Sorry for the group email, but I am not able to sit at the computer for any length of time…my abdomen is very sore. Some of this info may be repetitive for some of you, so if you just go on to your next email, you wouldn’t hurt my feelings a bit. I would really like to talk with each one of you individually but I am sick to death of talking about cancer and chemo and surgery; it seems like my life is all about treating cancer and working on having my next bm….sorry if TMI. I can sure see when the time comes to draw the final curtain, that it would be most welcomed in many situations.

June 1…..I had my surgery on May 24th…went well as surgeries go I guess. The doctors didn’t think that they would find that much cancer, it had not shrunk as much as they had anticipated from the 4 chemos. They cut out a “cake” of cancer about 4” x 6” x1” and the ovaries that were 4 times their normal size. I had/have quite a bit of burning in the abdomen, likely from the cancerous layer of cells covering the omentum…the layer of fat covering the abdomen. I will need more chemo, up to 5 more, that is the maximum they can do of this type.

I got my stitches out on the 31st and but they were still weeping and came open, had to get them retaped and hope they are closed by the planned chemo for next Thursday….if not, I will postpone it for a bit longer, or maybe indefinitely. I have to have up to 5 more chemos and after that I think I will be starting the Gerson protocol, which is well known to cure cancer as well as many other degenerative diseases.

And guess what, at the back of the Gerson book, it is highly recommended that as part of your cancer treatment/prevention plan, that you get your mercury fillings and root canals removed. I pretty much figured that they were very instrumental in wreaking havoc with our immune function….but you will never get a dentist to admit that especially if they have used them in their own practice….they could stand to lose everything if they admitted they were a problem, and they could be held liable. Can you imagine the lawsuits?

June 6….I went to the clinic today for my prechemo check and to get my stitches looked at, I will now be getting a nurse in to dress my incision every other day…it is not healing as well as it should cause the left side is higher than the right and it is not bonding properly….they must have let some trainee close it up….who knows, nothing surprises me these days with the way our government runs medicare. My new family doctor is retiring on June 29th, so now I am looking for a new one…this guy actually came to the house to take my stitches out cause I couldn’t walk. He is the last of a dying breed, how many doctors actually do house calls anymore?

Physically and emotionally I am doing pretty well considering, but ask me again next week after this next chemo. I am on a wait list for a cancellation for tomorrow, Friday or Saturday….the dreaded phone call so I can go and offer up my arm for them to inject poison into it that will make me feel sick for a week. My doctor told me to think of it this way….”The enemy of my enemy is my friend.” My chemo doctor told me to think of the chemo as a pacman that gobbles up the cancer.

The worst part of this whole deal is not being able to look after myself, I hate having to rely upon my Mom and Brian and others to do stuff for me, and I really miss driving….funny how you don’t realize or appreciate the little things until you can’t do them anymore.

But I am still rather optimistic about my future, even though they say my cancer is not curable, I believe that I have a good chance to live a few more years…I have too much to do to cash in my ticket yet.

June 15th.....Had my chemo on the 11th, starting to feel human again, the 4th and 5th days are usually the worst, so I should be over the worst of it now. I had bad nightmarish dreams last night, just like I get from a bad bout with mercury toxicity, must be from the platinum in the chemo....I don't think I can do them anymore, I feel like I am going against all my principles by allowing poison to be injected into me....and the IV nurses did a real job on me on Monday...I felt like a pin cushion when I was done.

My incision is finally starting to heal, I hope I can be up and about next week and start to have some sense of normalcy in my life again.

I am going to a local integrated clinic on Monday for an orientation...they have MD's and ND's there and they specialize in cancer treatments....please pray that they have some alternate treatments so I don't have to do any more chemo....that stuff should be banned. You would think with a the money being poured into cancer research that they would have a less toxic cure than that...I feel like if the cancer doesn't kill me, the chemo surely would. So I am pretty sure that I am done with it.... or at least hopefully my blood counts will be low enough this time to allow me some time off from that horrific poison. I am trying to think of it as medicine, but I just can't get make my body and mind to agree on that.

Best love,
Sandi
xoxoxo