kriminal -
1)I'm 24
2)I'm a male
3) self pity? self loathing? immaturity? not even close to hitting rock-bottom?? Well let me tell you something. I was a working and I think a mature person 12 months ago. Quite succesfull and intelligent. After exposure from just two fillings drilled out, my mental functioning started RAPIDLY declining! I have no iq anymore and dont understand basic things. This state I have been in is getting worse and worse everyday, it's going fast enough for me to notice it. EACH DAY I feel more of my brain, the lights shut down/go out. And yeah perhaps I do feel like a self-centered teenager now, but that does not come from immatiruty but from what this disease does to your brain. In my wildest expactaion I never thought my functioning I would get bad so much - Never. But I have and I'm only 24 and I don't if ti's gonna be reversible at all given how much possible (surely fuctional) damage has been done. And as for relying on my parents it's not about them making decisions, it's about them giving me support which I SO MUCH NEED and money since I'm so sick I can't work anymore. So don't preach me about not knowing what hitting rock bottom is, if you dont know anything about me. Though I know you wish me well, truth is I'm getting alzheimer-like disease and I can't do anything about it.
Well I realize I am not really a motivational speaker, Im more of a fan of the tough love. Your posts sound too melodramatic, and I know brain symptoms are not a thing to take lightly, but you do have to know you don't have it that bad. With more perspective you can realize you are not even close to hitting rock bottom.
You have a family, you speak english so you are probably american or british two of the most important commodities as far as citizenship goes (people would kill to have them), you have a computer and education, you are not starving like some poor soul in a third world country trying to maintain his family.
I'm not just going to say look at the upside of life and admire the rainbows and stars, but realize you don't have it as bad as you think.
You have your crosshairs aimed at the problem, at least you know what the problem and solution can be. Knowledge can give you hope, at least you came by herballure, there are probably thousands feeling your symptoms without knowing what the hell is up with them. YOU CANNOT GIVE UP JUST YET.
With despair come foolish ideas, do not let them in, dont even start thinking about giving up or hurting yourself. Realize if you do, you are taking a knife and stabbing both your parents in the heart
I really wish you the best
