The last few days I hve been sleeping all day and most of the night, no matter how hard I try to stay awake during the day I'm awake for about half an hour and then fall asleep again, i feel almost like i' m in a semi coma. Tracy

let's just finish this off together tracy. fuc*king life's not worth the suffering.

PLEASE READ: it's NOT a SUICIDE PACT NOR ENCOURAGEMENT. IT WASN'T MEANT TO BE AT LEAST. Would have erased it , if it wasn't for the following discussion it has brought up. I'm writing this a day later.

Too true mate I agree I know what you mean Ive had enough Tomorrow is my final day too much love you Tracy xsxxxxxxx

First, I'd like to say that I feel very badly for you both. Obviously your suffering is extreme and it is unfair.

I would also like to say that it is really difficult to keep reading all of these posts about suicide. Whether your posts are merely to vent, or whether you are making threats of suicide or you are fantasizing about it -- I wouldn't presume. I do know that there are so many people who read this board who are suffering and it really is difficult to keep reading these suicide messages.

I am no stranger to depression so I would not dream of telling someone who is suffering to "snap out of it." But I would like to suggest that you might want to bear in mind the affect that your suicide posts might have on others who frequent this board.

Many are suffering. Many have been poisoned. Many are trying to find answers. Many are depressed. Many have felt suicidal at times because of the mercury poisoning. Many are sick with myriad illnesses as a result of mercury poisoning. Many are leading a torturous existence through no fault of their own.

Yet, you don't see all of them venting about suicide, threatening suicide or fantasizing about suicide in messages they have posted here.

If you're just letting off steam, perhaps it would be appropriate for you to indicate that's what you're doing. Or if you two (i.e., jinx and Tracy) feel better about things by "making suicide pacts" like you have in your messages above, perhaps it would be better to do that with personal messages.

"Yet, you don't see all of them venting about suicide,
threatening suicide or fantasizing about suicide in messages they have posted here."

Maybe they're not suffering as much as we. simple as that. or maybe our tolerance point is lower... yet I will tell you I have restrained myself in the past from such mesages for reasons you speak of.. that was when things were still bearable.. time comes when they're not anymore... and you want to scream as much as you can. try to understand that and no mean to belittle your own suffering but obviously you haven't been there.

I think that is an exceedingly presumptuous statement. There isn't a soul on this planet who hasn't suffered in one form or another. Among mercury poisoned people, you will find many who might probably have it worse than you and Tracy.

I really don't want to debate the issue of "who has it the worst." That is a debate and contest that will have no winner.

All I ask is that you try and consider the affect your suicidal posts have on others. There have been many posts on this topic by you two.

DONT LIKE DONT READ IT! YOU DONT KNOW US JINX CAN PUT WHAT HE LIKES AND ILL ANSWER HOW I FEEL. MOST TIMES WE PRIVATE POST EACH OTHER SOMETIMES WE VENT, OTHERS READ AND TRY AND GIVE US COMFORT OR SOLUTION, YOU YOU JUST ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE COWARDLY ANONS, DRAG PEOPLE DOWN EVEN MORE. MANY POSTS ON THIS TOPIC BY US TWO, WHO ARE YOU THE FORUM POLICE! ALSO YOU NOTHING OF MIKES AND MY PERSONAL PROBLEMS. IF VENTING HELPS US SHO ARE YOU TO TELL US WHAT TO DO . OH FORGOT YOUR ANON SUPRISE SUPRISE

To JInx and Tracy, i dont mind you venting, this illness does all sorts to people, ive had such suicidal thoughts that i couldnt talk to anyone, look at them, everything around me seemed like it was from another planet, i just didnt belong here, i wanted out,and i nearly did it a few times, the suffering was unbearable, i was so torn between life and death, i just knocked myself out with sleeping tablets and hoped i would wake up without these thoughts.
so i understand, but i dont want you to go, what would i do without you two, i love you both so much!
Hugs Dawn. xx

Thanks Dawn had the two most dreadful days. I too feel like my brain is finally shutting down. Nothing helps. Feel so bad dont know what to do. Love Tracy x

tracy, are you going to try T3, it helped me so much honestly!

I think there is a difference between venting - which both of you do a lot of and I don't have a problem with that - and making a suicide pact on a public forum, which whether you mean it or not is an extremely irresponsible thing to do.

You've lost any sympathy I previously had for either of you.

Tracy don't forget that you are also having withdrawal problems. Have you talked about this recently on your support forum, have they given you any advice?

dear anon, that can be the nature of this illness if your seriously poisoned, i have been there, i told my partner to kill me last year, i just wanted out. there are different levels of toxicity, i for one know how desperate you can get, we are all in this together.

I was the original "Anon" on this thread who posted the first two Anon messages.

All I know about Jinx and Tracy is what they have chosen to share with us via their public posts. Believe me, I've read the posts -- I've been reading this Forum for a year and a half. I am also a registered contributor. I elected NOT to sign on using my username because of the expected backlash from jinx and Tracy -- two people whom I happen to care about.

I am not the enemy here. I'm also a sufferer. As I said, I'm personally familiar with depression and I've also had thoughts of wanting to end it all. But I stuck it out -- I guess out of sheer stubborness on my part and my personal faith.

I am deeply troubled by two registered and regular users making a public Suicide Pact on this Forum.

I understand how sick mercury makes people. As I said, I've been there. The mercury poisoning that has attacked us is an explanation for our illnesses. But I don't think it should be used as an excuse for bad or irresponsible behavior (sorry, I just can't think of how else to categorize your Suicide Pact and Suicide Talk). Think about it, there IS a difference between an explanation and an excuse.

Even in the midst of what seems like sheer Hell, we have to attempt to "do the right thing." That is, we really shouldn't go around killing ourselves or each other (even though we might feel like it because of mercury madness). Mercury poisoning is an Explanation NOT an Excuse.

Although the metal poisoning makes you feel like killing, it doesn't give you an excuse to go around doing it.

As the other Anon said here -- venting is one thing but making Suicide Pacts is another.

Anyway, that's just my 2 cents. I realize many of you will feel what I've posted isn't even worth 2 cents. So be it.

Again, I just wanted to ask whether jinx and Tracy could possibly think about how their posts in this thread might affect others.

Because bottom line -- the way I see it from my chair here -- Jinx and Tracy almost seemed like they were not only commisserating with each other -- but were actually Encouraging and Goading each other to commit suicide. I have a real problem with that!

