Hi Bex,

When my little girl isn't around I miss her. I have to get out of bed in the morning because of her. And taking care of her means I can't sit on the sofa feeling sorry for myself all day. So that's good in a way. But at the moment I feel like I am failing her and my husband both. I've got my husband to understand to a degree what is happening with me, that it isn't his fault, and he's waiting patiently. But not forever. The icing on the cake, really, has been the ongoing sexual dysfunction from the drug I was on, which did not go away even when I discontinued it. I try not to think too much about it, there are other things to be concerned about at the moment.

Like you say, there can be so many pieces to the puzzle. Mercury can be just a part. The clinical depression has an element of SAD (seasonal affective disorder) and I'd forgotten about that. The past several weeks we've hardly had any sun here, it's been cloudy with loads of rain. The floods they had 40 miles north of here were international news. The sun actually came out this morning and as I walked in it I felt substantially relieved. About half an hour ago the rain clouds came back and as I was finishing mowing the lawn a wheel popped off the mower, looks pretty irreparable. LOLOL happens.

Right, so about diet and supplements . . . it sounds like you're more or less trying to do the Paleo diet, I think the candida diet is fairly similar. And if you've got issues with sugar like me, then staying away from grains and potatoes really is important. I've had quite a lot of success eating this way in the past, but the depression deepened last winter as it always does and has stayed pretty deep since then. Part of me still thinks sugar is "the drug" to help, but if it really were, I wouldn't continually be trying to stay away from it. One of the worst immediate effects it has is depressing your immune system by making your white blood cells really sluggish.

I know you eat healthy fats; do you have enough? Sometimes we can mistake a sugar craving for something else the body needs. Maybe it's more fat, or protein. I've been told to try swigging some olive oil when I crave sugar and occasionally it has helped.

Sounds like you've got some good vitamin C there. How much do you take? Also, how much cal and mag, and what types?

I don't know much about halibut oil. How much do you have, and what quantities of DHA and EPA does it contain? A couple of good, pure fish oils I've seen recommended are Carlson's, and Eskimo-3. I'm not sure if you have these in New Zealand. I had Eskimo-3 for a while here in the UK, then started getting my parents in the US to ship me Carlson's because it's better and cheaper.

Have you ever taken a colloidal mineral supplement? That can be pretty important in a healing regime.

Actually, to sum it all up, the crux of the protocol on my other list consists of the following: a high quality multivitamin (I get my B-vits from that as well as other things), colloidal mineral supplement, fish oil, and calcium and magnesium. Most people take other things too depending on what their needs are.

I know I keep saying that our funds are low. They weren't so low until I started the diet and supplement stuff. It costs, I know it. And it hurt, it meant we've been scraping for money ever since, and it's taking ages for me to get a job. But you can't put a price on your health can you, as long as what you're looking at is within the realm of the possible. And I give some supplements to my daughter too, because I care about her health. We could of course go back to how we were, and save a lot of money, but I firmly believe we are doing the right thing and looking after ourselves.

Of course, I thought that these things alone would make me well. And for many people, they do. The Paleo diet, plus supplements, can get people diagnosed with bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, depression etc off their drugs, and keep them well. They can cure many other conditions, including cancer and MS.

As you say, though, if you have a toxicity problem, that has to be addressed. And depression can have a huge spectrum of causes. If it's due to something in your life needing to be changed, then you're probably not going to make much progress until you change it.

Do you know if there are any naturopathic doctors in your area? That is where I'd look for help. I know there's a clinic in London I could go to, run by a doctor who studied with Abram Hoffer, and they could do tests for me if need be. I hope that won't be necessary, but if it is you bet I won't be going to my GP, who gave me antidepressants and told me he didn't think amalgam fillings contained mercury anymore.

Guess this is enough for now . . . better go see if I can find the energy to juice some veg. Funny how I use that as my monicker, but I don't have much enthusiasm for it nowadays.

Linda.