WOW, Russ really explained it well. I can relate to alot of things that you said Tracy about people not understanding and not being supportive. A friend of mine told me a few years ago when I was very down that I needed to stop trying to "fix" things by myself and let God take control.

You sound like you could use some time for yourself. Its not being selfish, it is just necessary to "refill" your cup from time to time and when you are ill it takes SO much more effort to do everything.

I know that I'm not easy to be around when things have gotten out of balance, but I also know that it isn't me-not the way I want to be-its the toxins. I often pray that I can get better so that I can be the person I need to be.

Many people talk about being glad that they had cancer or some difficulty saying that it made them a better person or that they learned from that experience(or course, they don't say that while they are in the mist of the difficulty). I used to feel bad that I did not feel "glad" that I have had to deal with hg poisoning, but I do see that trials do keep you focused on what are the important things in life.