"As I said, I'm personally familiar with depression and I've also had thoughts of wanting to end it all. But I stuck it out -- I guess out of sheer stubborness on my part and my personal faith. "

guess what anon? don't assume I dont have personal faith of mine , cause I do, or should I say used. But that's the thing with some people and this illness, it's not just depression , itr's progressive dementia where you forget who you were, you lose your identity and have ***no access*** to all the things - faith etc - that MADE YOU YOU. That's how evil this illness can get with some people. So believe If I was in a better shape like, say a year ago, hell even 2 months ago I wold agree with you, but each day fopr me is continous brain shutdown and regression of my personality and intellect, so no it's not as clear cut as you say, I wasn't even remotely aware that it might affect other people, I was just NOT AWARE of things. that's what this thing has done to my intellect. this thing destroys dignity by taking away your personality so dont, makes u unable to understand the higher meanings

don't assume that every mercury suffering is the same even though it's the same problem. it's not, and I say that not meaning to bellittle anybody's sufefring. It's just how it is , some people get it more , some get it less. Tracy and I happen to have got a lot more of it than (it would seem) an average mercury sufferer, hence constant venting and whining.
so before you go on judging others, just perhaps think that one's level of venting on this board is proportional measurement of their suffering. and that's the only rule that applies here - it's insulting to think we are irresponsible people who are making an excuse out of mercury poisoning. Well, perhaps unless you're severe;y mentallyn ill because of it, and are NOT YOURSELF anymore.

believe me, i'd like to be the one on your side, giving rational advice to others - cause that would be consistant with my real personality. but this illness pushes you over the edge. if u haven't been there- consider yourself lucky.

and get over the Suicide Pact. it was just sharing thoughts. i already regret i wrote it. believe me anon, with this level of toxicity and brain function the last thing you think when writing a post is how that will sound to others. sorry i ever wrote it.

and thank you for caring about us - I really believe you do and are just trying to help.

jinx, I made no judgments against you regarding your faith -- where in my posts did I ever mention YOUR faith? I only mentioned MY faith and I didn't even elaborate on it. So please don't jump to conclusions.

My entire premise for posting what I have so far has already been shared by me. I didn't like to see posts being made where Forum members (i.e., you) were encouraging other members (i.e., Tracy) to commit suicide.

And who knows who else might be reading these posts and might themselves feel as though they are on the brink so-to-speak? If they are in a similar situation as you and feeling a loss of reality or "dementia" as you describe, your post might be all that they need to complete the deed and do themselves in.

I also made no assumptions about the collective nature of mercury poisoning as it affects people. Where did I made the assumption that mercury suffering is the same for everyone?

We are all unique. I made broad descriptions of how some of us are affected by it -- whether it was depression, multiple illnesses, or whatever. And I DID say that there are plenty (and I DO mean plenty) of people who are mercury poisoned and feeling depressed and suicidal and they even read and contribute to this board. And they are not making public threats of suicide nor are they encouraging others to commit suicide.

What makes you and Tracy unique in this manner and different from the others? What is causing you and Tracy to continue as you have done for many months to post threats or fantasies or vent or whatever about suicide? Who knows? I wouldn't dare say that it is because you and she are suffering more than anyone else here. Nor would I dare say that it is because you two are the only mercury sufferers who are feeling depressed or would like to end it all. I do know that I have read your posts and Tracy's for as long as you two have been members here and I read your posts with sadness and wish things would change for you both.

So I will make this assumption -- and I will make it without apology -- anyone who is mercury poisoned has probably gone through a personal hell like no other. For any one of us to sit back and declare that our own personal hell is worse than another person's is the heighth of arrogance and selfishness.

So if you go back and read what I wrote you will see that I did not place all aspects of mercury poisoning and how it affects individuals in one basket by saying we are all the same.

What I DID say, was that those of us who are mercury poisoned still have to try to "do the right thing." That means not killing ourselves or another person -- it also includes not encouraging another person to kill themself.

It's this simple . . . Don't encourage another person to kill him or herself.

So basically jinx, you can say pretty much whatever you want and just blame it on the illness? Sorry kiddo, there has to be some sort of line to steep from
I usually restrain myself from your threads, and since most suicide threads are cries for help/attention/venting I'll overlook it, just get some sense of control. You may give ideas to other people on the same boat, and believe me you are not the only one.
You obviously can write well thought posts, evidenced by the end of this thread, just edit delete and think before you post

Dawn and Kriminal, I agree with you. And Dawn, what you say on this forum is VERY valuable, you are an important member here and you have a lot of wisdom and experience to share.

I was seriously suicidal, myself, several times in the not-too-distant past. What I needed at the time was support and hope. I was very vulnerable. If I'd come onto a forum at that time and read that others were talking about suicide too, I'm not sure how that would have affected me, but I'm sure it wouldn't have been in any positive way.

Let's try to support each other here. There is a lot of suffering and of course it isn't fair, but there can be hope.

Jinx, why don't we talk about some ways forward for you? Your amalgams are gone now, yes, after the removal of some teeth? Have you started chelating yet?

It appears that I have upset a lot of people and I truly apologise for that. I don't know what happened to me yesterday, but I truly felt pretty much bonkers. I couldn't even remember what flies were callled and called them waspflees. Anyway, sorry if I upset people, but I don't think Jinx and I have been making suicide pacts for months, not that I'm aware of anyway! But I have to say seem to be getting aware of less and less. Sorry, Sorry Sorry. Tracy

Dear Linda you have been incredibly supportive to me about the withdrawal, I am reluctant to talk about it on the forum, because I know it sounds silly , but I feel ashamed. I was doing really well and feeling happier and coping much better initially, but over the last few days things just seem to have got worse. I know I didn't put myself on the medication and had no information given to me at the time, but it still makes you feel ashamed. My anxiety has rocketed and things have come back that had gone. I continuously lose my balance and feel so tired all the time. I'm still grieving for my sister and hate to mention these things, because I know everyone on here has so much to deal with. I never mean to upset anyone, but am also getting uncontrollable anger that makes me want to lash out. It's so hard to explain, because I don't want to die, but sometimes I feel I'm such a burden to my family. I do try really hard, no matter how bad I'm feeling the house is always clean and I just remember the person I was 3 years ago and what I had achieved and see myself now as someone entirely different. Every day I say to myself tomorrow I'll try even harder, but I don't feel any strength at the moment to fight. I'm still waiting for my test results, as I explained I'm still not one hundred per cent what's wrong. Maybe the poisoning has caused these symptoms of blood cell changes and B12 not being absorbed, I don't know any more. You know I have a multitude of problems going on and I'm not excusing myself for annoying anyone, but I know I'm not coping at present and feel worthless and I would hate anyone to think I am being self pitying or thinking I have life worse than anyone on here. I feel so ashamed at what Anon said that I would make people feel worse by the things I've posted, that was never and has never been my intention. I just want some normality in my life for my family. Anyway enough said, thankyou for the support you've given me. Sorry if I upset you. Tracy

you said you restrained yourself from such posts in the past beause of personal faith. by that you implied some people have recources to stop themselves from doing such things (posting) and that they should use them. I'm simply telling you, with this illness, some people dont have those resources available for them. but I maybe jumping to conclusions.


you did , by implying that every mercury sufferer should act in the same away as regards posting. Well sure rules apply to everyone, and am not saying they dont apply to me or tracy, just simply saying some people are too sick on the brain to see the rules.

and one more thing - saying that your own suffering is (probably) worse than others is not the same as saying you are a "better" martyr than others nor does it make you "better" in any ways from others. it's just saying there are degrees to mercury poisoning and you probably happen to be getting more of it based on observations of others posts about themsleves. (or the very fact they feel up to post on regular basis). its far from selfishness and arogance or distinguishing.

and for the record: I was NOT encouraging tracy to make a suicide pact. tracy and I have a language of our own, and I know she wouldn't take t that way. I am SORRY it turned out the way it did, but I was NOT AWARE of how it woul sound, I would have changed the post if it wasn't for the following discussion it brought up.

and one more thing anon - you deciding not to post under your regular username is kind of insulting I think.

hi jinx glad to see you posting again : I know that there is nothing anyone can say that can diminish the suffering It is a private hell that you will have to endure ,untill you are cured ,last year I had many of the suicidal thoughts that you are experiencing ,what helped me was when I took a walk though a grave yard and imagined myself in one of those graves (forever) ,it sent a cold chill down my spine and that was when I knew that I had to use every once determination and energy to get through this mercury illness (what ever it takes) .

