hi, i will post more on this later, but since having my fillings out, by proper protocol, my life has been destroyed, i lost everything, partner, friends, independance, i gained smoking, left only with the ability to get to the backyard for this daily ritual, and obessive flashing in my mind thinking that takes me constantly to regrets of my past, and plays them out like a hell 24 hours a day. its been 4 months i've done dmsa ncd, msm, dmps, dmsa, 30 days at health retreat, saunas charcoal, energy therapies, all of it, my hair analysis of mercury recently showed its lowest level in 18 months, so i'm HOPING its out and not in deep tissue cuz i did a lot during past months leading up to hair analysis, and i think my mind and body is in TOTAL shock, and it will take time to snap out of it. i went through a phase of cutting and burning myself, and overdosed about a month ago, i have had a tendancy to play sick as the only way to fit in with our family, but this is quite a real problem. it is a very dark time, i live with my parents and they will be going away for 6 weeks, i dunno i will do, its very scary, seriously seriously scary. i often am totally terrified for no reason, and have this aweful feeling at the back of my head,