Dear guys I really am starting to feel very afraid now. Things are getting really bad for me. Last year, I had bad nights a lot of the time but would get up with maybe some panic which would go eventually. Then for most of the day I would feel fairly ok with periods of feeling pretty unwell. Now its got to the point where I may have a couple of hours during the day that I dont feel too bad. The symptoms are so bizarre and I really feel like this thing is progressing so rapidly, that Im losing the battle. I never knew people could feel so illl. When I have a good hour later in the day, I think of all the things I want to do the next day, but find now I can rarely achieve any of them. I couldnt even begin to say how I feel cos it just seems like nothing on this earth. I really dont know what to do or if Ill ever turn this thing around. It makes me so sad. Tracy

it's not gonna be much of a comfort, but nothing suprises me with this illness anymore. you just have to keep fighting and hope for the best I guess.

Tracy I know exactly how you feel. I'm kinda losing my hope here too because all the fatigue and other symptoms are so bad now. I'm not sure if this is all amalgam/mercury related though but something is really, really wrong... Its hard to believe this is happening.

If it wasn't for this forum and you people on here that open up, I would feel like an isolated freak. Since being here and hearing so much of what others are going through, it has given me a shock. I mean seriously, Im not alone in this.

I dont get people like this around me, NOBODY. I mean where are they???? So now I know they exist, but are just not located near me and instead often hidden like I am.

Tracy, I know it is just awful. Hellish. I hope you never give up, even if this is beating you into the ground like it is so many others. Somehow, hang on.

Tracy, I'm so sorry you've been through so much difficulty these past few years. It's been a really rough ride for you and your family from the sound of it. And I was amazed to see the issues that developed between you and Dr. Hesham. Did you eventually get that resolved?

I am not an expert and obviously I can't diagnose you or tell you what to go and take as a magic bullet. Circumstances have just dictated that I've spent the last 14 months doing intensive learning about health and nutrition. I've learned a lot from the holistic health practitioner on my drug withdrawal list, watched her advise many others as well as myself. I've read a number of very good books. All this has only led to a fraction of what I'd like to know, but it's a start at least.

The number one thing it sounds like you need is general healing and repair to your body. You may be mercury poisoned, but you will not be able to chelate the way you need to if you do not strengthen up. Same goes for taking nutritional supplements. I think you desperately need these, but have been having some problems with them. Diet is going to be the way that you can start putting things right.

I've seen many others here suggest this too -- Dawn, Bex, etc. At one point you mentioned what you'd been eating -- a sandwich, porridge, cider. If you want to commit to healing then you are going to need to get very strict about this. You say you could eat whatever you liked up until about 3 years ago, and I expect that used to be the case for many of us. But then years of poor diet start catching up, and other things happen, e.g. mercury poisoning, and it becomes impossible to ignore the needs of our bodies the way we once did.

I'll try to explain briefly. Your mother told you that mental illness runs in your family. Someone here told you that what runs in your family could be sensitivity to toxins. It could also be nutritional deficiencies, and the ways they manifest themselves. When you are born, your health reflects that of your mother's. If she was deficient in nutrients, you will be too. If you ate the standard British diet as you grew up, and took no supplements, then it is almost certain you are deficient in multiple vitamins and minerals. In some people this can manifest as mental illness, or cancer, or heart disease. Sometimes it takes decades to happen, but eventually the consequences catch up.

Some people here have said that we should be wary of taking vitamin supplements, and that it should be possible to get all the nutrition we need from our food. This is a fallacy. There is evidence that the fruit and veg we eat now are significantly depleted in nutrients from those that were available just a few decades ago, due to intensive farming. Furthermore, until the beginning of agriculture, people got most of their vitamins and minerals from fruit and veg. Grains are inferior sources of these things. Yet today, the typical Western diet consists of lots of processed grains and few fruit and veg. My own husband will go a whole day without eating one serving of fruit or veg if I let him. I seem to care more about his health than he does, and he is not very healthy.

When we go back to putting the things in our bodies that we need for our health, in the right amounts, and eliminate things that the body doesn't cope with so well, then we are on our way to improved health. This goes for every illness and disease I can imagine. It takes discipline, but it can be hugely rewarding, and it can be the cure that many people are seeking but will never find because they are not willing to make the necessary changes.

Some people here are already doing this because they know it is helping them to get well, and when they make a slip they feel it. I've read a lot of comments here about that.

I would recommend that you try the Paleolithic diet. You have plenty of veg, fruit, protein, and healthy fats. Cut out grains, potatoes, legumes, dairy, sugar, and processed foods. And alcohol and caffeine. It isn't as restrictive as it sounds. I'm not doing it with the aim of losing weight, but that's what happens to me, even though I comfortably fill myself up with good food, some of it quite rich. I could never go back to eating the way I was.

I believe the candida diet is quite similar. I wouldn't take any antifungals though, while there is still mercury in your system; I believe you have been through a bad experience there.