WISH i HAD THAT FEELING mIKEY, KNOW IT SOUNDS CRAZY BUT MY SUFFERING IS SO IMMENSE AT PRESENT WHEN i SAW MY SISTER IN THE CAHPEL OF REST I PRAYED TO GOD TO JOIN HER. i DONT BELIEVE ANYONE COULD WRITE A POST LI9KE ANON AND BE A S BRAIN DESAD AS SOME OF US. SORRY JUST DONT BUY IT. IF SOMONE HAD TOLD ME 3 YEARS GO I WOULD CNTNPLATE SUICIDE I WOULD HAVE LAUGHRED LOOKED AFTER AGGRESSIVE AND AUTISTI KIDS FOR YEARS HELLO WANT MYN LOIFE BACK SO DOES JINX WE DID NOT ASK FOR THIS CRAP OR WANT IT ANON YOU ARE SO UNSYMPATHETIC U ARE NOT WERTH A REPLY THANKS MIKEY PS BEX PEOPLE HAVE TOLD ME ITWAS U PLEASE TELLME THIS ISNT TRUE YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU I FIND IT HARD TO BELIEVE

Ok, Jinx -- I will concede. You win. You can encourage anyone you wish to commit suicide. Go ahead and speak freely about it, lash out, threaten, fantasize about it to your heart's desire. You don't have to consider another soul on this Forum if you don't want to.

Furthermore, due to what you describe as "being too sick on the brain to see the rules," then I suppose you are free to ignore any sense of right and wrong and not even try to see the "rules" as you call them. The keen sense of right and wrong that ALL of us possess will be for the rest of us to try to navigate because as you say, clearly no one here is as ill as you are -- no one else is suffering as you and Tracy are.

As you regrettably posted in response to Tracy "let's just finish this off together tracy. fuc*king life's not worth the suffering. " . . . .

Well, I hear you in that you say you regret saying that. I sincerely hope you don't follow through with any of the suicidal thoughts.

I also hope that no one else who reads this thread (or any other thread where dreams of suicide are mentioned or encouraged) sees those posts as a form of encouragement to commit suicide.

Peace, my friend.

Tracy and you obviously can make well thought posts and you are not always on hyper cap spam suffering mode, so the least you can do when you are thinking in a concise manner is edit the old posts
People do not need amalgam suffering to blame a scapegoat for EVERY SINGLE ACTION, they have been doing that forever. Just get some sense of responsibility, and as I said if you can't then edit/delete when you are feeling better

Just can't let it go can you, it almost sounds like your pretending to be understanding, but there's a sadistic meaning behind your words. Rules? What the hell is that meant to mean. Have you got a set we have to stick to? Sorry didn't realise. You know it's funny,cos Jinx and I both apologised today, but your the one who wants to continue this and by the way I see your still much more of a coward than us. Anon, I'm sure a lot of people would be interested to know who you are and your set of standards and rules. Go on educate us all, but at least have the bottle to give your name. Backlash from me and Jinx, what a let out.

GOD ANON, have to say you are very unfair and judgemental constantly implying I'm just looking for na excuse for irresponsible behaviour, how dare u to judge me without even being in my position.

and HOW MANY TIMES, do I have to REPAT MYSELF THAT I AM ***SORRY*** FOR THOSE WORDS AND NEVER REALLY MEANT TO ENCOURAGE TRACY, IT WAS MEANT FOR TRACY AND I KNOW SHE WOULD UNDERSTAND IT, IT WAS WRONG TO POST IT IN PUBLIC. DAMN IT GET OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!

kriminal - no, it's not that obvious, can you just BELIEVE me without questioning it?

I'm the other anon - I posted the 3rd message in this thread. Unlike the first anon I'm not a registered poster here, though I have made a few anon posts in the past (always constructive I should add).

Like most of you I'm severely mercury poisoned. One of the reasons I don't register here is because of the seriously dark nature of some of the posts. As Linda pointed out its not the kind of thing you want to read when you are feeling low.

Tracy your post to Linda is *exactly* the kind of post you should be writing. It was sincere, heartfelt and eloquent. Then you revert back to type immediately after Jinx's post.

I can't help thinking that Jinx is a malevolent influence on you, and that perhaps you and Jinx should consider taking a sabbatical from one another. I think you would both be better off not dragging each other down.

"I can't help thinking that Jinx is a malevolent influence on you, and that perhaps you and Jinx should consider taking a sabbatical from one another."

no comment.

Tracy and Jinx, if you need to vent here I don't mind. I know where you're coming from.

Venting is fine. It's the suicide encouragement that I had an issue with. It's just plain wrong to encourage another person to kill.

Tracy and Jinx have apologized for the "suicide pact" posts. So I will assume that they won't be making any more posts like that. I'll assume that they won't be making further posts which could promote suicide or encourage another person who might be feeling low and in the same situation to commit suicide.

Thankyou Aaron as always you are a considerate and true real friend. By the way Anon don't you dare tell Jinx and I what contact we should have. We'll speak whenever we feel like it. You are obviously not in our league of suffering,cos yes sometimes you feel so s***t you can't help but vent whatever you say. Most people understand that. I'm not that pathetic that anyone can influence me, Jinx is a true frien, a real understanding friend and believei it or not, and I'm sure you will choose not, we have actually saved each other and others on the forum from suicide. You are one pathetic coward. Still Anon, only the cowards, who probably feel exactly the same as us , but havn't got the b******s to say it come on as Anon. As I say if your such a tender, caring person, who has everyone on the forums interests at heart admit who you are. Mercury poisoning or vindictive? I wonder. Yes I will apologise to Linda, she rarely judges because she has much more knowle3dge about my life. So don't blame Jinx, you know nothing about him either. Judge and Jury

YOU ARE A PAIN IN THE [censored] ANONYMOUS. HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO SAY WE *****NEVER MEANT*** TO ENCOURAGE ANYONE, IT ALL UNFORTUNETELY TURNED OUT THIS WAY , WHY THE HELL YOU KEEP SAYING LIKE WE ****MEANT*** TO ENCOURAGE OTHER PEOPLE , IT WAS AN EXCHANGE OF THOUGHTS BETWEEN ME AND TRACY THAT TO FULLY UNDERSTAND WHAT WE MEANT YOU'D HAVE TO GO THROUGH ALL OUR PRIVATE POSTS. I WILL REPEAT AGAIN, YOU ARE VERY JUDGEMNETAL, AND ITS ALSO INSULTING YOU ARE A REGISTERED POSTER WHOM PROBABLY BOTH ME AND TRACY REALLY RESPECT, BUT YOU SHOW US SUCH DISRESPECT BY POSTING ANONYMOUSLY.

jinx, sorry I wasn't clear in my post above. I was actually responding to Aaron there - although I realize he wasn't necessarily addressing me. Anyway, that post wasn't directed to you. I acknowledge your apology, mate.

Also, I just noticed that you edited the post where you suggested to Tracy that you both commit suicide. Thank you for that. That took real class in my book and it impressed me.

Its me - the 2nd anon again.

All I can say is that I'm glad I'm not a registered user here. Drag each other down as much as you wish - I won't be here any more to witness it.

Good luck!

