And look, you actually put it in writing. Hope you are satisfied though you've achieved less than you can ever imagine. It'll hit ya someday, mark my words. Try to remember the finer points then.

Nope, it won't hit me. My grandmother was dying of cancer at 92 years old and never once mentioned "God" or "heaven" or "hell." She never fell for that bullshit and it made me respect her even more. But I suppose this cruel creator is either actively tormenting my grandmother, or simply ignoring her, because she didn't believe in him. Again with the cosmic silent treatment.

I find it really silly that the creator of the universe chose to allow you to get sick. Then he whispered in your ear to grow a herb, which you did. Then you got well. This creator sure plays a lot of games. Not very mature or dignified. But I suppose he has a "plan" that I could never understand. This plan involves all sorts of riddles and inconsistencies, like allowing free will when it comes to getting sick then intervening in indirect ways to help.

And why does this creator have such weird plans for us? It doesn't make any sense in any spiritual or moral way. But again, it's all his "plan" which we could never hope to understand.

You'll feel a lot better if you embrace reality. You'll get your soul back, a soul which is now totally tied down by superstition and inconsistent, scattered, immature beliefs. Let go of all that silliness. See the world and the universe for what they are - you'll be amazed at how much more beauty and fascination things have when you let go of childish notions like a personal deity.