Please forgive me for stepping on any toes here but im gong out on a limb because to many lives are at risk.

I have ben whereyou are, just over a year ago, I have recovered and so can both of you. Jinx, Tracy. I went to hell and back..ALONE but I made it and thank God I never gave up on Him, never gave up on me.

Who do you think you are to play God so to speak. You are not only playing with your own lives but the lives of all thoe that love and care for you. How will you answer those people when they ask you WHY? I am a victim of suicide, it ruined my family. That person was a coward and to me, they will ALWAYS be a coward. There is always another way out. Who will be there when your children graduate? What will your eldest daughter say on Evies weding day when she says I wish mom could've been here, why did she leave us? WHAT DID WE DO WRONG, that question will haunt them forever I promise you that, they will blame themselves for the rest of their lives.

I know what i am saying sounds harsh and heartless but you need to wake up and realise whats at stake here, its not just your life, and NO their lives will not be better without you.

Dont damn them to a life without you. You can get bettr and you will get better, im not sure why you dont believe in God but he was the only thing that pulled me through this, without the strength and courage only he could give I dont think I wouldve made it, perhaps its time to change your beliefs, perhaps for your children. Are you really going to abandon them, this world is a heartless difficult place as it is, you brought them into it and now you want to leave them to "survive" it on their own. How cruel. THEY need you, this world needs you. You will not find peace in death, not by suicide, that is a fallacy.

Please dont think I dont understand and I dont know what your going through, trust me, I DO. I am a survivor of this horrific ilness, I wanted to die, I prayed to die but I didnt. I survived and my god, when I see that African sunrise and touch the lives around me in some small way, when I am able to help my Gran and make her laugh till she cries, to watch my husband wave goodbye with the aeroplane as he takes off for a flight........

Dont be selfish. Dont give up, if youve given up on you, DONT give up on them