Anon,were not children here you know, no-one can encourage me a 43 yr old to commit suicide, you got it wrong.
if i wanted to do it, it would only be because I wanted to.
Jinx and tracy, i know you feel like crap but please dont let people here make you feel worse.
Love you Dawn xx,
P.S the people who cant understand the need to sometimes vent about getting out of the abyss, arnt really that badly poisoned and should think themselves lucky.
Also, how would you feel if jinx or tracy really did it?
show some sympathy, thats whats needed here.

Wow how very condescending of you. Jinx did it cos your geting on his t***ts. Anyway we will be taking a sabbatical. I am going to the Carribean for a year and Jinx is going to the salt mines. Jinx is on his way to a prayer meeting, lets hope GOD FORGIVES HIM FOR LEADING ME ASTRAY. Still won't name yourself. COWARD, COWARD, COWARD COWARD oh and fjogive me for venting that, don't suppose that's in your set of rules

when you're down, the worst thing to do is keep it in to yourself. it may be hard to express those thoughts you express online in real life and sometimes the people that are there with you physically every day just aren't enough. there are more diverse people online that may offer better consolation than anybody else close to home. so idk hopefully one day a poster would make a post that would have a big impact on tracy or jinx or anybody else for the better.

maybe it'd be a good idea to have a subforum for emotional support? those that do not want to deal with emotional blunders just don't have to enter that subforum.

By the way thats obviously not intended at you Dawn, like you as if we could be encouraged by anyone and I totally agree ANON has no idea of the suffering some of us are going through. I wonder if they have a family to look after I would guess not. Still we'll never know will we, maybe you and Jinx and Clare should take a sabbatical from each other cos we are obviously influenced in a very bad way by each other. Amazing isnt it I think it actually takes some guts to post exactly how you feel, especially under your real name. They obviously have a load of time on their hands and think they are far brainier and above us low lifes. Love you as always, Tracy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

DEAR IH8U, USUALLY THE ONES OF US WHO FEEL LIKE THIS JUST PRIVATE POST OR PHONE EACH OTHER. WOW DID WE MAKE A BIG MISTAKE. WHAT REALLY P****S ME OFF IS THESE ANONS WHO COME ON WITH THEIR WHINING AND GROANING AND NEVER HAVE THE GUTS TO ADMIT WHO THEY ARE, JUST JUDGE. THEY PRETEND TO KNOW SO MUCH AND KNOW SO LITTLE. I AM ONLY TOO PLEASED THAT AT LEAST ONE IS GOING. IF THEY HAD THE B***S TO ADMIT WHO THEY ARE MAYBE THEY COULD PRIVATE POST AND UNDERSTAND A BIT MORE, SOME OF US HAVE A LOT MORE THAN POISONING GOING ON, BUT ONLY OUR TRUE FRIENDS WOULD KNOW THAT. i WILL CONTINUE TO VENT ALL I LIKE ,OBVIOUSLY WHEN I RETURN FROM MY SABBATICAL LOL AND WOULD NEVER BE OFFENDED IF ANYONE ELSE DID THE SAME BUT WOULD TRY AND HELP THEM TRACY

<FORM METHOD=POST ACTION="http://herballure.com/ubbthreads/dopoll.php"><INPUT TYPE=HIDDEN NAME="pollname" VALUE="1189708365">
<p>Who here thinks we should allow posts encouraging suicide?
<input type="radio" name="option" value="1" />Yes
<input type="radio" name="option" value="2" />No

Please read the following article from todays BBC news if you think that chatroom discussions can not influence people to commit suicide:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/shropshire/6993095.stm

All right, I think Tracy and Jinx understand the consequences of their posts and they have actually apologised, which is a pretty uncommon thing on forums in my experience. Why don't we leave it at that.

I do want both of you to be well and I hope you will continue to work towards that. I haven't been upset by your posts as such, just concerned about you.

I know how it can feel like everything is piling up on top of you but I would like to suggest that perhaps venting can be counterproductive. It stirs up a lot of energy, overworks the adrenals, and encourages a person to let the emotions take over. Sort of like what happens in fight-or-flight. I know it can be very, very hard; but if you can try to start accepting what is happening to you, and dealing with it, you will find that this in itself helps to make things easier.

Accepting it doesn't mean that it is fair, or that you're happy about it, or that you're not going to do anything about it. But it does mean saying to yourself yes, this is the way it is, and I have to work with that. It's how the people on my withdrawal and recovery list learn to get through withdrawal and also to deal with the damage the drugs have done, which sometimes is permanent. They've taught me that our emotions are there to guide us in very useful ways, but that we are the ones in control of them. They do not have to control us.

Why not try to find one activity you enjoy that you are capable of actually doing at the moment. Or do something to get your mind off your trouobles. Try to calm yourselves down and let the adrenaline subside. Then you can start to think about what you will do next to address the problems you are having.

Hope this helps,
Linda.

What a w*****r you are. Who the hell do you think is gonna reply
to this s**t. Who is encouraging anyone. As I say have the b***s to admit who you are. We are all adults and make our own choices. Seems to me you have the suicide problem if its affetced you so much. Has anyone encouraged you. Take a sabbatical yourself you obviously need it badly. Name yourself coward. At least have the guts to private post us who are suffering not just poisoning but the most horrendous childhoods and other terrible tragedies. You might learn something about our strengths. I cant believe you would expect people to go along with this. You are not poisoned you are sick. Do us all a favour and find another forum where you can be a dictator. Again I say coward , dare you expose yourself I think not Hope you do well with your little survey, why dont you become a market researcher it would fit you well come on big guy come clean let people know who you are and see who thinks your behaviour is acceptable. IDIOT BEYOND BELIEF

Linda, very well said. Thanks for your post, I think it was brilliant.

This has nothing to to with drugs Linda but I personally know I have let people dictate to me all my life how I should think or feel. I think you are a really concerned person, but I know part of my self therapy is to not let people dictate to me any more what I feel or want to say. Jinx and I and a few others know things about our personal lives that we cannot divulge to just anyone. Dont get me wrong Linda I have the greatest admiration for you, I understand some of the suffering you have been through. But there are some things that are so painful in your life, you can only open up to people when you become close. Jinx , Dawn and I have been able to do this and I hope they wont mind me for saying so. It has nothing to do with withdrawal, we all have our own problems and this Mercury issue is just, well the icing on the cake. I find it so sorrowful that someone can be so mean to put on a stupid poll about suicide. I mean come on, where the hell are they coming from. Like Dawn says we are all adults able to make our own choices so whats the point in a stupid poll. You really have to be some weirdo to do that. Let it go, now at this point in my life I dont believe it would be helpful, Ive let so many people walk all over me my whole life and know and been advised, no more stick up for yourself, Nobody has the right to dictate your own feelings. Let this person own up to who they are, Im more than willing to keep this going till I find out. Tracy

FINN I SEE YOUR CHECKING POLL RESULTS . ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU?

Absolutely not Tracy. In fact, today is the 1st time that I have been on this forum since who knows when - maybe a month ago or so.

