* * *
My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a
late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign
of bad news.
* * *
'I thought it would be pleasant to spend some
time with you,' I responded. 'Just the two of us.'
She thought about it for a moment, and then said,
'I would like that very much.'
* * *
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick
her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her
house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous
about our date. She waited in the door. She had curled her hair and was wearing the
dress that she had worn to celebrate her last
birthday on November 19th.
* * *
She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an
angel's. 'I told my friends that I was going to go
out with my son, and they were impressed,' she said,
as she got into that new white van. 'They can't wait to hear about our date'.
* * *
We went to a restaurant that, although not
elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my
arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat
down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only
read large print. Half way through the entries, I
lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at
me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. 'It was I
who used to have to read the menu when you were
small,' she said. 'Then it's time that you relax and
let me return the favor,' I responded.
* * *
During the dinner, we had an agreeable
conversation- -nothing extraordinary but catching up
on recent events of each other's life. We talked so
much that we missed the movie.
* * *
As we arrived at her house later, she said,
'I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me
invite you.' I agreed.
* * *
'How was your dinner date ?'
asked my wife when I got home.
'Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined,'
I answered.
* * *
A few days later, my mother died of a massive
heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't
have a chance to do anything for her.
* * *
Some time later, I received an envelope with a
copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place
mother and I had dined. An attached note said: 'I
paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I
could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two
plates - one for you and the other for your wife.
You will never know what that night meant for me.

I love you, son.'
* * *
At that moment, I understood the importance of
saying in time: 'I LOVE YOU' and to give our loved
ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is
more important than your family. Give them the time
they deserve, because these things cannot be put off
till 'some other time.'
* * *
Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back
to normal after you've had a baby.... somebody
doesn't know that once you're a mother,
'normal' is history.
* * *
Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by
instinct . somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.
* * *
Somebody said being a mother is boring .
somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.
Somebody said if you're a'good' mother,
your child will 'turn out good'....
somebody thinks a child comes with
directions and a guarantee.
* * *
Somebody said you don't need an education to be a
mother.... somebody never helped a fourth grader
with his math.
* * *
Somebody said you can't love the second child as
much as you love the first .... somebody doesn't
have two children.
* * *
Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother
is labor and delivery....
somebody never watched her 'baby' get on the bus
for the first day of kindergarten ...
or on a plane headed for military 'boot camp.'
* * *
Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her
child gets married....somebody doesn't know that
marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a
mother's heartstrings.
* * *
Somebody said a mother's job is done when
her last child leaves home....

somebody never had grandchildren.
* * *
Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so
you don't need to tell her....

somebody isn't a mother.

Pass this along to all the 'mothers' in your life
and to everyone who ever had a mother. This isn't
just about being a mother; it's about appreciating
the people in your life while you have them....no
matter who that person is.