Sandi, you are a treasure and a darlin.
To thine oneself be true.
Ya wouldn't be the first person to jump ship offa the Big Pharma death-raft. If ya wanna do the chemo, it should be YOUR choice, not a bullyin thing.
Looks to me like ya don't have enough of a alternative support kinda thing goin on, like a clinic that encourages ya to do what your heart desires for yourself . Is there no place that could help an encourage your healin the way y'all want to do it? I have heard of a few clinical protocols that have encouragin results, maybe not so close to you, but I'm thinkin part of whats so difficult is goin it alone under pressure to do what your heart does not desire.
It's a cryin shame cuz ya been an inspiration to all and sundry hereabouts.
I'm askin the big boss to help ya do it your way, and not be torn. That ain't good. But ya know, whatever decision ya make, we're all behind it.
Biggest love