THEN i APOLOGISE PROFUSELY, SORRY MATE BUT IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY. WHY SHOULD WE BE SPOKEN TO LIKE RETARDS. OK MAYBE WE MADE A MISTAKE BUT A POLL, ISNT THAT TAKING THINGS TOO FAR. SORRY FINN JUST WANT THIS IDIOT TO HAVE THE GUMPTION TO OWN UP. NEVER MET SUCH A COWARD WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF YOUR NEVER GONNA MEET US OR DO YOU THINK YOUR THE ONE WHO IS GONNA END UP LOOKING STUPID I STILL DARE BIG GUY/ GIRL IF YOUR SO CLEVER AND SURE PEOPLE AGREE WITH YOU OWN UP WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO LOSE DIGNITY? AGAIN SORRY FINN LOVE TRACY XX

Tracy, what I said isn't just about drug withdrawal. It's about a person's way of coping with things in life. I was called a "drama queen" when I joined the withdrawal and recovery list. I had to accept that I was rather reactive, and tended to get into panics. And I'm not saying I don't understand why people do this. It is natural, and even programmed into our natures to an extent. But ask yourself: how does it actually help? It's got nothing to do with sharing with people; you can do that in a panic, or calmly, either way you can still get their support. But I have to say, having worked on this myself for a year and a half, I don't miss the drama and I find things tend to work out better without it, and I feel better too. I hope this is understandable; it's hard to explain. The Buddhist practice of mindfulness plays a big part in it. That means accepting what is happening to you in this moment, without judgement or reaction, just experiencing it and letting it ebb and flow through you.

This is just so hard to explain. The main way I've been learning it is through watching how other people deal with their own problems. If they are generally positive and hopeful in spite of them, then I figure I have something to learn from them.

I think I'm gonna sit right next to Linda for a bit -- her posts make me feel so good.

Discipline and self control seems nearly impossible to achieve when emotions are running high and one is ill. Most people who have posted on this thread seem to have tried to keep some sense of decorum or kindness in conflict and disagreement, as Russ aptly calls it. Others, sadly, were unable to do that.

The all caps-yelling-hyper emotion and attack mode is getting tiresome.

Your not getting it Linda I have been advised medically that one of my biggest problems is that I ve always let people dictate to me and control my life and my way to recovery is not to let this happen any more. I have medically been advised to confront people and stop giving into dictatorship.I am perfectly happy with my own perception of things, but have let people dictate to me all my life about feelings and thoughts. No more. I have a very respectable therapist, this has nothing to do with the Mercury poisoning or withdrawal, but a way of becoming stronger. I have worked with disturbed people for most of my life and this moron is definately disturbed. Yes I'm venting, we all need that to survive, otherwise you become a doormat to these dictators. No I will follow my professionals advice and no more will I be told what to think or say. And you Anon have no idea what your talking about. You should have worked in some of the places I have. You cant spend your whole life thinking oh lets all be calm and reasonable, this world isnt like that. Im sure we all wish it was, thats what I once believed or wanted to. The realistic view is it just dont work. Not if you want to survive. I still, although ill care for the most deeply depressed people and believe me its not what they chose they just got dealt lifes reality. It has nothing about attack as far as Im, concerned, but if someone disagrees with me let them post me privately and we'll sort it out. Some don't want to do that, they want to go on and on. Come on a poll? It is not healthy to keep feelings whatever they are bottled up inside, that in itself can cause depression. I was a counsellor, I'm not declaring I have all the answers but just sitting there mildly and keeping emotions in, they will stay there for a long tiome. Tracy

Thanks for turning off the all caps-yelling-hyper emotion typing. Those howlers you've been sending were hurting my eyes.

Peace.

from one anon to another.
why dont you go somewhere else if you dont like this thread, i think you are actu ally enjoying it, are you having a bad day or have you really got nothing else to do. this forum is for people to come together because they are suffering, you dont need to come here, so just go away.
This is tracys thread nit yours, im fed up with your comments, they mean nothing.

Mindfulness doesn't mean you turn yourself into a doormat. It can actually help when you feel you have to confront someone.

Here's a very good book I read about this, if anyone here is interested. It's about time I re-read it myself: Radical Acceptance, Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha by Tara Brach PhD. It can be found here:

UK
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Radical-Acc...ks&qid=1189750476&sr=1-1

US
http://www.amazon.com/Radical-Accep...ks&qid=1189750572&sr=1-1

to dawn : I can't believe that you are 43 years old ,you must be doing all the right things ,you look very young in your photo

I think as long as people are taking about suicide instead of taking action is progress towards healing ,wouldn't you consider this a mild form of therapy for depression ,at my worst it helped me alot just sharing my feeling with others so I didn't feel so alone (misery loves company)

right on Mikey you got it sharing feelings is theraputic, even if some dont like it.

WELL AS LONG AS WE ARE SHARING, I WILL CALL YOU AN EXAGGERATING ATTENTION SEEKING DRAMA QUEEN. IT IS NOT ME TALKING, IT IS MY ILLNESS (I AM DEPRESSED!)
THERE I LET OUT MY FEELINGS, FEELS BETTER AND MORE THERAPEUTIC WHOPS MY CAPS BUTTON IS STUCK

you are not worth a reply, not Mercury poisoned sick! again I say get help you dont belong on this forum. ANON again pathetic loser. You belong on phsychotic forum, take some advice you really desperately need help

HMM Drama Queen again, same ANON. Must learn anew line give yourself away every time. Thats intelligence for you. Feel sorry for you truly do, met people with mental health problems much mentally healthier than you

funny anonymous, at the beginning of our discussion I really thought I' was talking to an adult, mature person, now it turn's out you weren't even worth my time.

Hello Anon, from another Anon - just stumbled upon this forum, and I am appalled at the lack of knowledge displayed by some contributors - namely you. It's OK to express personal opinions, and by the looks of it, this forum thrives on people being able to say what they feel at any particular moment. However, it is important that people are allowed to distinguish between opinion (in this case yours) and fact.
Your statements regarding benzodiazepines are your own personal opinions, and not fact - it is shameful that you have attempted to disguise them as fact.
If you make such bold statements then it is only fair to back them up with the relevant supporting evidence - which you have failed miserably to do.
You have no right to contradict the experiences (of Tracy and others) who obviously have used Benzodiazepines. Their experience and knowledge is worth an awful lot more than your off the cuff remarks.
Calling them "drama queens" says a lot about you - don't stab yourself in the foot my friend - such comments only go to prove how little you know about the subject.
A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

tracy, let go, it's not worth it.

Not me babe wouldn't waste my time on such a loser. Anyway I am pretty good at drama and being equated with the queen aint bad is it mate. Love you as always Tracy xxxxxxxx

Dear Anon hows the poll going, sent it to your MP yet. LOL

Hi everyone,

I'm the original and first Anon who posted in this thread. I just thought I'd say that there obviously seems to be many more Anon's posting on this thread. Don't assume that it is just one person making all the Anon posts.

Not that it really matters, or anyone cares at all, but I consider the entire subject dealt with on this thread. At least as far as what my original concerns were.

Anyway, I just felt like I should say that. I was the one who brought up the concerns about the "suicide encouragement" and the difficulty in seeing what seemed like so many suicide posts over the months.

I think perhaps other people are signing on and trying to goad people on and continue the conversation. Trolling would be a better term I guess?

To Tracy and Jinx, don't take the bait unless you feel like it. And I'm so glad that you both didn't decide to follow through with your plans to make yesterday your last day on earth.

For the record, my post numbers (excluding this one) have been:

#243612
#243614
#243628
#243632
#243664
#243674
#243678

Peace.

we wouldn't have that mess anon if you just posted as yourself, under regular username.

to russ - if you're reading this, please consider it might be time to consider making this forum open (to posting) only for registered users. There's been too much mess with anonymous users recently, and it spoils the great feel of this place.

Jinx, perhaps. But please also consider, that "we wouldn't have this mess" if there hadn't been so very many suicidal posts and encouragement of said suicide over the past months.

