Demi,you should pat yourself on the back for staying as sane as you are. Some in languishing in mental hospitals. Make sure you continually tell yourself it's the mercury. When you don't have this toxin, you cannot even be afraid, depressed or panicked, even if you try to, it doesn't happen (unless it's a genuine reason to be afraid). But you can't induce it or have fearful or odd thoughts. But with mercury? You fall into any trap and odd fears and symptoms.

I'mnot around people at all. my father is the only one around me and mostly I stay in my room because of my fears and behaviours and general debiliated condition.

waking up with panic attacks is what happens to me as well. I wake up in fear and heart pounding many times or I wake up in such a state of anguish, i'm in tears before i'm even fully awake. Just becoming conscious and not wanting to be alive and live another day with it all, but you have to.

It's a help to hear others gong through the same, but awful at the sametime.