I'll stress again, diet is the number one thing you can do to improve your health. You should start feeling better quite quickly on Paleo.

The next thing would be to find some supplements that work for you. Do you still see the natural healer you mentioned, and are you taking what they recommended? What did they recommend?

Vitamin C is crucial for immune system support. If a few kinds haven't worked for you, I'd say keep trying. Also, start with very small doses and build up.

It also sounds like you would really benefit from magnesium. Maybe your son would too, as heart problems can often be linked to a magnesium deficiency. (In some ERs, it is the protocol to administer intravenous magnesium to all heart patients.) It also can help you to sleep at night. You say you didn't get on with citrate. Oxide is useless. There are other kinds you can try though, like taurate. Or like lizbet suggested at one point, you could try epsom salt baths. I think it's really important for you to get this into your system. It's good to take calcium with it too. I'd suggest taking them in a 2:1 mag:cal ratio, as they work synergystically.

I'm sure you'd benefit from other things too, like a good spectrum of B-vitamins, the vitamin E and selenium recommended here for mercury-toxic people, and fish oil. Have you tried fish oil? Bex said at one point that she takes a combination of supplements and feels better for it. This is important, because they work together in the body. People often seem to make the mistake of thinking that taking one or two things alone will solve their problems.

Also, for quite some time you seem to have been aware of a thyroid problem. You would probably feel a lot better if you could get this sorted. You asked recently how you could get Armour. It does seem to be available here in the UK. Do you have a doctor who can prescribe it for you? I think Dawn has been through this process herself. I'm amazed that you've been diagnosed hypothyroid all this time and nothing seems to have been done about it.

It also occurs to me that you could possibly have problems with a leaky gut. This can cause the autoimmune troubles and recent food allergies you've described. I believe that's been discussed here. The solution is, again, strict diet and supplements. Are you still taking probiotics?

Some of your problems could also be due to blood sugar fluctuations. When the body becomes hypoglycemic you can start to feel depressed, tired, and anxious. Again, diet and supplements will help here.

I would leave off with chelation until your body is stronger, or you are likely to make yourself worse. This has happened with the DMSA and ALA you took. Eventually you might be able to use these but obviously not yet.

Can I ask if you are doing anything along the diet and supplemens route right now? Are you on any meds? Still taking lorazepam? Are you off the steroids?

Also, you said you'd been on 5 different antidepressants. Can I ask what kinds they were, and when you took them? This could have some bearing on how you are feeling now. At the very least, these meds will have made any existing nutritional deficiencies worse.

I hope you can find some ideas here to help you Tracy. I'm sure that dietary changes will be beneficial. If you'd like more info on the Paleolithic diet, I can give you some links.

Take care and let me know if I can be of any more help.

Linda.

I was thinking about what you said regarding the epstein-barr virus as well. Did you carry through with the treatment that the previous doc gave you? Here is something I read about a treatment given at a clinic in America, which rang a bell regarding one of the treatments you described you were receiving.

EPSTEIN-BARR VIRUS (EBV) TREATMENT:

Viruses do not respond well to treatment with drugs because viruses hide inside cells, and drugs are not able to get inside the cell to kill the virus. So people with EBV often suffer for many years with CHRONIC FATIGUE with little help from medical treatments. An enzyme treatment is now available which helps “starve out” the virus. Enzyme treatment involves using a product high is lipase, the fat digesting enzyme. Lipase allows the cell walls to open up, so the virus comes out of the cells into the blood stream. Protease, the protein-digesting enzyme, is then used to digest the virus in the blood stream. A remedy, which involves antiviral herbs and is high in the mineral Germanium to oxygenate the cell is also used to kill the virus. Many people suffering from EPSTEIN-BARR VIRUS have been helped with this treatment. Other viral conditions including MONONUCLEOSIS also respond to this treatment. Proteases enzymes help build the IMMUNE SYSTEM by digesting unwanted bacteria, viruses and toxins in the blood. People undergoing the enzyme approach to EBV can expect slow but steady progress.

I had EBV and it kept me in a bed for over a year. The thing that got rid of it for me was oral hydrogen peroxide. When I say oral hydrogen peroxide I mean a couple of drops of "food grade" hydrogen peroxide in a glass of water and you drink it. Usually you can get this stuff at a health fod store. I don't think you ever said you had EBV Tracy but I figured I'd mention that.

PS: I don't mean to downplay your enzyme treatment Veggiejuicer, but the oral hydrogen peroxide got rid of my EBV in a couple of days. I'm waaaay better than when I had EBV, I'm almost done at university. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

-Colin

That's fine Colin. I don't know anything about EPV apart from the little I've read. If you say that works for you then it's a heck of a lot cheaper and easier than what I wrote above <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Tracy did say that a lot of EPV had been detected in her system. I'm not sure whether that's still an issue for her, but it's something she might choose to continue to pursue.

Linda.

