I praise God fot a moderator like Russ not only for mentoring all of us but speaking the truth about God. YES!!!!!! God does exist! And just because we suffer doesn't mean God doesn't care. Perhaps God is molding us and strengthening our character for future things. The bible is Lifes Instruction Manual! I can't tell you where I was 9 years ago in my life not to mention the 35 yrs prior to that. It was awful. And yes I believed in God. But it wasn't until my good friend told me something hugely important that I was missing. Jesus is a gentleman. He will knock on your door, so to speak, but he will not come in UNLESS we invite Him in. I challenge anyone who is or is not a believer and hasn't done so already to do the following if their hearts are ready. To admit your sins to God, (we are all sinners so don't feel singled out), repent from your sins and ask Jesus to come into your heart to be your Lord and Savior! He will do just that. When I actually did this my life changed drastically, although it wasn't over night. The power of the Holy Spirit enables you to do all things through Him! Try it! It also led me to the right Dr. who diagnosed my merc poison. Yes the journey is hard at times but I believe it will help me help others too not unlike what Russ has done with his experience! He made lemonade out of his lemons. Satan however is the one who lies and decieves us and his job is to destroy and kill. (Life, marriages, you name it) . My advice to anyone with negative thoughts, rebuke the devil and ask God to put a hedge of proraction around you as you heal. My apologies for rambling but I do think its extremely relavant as God is very closely linked and in control of our healing. God bless everyone who reads this and may Gods face shine upon them! Diane