Im sorry for this morbid post but I habe to speak to all my friends who have given me such love and support things have gone very wrong for me all my symptoms are back and I cannot go on any longer I have tried so hard but I cannot hurt my family who I love so much this thing is killing me slowly and I know I am losing my sanity I now have acrisis psychiatric team coming tomorrow and I know what will happen to me I cant gace this or hurting my children any more I have tried but this thing is taking ower my brain and I am not functioning any more I really cant say any more cos it hurts too much I love you all and I hope you know I tried thanks yo all my dearest friends who have believed in me and pray for me Tracy xxxxxx

Tracy, if you're on would you answer this? Please. You're right we do care for you on this forum.

tHANKYOU FOR CARING BUT THINGS HAVE REALLY GONE TO FAR IM AO ON THE EDGE OF BEING SECTIONED NO ONE BELIEVES ME AND I CANT COPE ANY MORE REALLY THINGS ARE SO BAD I HAVE NO FEELING FOR MYSELF ANY MORE I JUST WANT TO STOP HURTING MY FAMILY THEY HAVE HAD ENOUGH ITS NOT THAT I DONT LOVE THEM BUT I SEE THEIR PAIN AND KNOW I AM RESPONSIBLE I CANNOT BE LOCKED AWAY AND I AM CERTAINLY NOT ACTING NORMALLY I AM BEAT BUT THANKYOU FOR YOUR CONCERN X

We believe you. It's been a hard road for you. Years ago, I had a friend say something when I was hurting. She said to get down on my knees and open my out to God. Tell him everything; your worries, how you worry about your health, but more so...you worry about your family, that you need his strength and his direction to find the right treatment. Pray like you've never prayed before. Please don't get off this forum until you feel differently. I'll stay on until someone else comes on that you can talk to. Please, Tracy.

Hi Tracy, this is just so horrible to read <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> You're not alone in this, many of us have been close to being committed ourselves and through our symptoms, have seen not only our own verge on insanity, but the pain caused to our families watching this.

Hearing from people like you, Jinx, Aaron, etc and that kind of pain we know so well from this toxicity is just heartbreaking, but no stranger to myself.

I just wish something more could be done for you, more help, more looking after, because you have far too much on your plate for a toxic person to endure. Having to bring up a family, whilst dealing with the intolerable toxicities you have. More than mercury, you have other toxicities with it.

I just wish that you would get a break, I hate tothink you'll be put away or something and that they won't have a clue how to help you or sympathise with what you have. Just know that we care and believe you and whatever happens, I hope you hang in there, even if it seems impossible.

At least you have friends here Tracy!

Luv Bex!

I am so sorry for you Tracy, I feel so helpless and wish I could help you. I will say prayers for you and your recovery, put it in God's hands....maybe he can help you find the answers.

Best love,
Sandi
xoxo

I'll say some prayers for you, Tracy. You can get through this.

om mani padme hum om mani padme hum om mani padme hum
om mani padme hum om mani padme hum om mani padme hum
om mani padme hum om mani padme hum om mani padme hum
om mani padme hum om mani padme hum om mani padme hum
om mani padme hum om mani padme hum om mani padme hum
om mani padme hum om mani padme hum om mani padme hum
om mani padme hum om mani padme hum om mani padme hum

With love
Colin

Tracy,

There is always hope. Every day brings you closer to the day when you receive the help you need.

Tracy - I'm praying for you. Please know that at 10 months things get better. You are not far behind me in terms of amalgam removal and in the last weeks I have been feeling better. You WILL get better.

This week I came across a wonderful prayer which comforted me greatly.

May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.

Trust God, and you will get better.

Nicola x

Tracy, however bad you feel, staying with those you love will still be better in the long run.
Remember 8-10 months is the crucial time post removal
I know they all care for you and will always support you
Don't forget, the body has an amazing ability to detox itself

Tracy, just read you post, i know how bad you are feeling, we have been there for eachother so much in the last year, you have been my life line. Remember this i am your friend and i care so much for you, i will come and see you. Love and Hugs, Dawn.