Hi everyone,i cheated recently on the diet, i ate pasta,alcohol,etc at a party, now im paying for it, i hope this feeling goes soon, im very anxious, depressed and negative, just like the old days. I have been like this for a few days now,i cant stand it. Im sure it was because of what i ate. I wont be doing that again in a hurry. Diet is the most important thing we can do for ourselves, im sure of it. I just wanted to be like the others at the party,so i indulged and its sent me crazy, i feel like i should be locked up.
Luv dawn.

I did have treatment for EBV and my neuropath dosent seem to think thats a big problem for me now. I havnt been on any anti--depressants for some time. But to be honest I'm not suffering from much depression. The only time I feel down is if I feel really ill. If I'm not feeling too bad and can do some things, I'm ok. Like today it's 6pm and I hav'nt sat down all day. I've walked the dog, done the housework. walked to and from town and done the shopping and had my daughter and grandaughter here for dinner. To be honest now I'm whacked and achey and seems a long time to bed time. A big problem is now it would be nice to relax, but I tend to get very restless in the evenings and find relaxing difficult. Night times are a huge problem still and I find it incredibly difficult to go to sleep no matter how tired I am, I am still on sleeping meds, cos without them I wouldnt sleep at all. Last night I was bone tired but still didnt get to sleep until 2am. I have always been allergic to the majority of fruits all my life and no way can take any form of vit C. I do take Magnesium and remedies supplied by my Neuropath. She tests me continually every few weeks using the Acmos method. This means she knows every thing my body is lacking at that time and always tests to see if it willl do any harm. I am having her visit me on a regular basis again as before I had my amalgams removed,she cured me 80%. Stupidly I stopped using her, had my amalgams all removed at once and plummeted. She told me if she had known what I intended she would have strongly advised against it as she says even a healthy persons body would suffer trauma from this. So I have to trust again that she will get me back where I was before. Then I even managed a part time job, which sadly had to go. She is a very caring person and the technique is awesome. Tracy

Linda I havn't read your full story anywhere, but I was wondering what convinced you that you had Mercury poisoning, where did you find out. I was just thinking that, and as I say I dont know your history, but if your symptom is mainly depression and came when your child was so young, could it not be that you have a hormone problem. Tracy

Mercury upsets the hormones,and dealing with them makes life alot easier, there is no way i could chelate without T3, which is in Armour, it was like magicwhen i took it,the depression lifted after a few weeks, although it comes back from time to time, like now,i think i methylated some mercury when i ate foods i shouldnt, also alcohol does the same thing.

One thing i have learned recently, the liver is very important to keep healthy in this illness,or any illness, taking milk thistle or something is very important, as are coffee enemas now and then,i feel great after i just had one, i know it sounds horrible but its true, also when you keep your liver healthy you are less likely to have estrogen building up in your liver, my liver is in a bad way,im concentrating on this at the moment. Also doing some bowel cleansing.

I hope you're feeling better again soon Dawn. Even people who are well, and doing versions of the Paleo diet, can feel very sick if they "cheat" with things like pasta and alcohol. You picked two of the fastest-acting sugars possible LOL, crash and burn. But that's good. It means that your body has healed so much from the diet you used to eat that it will tell you in no uncertain terms not to feed it those things anymore. I've been there too LOL. It happens.

Tracy, I'm not convinced my amalgams were the problem. At first I thought I had SAD. Then I thought my troubles stemmed from nutritional deficiencies. These can cause all sorts of problems, like the hormone imbalances you mentioned. (Post natal depression, 99% of the time, is the body's way of crying out for nutrients it was robbed of in order to grow a baby. 99% of the time the doctor's response is to give a drug.)

I actually think that the main problem comes from being at home all the time, no help with child care, no time alone with my husband to go out and do things, very little adult contact. I wanted very much to be here to raise my own daughter, but I think my mind needs to be more active. I am bored and lonely, bottom line. My little girl is wonderful, but we humans weren't meant to be shutting ourselves away from everyone else in houses all day.

I had no amalgams in my mouth, then got 4 all at once, and got depressed 2 months later. I thought I may as well pursue this as a possible problem, just to make sure I'd covered all the bases. (I've been working on finding a job for months but it's slow going, no one seems to want to advertise for a part-time English teacher.) I'm beginning to think this was maybe a stupid move that will only cause more problems, but all I can do now is deal with the consequences.

Can I ask how you found the naturopath you are working with? I can't find any around Leicester, but I'm not sure how to look apart from using the internet.

Linda.

Someone at a party reccommended her to me. I would reccommend her to anyone. You may be cynical at first about the technique, but she is always spot on and it certainly worked for me. The guy who invented it did the engineering works for Concorde. She will tell you if your house is stressed and all sorts of things and she treats any condition. She is so caring and has sometimes spent 4 hours with me and charged me for an hour shes very reasonable anyway. If you want to give it atry it wouldnt be a problem as shes from Leicester way. Just let me know. Tracy. The head office is in London but theres not many pratice it in this country, so we are very lucky. She can also do absent healing if your in a crisis and heal you from a distance . I was sceptical about this but it worked fo me.