I know it's not the same, but I have a niece, almost 8yo old now, and she's approaching this difficult period now, with all the new peer pressure coming from school that she's only been for a year now at, and I'd so like to be her guide through all this, esp since she doesn't really have a father figure, I so much want to pass sthg on, be a part of her life and maturation, make use of my presence in her life.

byt with this sh*it ? You're a complete self-occupied zombie, with no personal experience baggage cause you lost it all along with your memory , hence have nothing to give.

she often comes up to me and tells me she loves me, and it tears me apart cause I don't feel the loive towards her, though I want to, and I so want to give it to her, give the warmth, have a GENUINE interest about what she says she's done and her matters, but noope. And I dont know if I ever get the chance to do all of this.