Hold on Tracy, we all love you on this forum.
We need your support as well. You have been so good to us all.
Don't give in,we will beat it.

It is so touching to see friends supporting each other on this forum. Dawn and Tracey, keep on helping each other.Tracey, you will get better - I know you are strong enough

Tracy,

I wish there was something more I could do for you then type a few words here. I'm including you in my prayers. Keep looking ahead and don't give up searching for answers. Sometimes answers can come from the most unlikely people and situations.

Just hang on, Tracy.

SomedaySoon (Sharon)

tracy
I know exactly how you feel ,I felt that way several weeks ago ,I even had a plan on how to end it all ,BUT JUST WHEN I WAS AT MY WORST ,A SMALL RAY OF HOPE CAME DOWN TO HELP THROUGH THIS,for me the next day I started taking activated charcoal to help remove some of The toxic poison in my body and within three days I started to come back around and been doing much better since then DON'T GIVE UP,DON'T GIVE UP,DON'T GIVE UP ,MOST OF US HAVE EXPIERIENCED THIIS YOU ARE NOT ALONE

I think that I know how you feel, Tracy. My prayers are with you.

Thankyou all for your posts apart from my family well some members you are the only ones who care about me I cant even begin to describe the pain I was in last night I truly believed my time was up my chest was so painful and my spine felt like it was going to cave in I cannot think straight any more and cry constantly the mental team and doctor said I have ME and they are arranging a medic to see me all I asked for was some sleeping tablets cos the pain was so horriiific and they struck the whole family off the panel I went to see the new doc who Ive known for years and he said the same I feel Im being punished for something I didnt do they have all made me feel so worthless and like Ive done something terrible I have tried so hard but they dont see any of that they dont even treat me like a human being my mum is almost dying of CDIF and cannot sleep they gave her the disease but wont help her I think they are all evil and I wish I could believe in God but I dont see or feel anything I never knew anyone could suffer so much pain and no one will help I dread every minute of my life cos the symptoms are so bad I feel Im being punished and I dont know why I want desperately to end my life now cos I truly cant face any more I hav nt slept for 6 nights and the doc said dont worry abuout it it you dont sleep you dont I have cried all day cos someone else took my daughtet shopping and she has gone there overnight she tells me she loves me but I feel like the worse mum in the world I have prayed and to those Ive lost that mean so much to me but found no answers I know I will not go into a pyschiatric ward I have been there and seen what theyve done to people it is barbaric I know I will take my life first Thankyou to all my friends and as bad as things are I still send you all my love Tracy xxxxxxxxxxx

huuge hugs , tracy

not much more to say here

Tracy, you need to get some sleep, you can not function without sleep, that IS a punishment, you can not face anything without giving your psyche a break,no sleep can MAKE you nuts, is there nothing safe you can take to get a nights sleep? Surely someone can help you achieve this alone .If you only tackle this for now, things will be a bit easier. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture.

Tracy, maybe you should try some big dietary changes such as avoiding wheat, dairy, and sugar. Bex seems to be the expert on this forum when it comes to diet but I think that may help.

Last week I was also experiencing great pain and that's when I decided that I had to make big changes to my diet. While getting rid of mercury is important that's probably not the whole answer for us.

After a week of avoiding wheat and dairy I feel significantly better. I still feel pretty sick but at least I'm not in agony.

Check out this website: www.dogtorj.net

Thanks Aaron, though I'm no expert, I go on about it so much because it was the only thing that helped me even remotely cope and for others on here, it's helped them as well. Amalgam removal and detox, cavitation clean outs, root canal removals etc, maybe the real cure for candida, if they are what is really behind candida and the rest of our toxicity. But diet is the way to treat candida at the time or at least reduce it to a point until the underlining problem is completely dealt to.

