LOL . . . can't win here. I was told in a not very friendly way that the world probably doesn't want to see my child. And really, I've been no one but "mummy" for four and a half years now. It would be nice to be "me" again too.

You know, it's hard to get an objective idea of what's happening with me because the original problems are still so acute. So I can't really say that my detox substances are making me worse. I had my "day off" yesterday and while the headache, metallic taste and extreme fatigue were gone, the depression, brain fog and anxiety were as bad as ever. I think they got worse when I had my amalgams out but even there I can't be too sure. Since last December when I was given a box of chocolates as a present, I've been on/off sugar like a real hardened addict, until several weeks ago when I really made myself stop so I could detox properly.

I'm aware of all the devastating effects sugar can have on health, but I'm sad to say I couldn't find any other way to cope with what the depression was doing to me. The sugar boosted some feel-good chemicals in me and made me feel not so low. Less irritable. It was a very high price to pay and I'd like to say I was strong enough to just weather it, but it gets so hard. When you have a little girl to look after, you want to be motivated to play with her, go out with her, have patience with her.

Right now I am an irritable [censored], and a zombie too. I'd have my face in a bowl of chocolate pudding or a pile of brownies if it weren't for the determination to detox properly.

Is it the mercury? Is it the depression? Hard to say. But I'm going to stick to my detox protocol for now and see how I go, I think it may work for me. I do intend to try ALA at 3-hour intervals in a few months. Right now I'm on my own with the detox, very little money to spare, couldn't afford DMSA ect if I wanted to. But I am also very, very wary of drugs and want to stay away from them wherever possible. So yes Bex, I totally get what you're saying about antibiotics. Not good to ravage your gut flora unless it's absolutely necessary.

Thanks for the chat guys, things are pretty rough right now.