Sorry for what you've been through, Bex. Anxiety has been a bane my whole life. It makes it hard for people to be around me, and if things aren't "just so" I have to insist on it, and this can make people get grumpy with me. I so often feel like a pain to everyone. I make people nervous because I get stressed. I find it hard to go on buses, can't go on the underground for many reasons, and have so many phobias it's tough to be around people. When I'm at home, I'm pretty much okay, but put me in another situation and I'm a wreck. I've never been able to "let go and enjoy" as some people have. I get stressed at the cinema because I worry that there will be something in the movie that will trigger a panic attack, the noise and the lights bother me, and I get stressed if there are crowds of people. I feel sick in a car on busy roads, too scared to ride a bike, very nervous the whole journey on aeroplanes, and feel trapped on boats, even though I can swim. I even find it hard going to the hairdressers because I get a panic attack if they want to wet my hair in the sink, which means I always have to get a dry cut.

I spend a lot of time by myself because I don't like to be a pain to people, and I know that I am a pain, because of my phobias. People don't understand it, and added to that, I am difficult to comprehend anyway because my lifestyle and beliefs are not the "norm". People think I am whacky.

So, I know what it's like having anxiety as the main companion in life. It's very difficult. Sometimes I even wake up with panic attacks.