If it makes you feel better to place blame on someone else or on the Anons and not take any responsibility in the effort, go ahead and do that.

Somehow people who want to Troll can find a way to do it no matter what -- even when registered users are the norm. So I hardly think that forcing registration for anyone who may want to post would prevent that. Russ set his website and Forums up this way for a reason. Obviously he intended relative "anonymity" to be part of the equation. Although we all know that none of us is really anonymous as Russ can clearly identify all of us by our ISP numbers.

Anyway, it's his place and he's paying the bill for us to post here. And for that I'm grateful. The subject of this thread aside, I actually have been able to learn some valuable information from some of the people who post here over the past year and a half.

Actually Anon just wanted to say Jinx and I have not made suicide pacts for months, so don't know where that came from. Also my partner is an IT expert and Russ may be interested to know that people coming on as Anons and being really insulting, not talking about you by the way, he has tried to ban. Well it dosent work like that because when you turn off your computor, you get a new IP address. Keith will let Russ know this. Peace Tracy P.S. I think you'll find Jinx and I accepted all responsibility to our friends. If people came on under user names we could have serious discussions, not a judgemental accusation.

I think we've had the responsibility thing addressed dont u think?

And one more thing - you're over interpreting the the suicidal posts thing. Just because people say they'd rather die, doesn't mean they're actually saying they will. It's sometimes the toughest yet the most accurate way of saying that this illness pushes you over the edge.
Those suicide threads as u call them are a result of suffering. why shouldn't people write them to help ease their suffering (venting). I think you're blowing this whole thing out of proportion.

The thing I don't understand, is that you (tracy/jynx) can make well thought posts, but it only seems to happen when you are posting in your defense. This leads me to believe that your problems are not as bad as you make it seem when you are spamming the same threads all in caps (never understood this, it's not like we can hear you better in caps)

If you read this thread, where you clearly ENCOURAGED SUICIDE you will notice that you only apologized after hopelessly trying to defend your self-entitled view of suicide because you saw that most people disagreed with you, otherwise you wouldn't have cared. And just because you apologize it is not all great and dandy, I don't even care if you apologize just stop spamming.

You guys keep posting that the anoms are killing the forums, but if you see the quality of your posts lately, you would realize you are crapping the site yourselves

I expect the usual I am sick, I am not accountable for anything I ever do response or the dodging arguments because its anonymous (attack the argument not the person)

you dont need to understand anon, you've just proven again you're a judegemental and unfair person.

just for the record: which anon am I speaking to? (not being cynical, just dont know whom I'm talking to anymore).

At the end of the boy who cried wolf, the wolf does come.

As stated in this thread, there has been many suicides after being encouraged online. Should we just take every single of your posts as venting/not serious then? you keep claiming mercury is destroying you and you are mentally unstable, then you claim it is just venting, implying that you don't really feel so bad. Which one is it?
Your views shows that you are actually not sorry, and you need to mature some more, get some sense of responsibility
We don't have a six sense and magically know which posts are serious and which aren't

Way to help your cause, by arguing your side ( and the name calling)
You don't need to know jinx, you've just proven again you are changing the subject and ignoring the arguments

since when venting is implying that you dont feel so bad? I'd say the more you suffer the more you vent. and sometimes the suffering is so extreme that it approaches a desire to end everything, and that is expressed. And no, you are right you dont have a sixth sense to know where venting ends and real desire is expressed. I'll give it to you. But, whether you believe it or not, I have been in a huge mental confusion for the last months, and am getting constantly worse and often (always really) have difficulty to see when real venting ends and something more serious starts. But with this thread, you brought it to my attention that I maye have crossed the line and i apologized. (a couple of times) And like I said I wasn't aware of it. But that's the state this illness causes in you. if it wasn't for it in the first place I wouldn't be writing all those venting/suicide things. When you're in this state all you think of is to come to the place and say what's on your soul - however brutal it is - because you know people would understand you and not judge you (obviously there are exceptions). And you know what, this is not an excuse, it's THE explanation for my behaviour you spoke of. to know whether sthg's an excuse , you'd have to know exactly my state of mind. You dont, you can only speculate. But you choose to speculate without giving the benefit of doubt (which is a kind of support, which I see in many people around here, that's why I love those people here so much). That's why I call you judgemental (no where near name calling, just stating my opinion based on what you stated yourself).

and you know what, I'm glad you say my posts are well thought, because I NEVER KNOW. It takes huge effort for me to write this in this huge confusion and dementia. But should I chose not to write anything at all and ask for support just because because of the state I'm where I can't always see the rules? You know what, you brought them to my attenion and I'll try to keep them in mind. That is IF I remember them. That is the tragic part about this illness. Part of the venting comes from the frustration that I cannot be a 'normal', productive part of this forum. (and of life of other people).

of course, you will say since I've managed to discuss this thread, than I am able. not really. it takes time and time for me to understand what is written, the same goes for thinking what to write and writing itself. it is huge effort. and you never really know whether what you wrote is what you really wanted to say. you only know it instinctively. it's not ignoring the arguments either. it's being to sick (and also, I'll be honest, sick of you anon, sorry for making it personal, but you made it personal in the frist place) to come here and respond to all of this (thread).
maybe that's not enough for you. call me a weak person.

I'm tired of you anonymous, almost as if you had an agenda to prove how irresponsible, immature etc etc. I am. So excuse me, but I dont want to carry on this discussion with u anymore. Good luck with your mercury battle.

"As stated there have been many suicides after being encouraged". Have there? I only know of one preson who has mentioned about suicides before and not on this thread. Think you just gave away your identity. Your right Jinx, not worth continuing, they'll just go on and on and on. Or is it Anon, Anon, Anon Not anymore you made a big mistake in this post and gave yourself away. I have no doubts now to who you are. What a disapointment and you have no rights to call anyone. Maybe you private post things, think that's any better. Just less guts , no less guilt. You may as welll as come on as yourself, people have already guessed your identity days ago. Very , very sad.

anon,you are totally unfair and have a cold heart and to be honest this forum isnt for you, you have never been poisoned, if you have it wasnt to the extent of some of us because if so then you would have more compassion.
if you were once poisoned and now better, then your bloody SELFISH, you must know some people here are living on the edge,

Cold heart babes, no heart. Must be a robot, no feelings or most selfish b*****d alive. People like you, me, clare, Finn, Nicola, Mikey and Jinx know the truth, sorry if I've missed any true sufferers out. Maybe we should start our own poll. GET RID OF the pretending wasters. Tracy xxxxx Love to all other true sufferers, all the rest be thankful you have a life and get on with it, your boring us all to death as if we havn't got enough to put up with.

i agree Trace!

could it be that when a person gets better after mercury poisoning they go back to their selfish ways.

jinx, while I don't agree with everything you said in your post there, we don't have to agree, do we? Complete agreement is rarely achieved when opinions and feelings enter the equation. You said that it takes alot of effort for you to be able to write posts like that one above. I'm glad you were able to take such time to write it and I was interested to read it.

Hope I don't sound patronizing - that's the last thing I want to do is patronize - but, I think you explained yourself well in that last post.

Tracy, I can see that you are quite literally furious and I'm not gonna sit here and tell you that you haven't got that right. But, I think I agree with that post that Linda made -- perhaps folks could just move forward now? All the negativity can't be good for anyone.

