wow, there is an enormous amount of new threads, i had to go back and find this one!

ok, no i am under the care of gp/holistic practitioner who is doing everything they can to slow or stop the chelating or get it tolerable, it was this approach that i tried for the first 4 months except NCD. i would describe my mental health prior to this as exceptional, over the 6 weeks of 4 fillings being removed, ESPECIALLY after the last one (the day i began smoking from an internal mental pain beyond all of my imagination like being burned all over your body except in your mind) i have been left completely and utterly incapacitated, if i make it around the block for a walk, it is a huge day, the other day i drove 45 minutes, and it took me days to recover.

my opinion on mercury filling removal after 5 months is that if you are healthy, never EVER touch them or as a last resort have them pulled, and think of it as risky as braiin surgery.

i feel in 10 years time, the best result is i live in constant incomprehensible suffering from now until.. i don't know when, but because of some unforseen factor, i avoided something like MS, because of the need to have them out. i never thought that i'd be saying something like that. the plan was. "i'm feeling fine, life is good i'm happy, this should make me more energetic or clearer headed" instead it turned into the former statement where i begin comparing being burned and avoiding MS, as a long shot attempt at making positive something that has been (beyond words)

the fact that i had come to a point in my life of developing positive relationships all of which are gone, and had built a life after a lengthy chronic fatigue bout, to be hit by mercury removal, is incredible (no language will suffice)

the woman that now believes i'm a changed person (who we were about to have children, move into house etc etc) and rest of people who turned against me due to misunderstanding of this toxic condition have also lost more than they know. me.

i'm still the same dude, the fact that they couldn't see the (i knew one of them 8 years, one 3 months) good side of me which i always was, incredibly empathic,, was still me and think of it like i described to them as if i was on a bad drug trip and just at least be there while i'm having this hard time, or be there in a way where they will give me a chance once i'm out of it.

how people who i gave huge energy effort, love, laughter, money, support, and LOVE, all of me, could leave me at this time, when they were not so bad people ( i know this) is disasterous, hurtful, honestly in the end their loss mainly, and mine, lose/lose

it took 2 weeks of me being withdrawn and defensive and paranoid/narssisitic for everyone i knew who i held close to decide i was this new BAD person despite all the laughter tears/movies/plane flights/ staring into eyes/ talking on the phone for hours at a time/ hugs/ALL OF IT.

if it were me, someone i had these connections with, would be able to come back to me 10 years later explain what happened and i would understand.

2 weeks?! you gotta be kidding, if this is the story of half reasonable people, as i surrounded myself with mostly giving people, i would hate to see what tthe people whjo really don't care are going throug and giving out.

does anyone care or love or BELIEVE anymore? is loyalty anywhere?

anyways under this dull dead emotional state i am in now, is a expression i have said b4, over and over to parents, the only ones left,

i am seriously alone, and altered in a way that isolates me,

God and the angels help the mercury poisoned and shine light on this darkness, delivered unseen throughout the world (oh yeah the psych drugs too)