I was baptised when I was 13 years old. I wore a white suit. Everything I wore was white, even my tie, socks and handkerchief. I was completely submerged underwater in a special pool at the church. I had no special feeling when I came up for air, no thoughts of God nor Jesus, in fact I felt a bit of a fraud because I didn’t feel special after. Only reason I did this was for my Mum. She was(and still is) great, and I so wanted her to be happy with me. Unfortunately I still didn’t really get it. My younger brothers did, but not me.

I have often wondered why I didn’t, or couldn’t believe. So many do. So many feel great comfort from this way of life, including my own mother and brothers. I believe that the Christian way of life is a good way to go about things. But why don’t I believe? I was brought up to believe. I went to church all the time with the family….but why was I left behind?

Strange eh?

So many good and great things happen to me in my life too.

When I was a kid I could not read. I was really thick as a kid. Major learning difficulties. Sat at the back of the classroom and was thick. At church I was expected to read sections of the bible out loud in front of everyone. I obviously hated that because………because I could not read. I think that’s why I hated going, because the church exposed my weakness’s.

I think it is as simple as that. Fear and weakness. Our childhood experiences shape our life. Little things turn out to have giant implications later on.

A butterfly flaps her wings………

"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third it is accepted as being self-evident."

Sunshine