Now that the general issue of this thread has been hashed out ad nauseum and dealt with to a large extent, perhaps the remaining troll posts can be ignored and folks can turn to a more positive effort. Continuing to stir the pot of discontent is not conducive to achieving health, in my opinion.

Let's face it -- we all want to get well! And sharing what works for us and what we're learning is a great tool.

Best regards from the "First Anon" in this thread.

And what about Dawn she feels exactly the same and know wont mind me saying so . Stop dictating we are through with any crap from Anon cowards who won't name themselves. Don't just blame me and Jinx, every real sufferer on here feels the same. Read the posts, understand don't dictate our thoughts or feelings any more. We have rights too, who are you to say what we think or feel. Basically I've had numerous conversations with non- Anons and we've all had enough of your dictatroship.I apologise to you if you do indeed mean well.but you must understand at our frustration at these Anon posts. As I say its not just Dawn, jinx and I. Read Information gap and read general health and information. Come on convincse us these people are poisoned and hoew do they get away with such sadistic crap?

I have been reading this thread for a few days and also am very sick and can relate to tracy and jinx I have had my days of just wishing it were over but deep down I just keep trying. I have even told my family on a few occaisions to please just shoot me! LOL When you are so sick and you don't see much hope it just makes you feel that way and joking about it is much healthier than keeping it inside. I can see where tracy and jinx were coming from, it is one thing to feel like crap but then you have those days that you can't even remember how to get the soap out of the bottle so you can do dishes or how to get to your daughters house, or to your job, etc... I know exactly how they feel. At least they have a place to go to talk about those feelings as I too know how difficult it is to keep on going sick day after sick day. It might be a little easier if you knew what part of you was going to malfunction that day.RIGHT!!!! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Too right Skieslimit as you know I have already private posted you. You are like an honest breath of fresh air. God bless you, us rel concerned will help you all we can Tracy xxx

Well, if memory serves, the first anon did in fact admit to experiencing the same - depression and wanting to end it all or be put out of misery, skie. The subject of the Anon's post was the repeated suicide posts here and the encouragement of it. Over the past months there have been many, many posts where either Tracy or Jinx have been in so much pain that they evidently felt the need to sign on here to say goodbye. Also it was beginning to appear that there was a habit of signing on and posting a pattern of regurgitative posts about suicide and wanting to die. But this thread was the first time that it seemed like they were encouraging each other publicly to accomplish the deed and that's what the issue of concern was from the first anon. While many of the Forum users have gone (or are going) through the same feelings and difficulties, they curiously are not regurgitating the same public posts about suicide. And this is NOT because those people not repeatedly posting those threats are not as sick as Tracy and Jinx. But that's already been discussed, I think.

Tracy I sincerely hope that you can find some answers and remedies for your troubles. Really hope that you can find some good support and a feeling of improvement in your drugs withdrawal group. Being given those prescriptions without being told side effects was a real crime. Also hope you can find some help with the alcohol addiction that you shared. That must really throw a clinker into the equation and make everything seem overwhelming.

And I hope you keep in mind that just because someone doesn't respond to your posts with sympathy and encouragement, that doesn't mean that their contributions to the Forum are not worthwhile.

Just because someone doesn't have your exact symptoms or life circumstances, but in reality might have different variations of your symptoms, that doesn't mean that they aren't as ill from mercury as you. But from what you shared about the awful withdrawal side effects from those drugs, I can see where you will have difficulty using reason at times -- especially if alcohol is abused on top of it.


That list of side effects that you posted in your "Word of Warning" thread explains alot about your behavior. Aggression, delusional thinking, phobias, distorted perception were some and I think it explains alot. Especially if in addition you were under the influence of alcohol while posting.

I sincerely hope you can find some peace and most importantly, I hope that you will feel better and be able to find some healing.

save it anon.

Alcohol abuse , you read what you want into anything, I posted that as a side effect of withdrawal, didn't say that was my position and stop giving new people false impressions. You are still talking complete and utter s**t, No I wasnt under the influence, just like many more am sick and tired of you patronizing crap. Found someone new to try to influence. You are obviously far above me where thoughts or health issues are concerned, so why dont you do something useful. Go get a job and bugger off. I dont need drugs or drink to know your a complete and utter thoughtless idiot. Funny you know so much about this stuff, geting the idea it could be you Linda, hope not, cos that would just make you pretending to help people with Benzo problems and dont talk about them like your talking about someone whos gone and got them off the street, you really are some weird freak, I dont suffer from any other symptom than many other Mercury sufferers. Just sick and tired of your lies, yes your repetative lies, Jinx and I continuing to make suicide pacts. I think you must sleep a lot and dream these things up. Also I think you are really assuming that our new sufferer must be thick, they've already said they've followed the thread. Are you on any drugs? if yes get the hell off them, if no go get some. Reality check

Why do you think your problems are because of mercury Dawn ? You said you did'nt get sick until age 41. Many of us have had serious problems for decades.

Anon, yes I am the other Anon who told you some of us Anons are also sick of your crap. I think you should be very careful what your posting now, because in my opinion your not just makin assumptions, but bordering on slander. Tracy if you want advice about this, I will willingly advise you. This person is publicly making remarks about your life, that they have no proof of. This is beyond what anyone on here should be allowed to do. Deformation of a person's character without proof is serious. I will certainly inform Russ of this and as I say if you want to take it further, I'll be happy to help. I'll private post you tomorrow. Best wishes.

Yes Dawn how dare you assume you know what's wrong with you, cos you've not had problems all your life. Is this Anon got some serious mental problems or what? So all of you, who havn't been ill for most of your lives are obviously just making this all up, how do you know Anon? Have you got some secret test? Well I suggest you share it because I think you'll find a lot of people havn't had these issues for most of their lives. What the hell is wrong with you? Why pick on Dawn, is it her turn now, do you intend to trash us all one by one. Hope you've got plenty of friends not on the forum, losing them rapidly here.

By the way Linda if the message isnt from you and I find it hard to believe it could be, I apologise, but you must understand how sick I am of this stuff now. Why does this person continually feel the need to degrade others. I admit defeat, don't understand and to kind Anon thanks for your consideration.I'll give it some thought. Peace and best wishes to you Tracy x

IAs one anon to another, I agree that most of us here are suffering through no fault of our own and I have sympathy for Bex, Linda , Russ and most of the others who have had phsyical problems or depression despite having healthy lifestyles. I can't however sympathise with people who abuse sleeping pills, alcohol and other drugs and then complain about how toxic they are and how bad they feel.
Tracy and Jinx are cold hearted and selfish in thinking that they suffer more than others. Are you two in chronic severe physical pain like several of us , including me? How would you like to have constant tics and seizures like the poster who calls himself "headshakes" What would that do to your personal life or career? Do you have MS, Parkinson's or cancer?
At my college, someone jumped off a building and died and then there were several copycat suicides , until they locked the observation decks on several buildings, so don't assume people are'nt influenced to take this permanant solution to their problems.
Many psychologists believe that hysterical venting of emotions makes you feel worse , not better.

How do you know what symptoms I have. I have chronic pain, muscle spasms and many other symptoms.You really have pushed the boat too far this time.I was chronically ill for 3 months and then put on the Benzos for the sleeping problems ect. I didnt get a choice or warning or advice. Why the hell do you think Im coming off them, I dont and never have had an alcohol problem and I think I will take Anons advice an seek some legal action about slander. College, doing what, learning to be an uncaring, unsociable, feel terribly sorry for myself, cos Im the only one suffering here study. If I was cold hearted I wouldnt have spent half my life working with Autistic and difficult kids, What do you do but abuse ill people. And for your information im still waiting for my test results for a rare genetic condition. By the way a lot of people are on some prescribed pills or another. Tell you what do another poll, find out who we are, decide if we are suffering enough,like you, whether we are cold hearted or caring, then you sympathise with whoever. Dont like your chances of many sympathising with you. Funny you mention BEX?

