Dawn, you may have noticed I've been reading past posts on this forum. I came across one where you said you were feeling poorly, and felt useless to your kids. I hope things are better for you nowadays. How old are your kids?

I have a daughter who is 4 1/2. I have had depression since she was 1 1/2. Almost all of her life. I feel she doesn't even really know who her mummy is. Just this person who is tired all the time, often irritable and short on patience, just no fun. Every now and then when I've had one of those brief windows of normality, I'd play and laugh with her with ease. Then usually in a day or less I'd be back to being tired and grumpy. Also I'm emotionally numb, but that could be drug damage as well as, or instead of, mercury problems.

These are years we'll never get back. It really upsets me sometimes. If I'm having an off day, which is frequent, then I'm usually not up to doing much. My daughter ends up watching way too much TV because I can't keep her entertained. It's supposed to be my job, it's why I stopped working 5 years ago when I got pregnant. Now I'm just counting the days until she's at full-time school, so I can lie on the couch and not feel guilty about it.

My hope is by that point the depression will be lifting, due to chelation and (hopefully) either a job, or a part-time course.

What you said just struck a chord. This experience has been hard on me, but it's been hard on my family too. I so much want them to be able to be with "me" again.