with this illness you don't even have the luxury of spirituality. I felt very spiritual 2 days ago, I thought all about tracy and her problems with her son, the next day sthg hit me and I'm a complete zombie now and don't care about anyone. Honestly, I would exchange this illness for any other that didn't mess up as much with the mind. My sister is having gynecological problems, and there is some very loose suspicion that there might be cancer involved with her problems, and I know now how she's gonna complain about how her life sucks, yeah well maybe it does and i'm being unfair but I'd take it any time. At least you remain human and yourself throughout the battle.