Tracy,

I apologize if I was incorrect on the alcohol issue. I stand corrected if that is not an issue for you. I read what you posted on your "Word of Warning" thread and thought you were saying that alcohol addiction was also a problem.

This is why I thought you were saying it was an issue for you. Here is the last portion from your "WORD OF WARNING" post:

"I have been given 5 types of anti-depressants also, doctors will tell you some don't have withdrawal effects, don't believe it for one minute. All these tablets have the most bizarre effects on your body and brain. If you feel you need something, make sure your fully informed. Love Tracy xxxxx Withdrawal, vomiting, until you vomit blood. Incontinence, more insommnia, loss of appetite, I have been given 5 types of anti-depressants also, doctors will tell you some don't have withdrawal effects, don't believe it for one minute. All these tablets have the most bizarre effects on your body and brain. If you feel you need something, make sure your fully informed. Love Tracy xxxxx Withdrawal, vomiting, until you vomit blood. Incontinence, more insommnia, loss of appetite, ADDICTION TO ALCOHOL (emphasis added), anger, more depression and anxiety, contractions in intestines, convulsions, the list is endless."

I thought you were applying those side effects to you. Sorry.

And my well wishes were sincere. I do hope there is someway that your suffering can be eased.

I have just posted Russ and told him thankyou for all hes done for me but I have no option now but to leave. I am not strong enough to keep fighting insults any more. I am still grieving for the loss of my sister and will just E-mail people who I have become friends with. Its just too hard comig on here and having to try and defend yourself.I have a family to take care of and I just cant cope with it any more. I was only trying to warn people of GPs outlook on these drugs. Anyway it dosent matter any more. Its my decision and Ill stick by it. Sad I wish you no malice Tracy

Me again, I obviously didn't do a good job of pasting your last paragraph. Didn't mean to double paste those portions. For direct sourcing, just to clear up any confusion here is the post pasted in full from WORD OF WARNING:

Dear guys like some of you know, three months after becoming ill I was prescribed Larazipam for anxiety and Zopiclone for insommnia. Well initially I thought they were the answer to my prayers. 8 hours sleep and no anxiety and loads of energy. Well the evil truth is it wears off, Lorazipam is one of the evilest drugs about. I was given no information or warning and given them like smarties. They are so addictive you just end up taking more and more. They are harder to withdraw from than Heroin. The Zopiclone eventulally stops working too and the withdrawal from that is like nothing on Earth. So I am dealing with these things too at the moment. Not excusing myself but this is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I have minimal support from GP and have joined a drugs withdrawal forum. These chemicals can take years to leave your system apart form the other toxics we're dealing with. Try anything else, I know sometimes things get so bad you will try anything, but if I had been given the information at the time, no way would I have touched these drugs. I have been given 5 types of anti-depressants also, doctors will tell you some don't have withdrawal effects, don't believe it for one minute. All these tablets have the most bizarre effects on your body and brain. If you feel you need something, make sure your fully informed. Love Tracy xxxxx Withdrawal, vomiting, until you vomit blood. Incontinence, more insommnia, loss of appetite, addiction to alcohol, anger, more depression and anxiety, contractions in intestines, convulsions, the list is endless

POST #243724 - 09/14/07 06:51 AM by Tracy

Tracy, If you feel you must leave the forum, just know that you will be missed. I know that you have been going through a lot. And, I am truly sorry that this anon (or anons) are posting as they are. I'm not sure that they are not trying to play with peoples minds, as they now have people questioning regular posters. At this point, though I post anonymously for ease of time, I wouldn't blame Russ for taking away this option. It will be sad as, once again, the unkind posters will be making things harder for those of us who sincerely are battling mercury poisoning. Take care.

trace, honey, dont leave, just ignore this judgemental jackass (and you've proven it again calling tracy alcoholic based on some loose infromation), he/she IS NOT WORTH YOU. Dawn, do the same, please. it's not worth our energy, we already have minimal store of it.

also great thanks to all the other people (and anons) for support in this bloody unpleasant argument.

I never post anonymously here Tracy. And yes I think as Moderator, Russ needs to get over here and clear some things up. No one should be allowed to flame like this on a public forum. I'm disgusted.

I suggest you read the first post in this thread. It seems that every time someone puts on a post about a legitimate concern about their health, a variety of "anons" jump in with their opinions and "advice."
Any post not related to the original should be deleted, if the moderator is doing his job properly.
As I understand it, this is an open forum, but far too many "anons" are overstepping the line. In particular regarding Jinx, Dawn and Tracy. These 3 people, and more, seem to be the backbone of this forum, at the moment, and if you check their previous posts you will see that all they have tried to do is help each other, and other forum members as well.
It's about time all of you "anons" got off this forum, as every time you offer your opinions, it does nothing but stir up unpleasantness.
How come you are so knowledgeable about people you don't even know? It seems you have a set of judgements which you are so quick to apply to anyone who doesn't happen to fit in with your way of thinking.
If people decide to leave this forum, it is because of wasters like you. Who will be left? - a load of time wasting zeros who have nothing wrong with them apparently.
Suggest you all look at the name of this forum, and start sticking to the point.

Dear anon, to answer your question. When i was 14 i was hyperthyroid, had my thyroid removed when i was 30 cos drugs were not helping, this is a classic sign of mercury poisoning.
also when i was a baby, i couldnt take any vaccines, after the first one i went blue and into a coma type state.
I never socialised at shool, couldnt read or write for a long time but did pick up a few yrsl ater.
i had fillngs ll my life from age 10 approx so im pretty sure its mercury, no doc helped me. all tests show normal except for hormone tests..
p.s. as a child i had constant swollen neck glands which really hurt, no doc knew anything about it, also i had sore throats and a cold every 2 weeks just before i went on th candida diet, now they have gone.
also, i have severe chemical sensetivity, if i much as get a sniff of glue or paint, my nose bleeds, my eyes hurt and my ears hurt and i get racing heartbeat, these stay with me for days.
recently i have been painting in my home, i now use eco friendly paint but still i get the nose bleeds, and racing heart.

See Dawn all we end up doing is trying to excuse our suffering to these morons, who if were really ill like us couldn't post the way we do. You, like me should not have to explain your reasons for suffering to these nothings. Russ should have prevented this from happening. Why should we explain ourselves? To who, a bunch of hypocritacal morons who have nothing better to do than sit in judgement. We are ill, but boy are they well and truly sick.

We all know who you are Anon, obviously from a basic and total retard. No take that back it's an insult to retards. Thats not their fault you are just a malicious and self indulgent liar, we know why you fear the backlash from me and Jinx now and have to include Dawn too as you've slagged her off. She knows you too. We have checked other threads. We use to believe and feel for you no more, you are a pathetic liar who is lazy , bone idle and enjoys being the little poorly child. Get a bloody life. Get off your arse and do something worthwhile which you havn't done for years ,cos unlike some of us you've been pandered to. By the way what you think you've got would have killed you years ago. No doubt ABOUT THAT ONE!