Im certain that Tracy has tried the diet and says it's not helping. I have no idea how far she went with it, how strict she was etc. Whether she stuck with it for long enough, as it takes weeks usually to notice benefits and that is without cheating.

And I agree with Elvis, something should be done for you Tracy about the insomnia. THat is appaulling you're being left like this. It wears you down and you do need your sleep. They should be giving yu something to aid that, evne if it gets you back into some kind of improved pattern, some rest.
My Mother suffers from it and is always tired and never well. She got so desperate, she started taking a pain killer before bed (one that can make you tired) and she said it helped her sleep and the difference was quite remarkable.

There are some people for various reasons who suffer from this and it is like an illness on its own. They need to be helped/treated and not left.

Tracy, your Dr. sounds dang nuts not givin ya somethin to sleep, specially it they advocate puttin ya somewheres they will be wantin to give ya nuthin BUT drugs ( hope I'm wrong here and there could be some positive benefits to a vacation from your stresses and strains, Sharon's advice could apply to this)
I'm thinkin ya had a prollem with the knock-out drops with Dr. H , lotsa that stuff is of the valium family, I personally can't take that sh poop, but way back when anxiety was a issue, someone gave me Xanax (alprazolam) for panic attacks, I sure didn't like the underwater feelin it gave me but I found it to be one heck of a sleepin aid, and one that has a fast entrance an exit from the system, which is why so few docs prescribe it now,, they prefer people to be monged out for longer with panic disorder. In fact, it ain't a NHS prescription drug, but y'all can get it prescribed and pay for it, not expensive neither. It needs to be the higher dosage ones, I usta have the 500 microgram ones and start with a half.
I am Mr Natural about almost EVERTHING but sleep deprivation, I ain't a doctor (a course not) but this is somethin thats gotta be dealt with.Ya need a break.
Best a luck, ya got a lotta people carin for ya.

thanks this is a major problem for me while i was on sleeping pills I felt relaxed and at least managed afew hours I even pulled in a few hours in the afternoon which kept me going not only that but they gve me a nice relaxed attitute the doc dosent think I need them and so therfore I am in deep and am at the end of my tether I just rang the crisis team and said please give me some and theysaid no no body listens and nobody cares I know how I can control this for now but they wont et me I hate them all and wish they were going through it Tracy

Can ya change doctors? this sounds insane to me. My doc had no prollem with it , are they worried that ya might overdose? Could your partner intervene?

Tracy

I am sitting here wondering why you can't sleep. Are you taking a bedtime dose of Pred? Before I got on adrenal support my sleep was a bad joke. I would be awake for hours every night- from about 3am onwards - with low blood sugar and adrenaline rushes. The pred made things better, and sleeping tablets helped even more. I take 1.5mg of Pred before I go to sleep, as well as 50mcg of Florinef (another adrenal steroid - I have primary Addisons). This controls blood sugar and lets my body sleep.

Also I think when you are so toxic sleep is impossible. You are at your worst now - when did you have your amalgams removed? For me 6-9 months was the very worst, although I was sleeping by then. Now, at 10 1/2 months, I am feeling better.

Try the bedtime dose, and have you had your aldosterone checked? Increasing my Florinef dose from 100mcg to 200mcg was the magic bullet for me. But if you'd told me a few years ago that I'd be on steroids and sleeping pills I would have laughed. It's not the way I want things to be, but this is a question of maintaining some semblance of a normal life while mercury toxic and looking after three young children.

I hope this helps.
Nicola x

the crisis team came today and I begged for some sleeping tabs she said no way and spoke to me like I was th lowest life on the planet I wnded up walking out in tears and I suppose that did my record a great deal of good I have been planning my funeral all day and long for that peace Im not afraid to let go at all just want to stop this nightmare Tracy xxxxxx

Hi Tracy. I hear how hard it has been for you and my thoughts are with you. It is so hard living with this - I wish you did not have to go through all of this. At one point, I went to a therapist who specialized in working with people with chronic illnesses. Although she was not specialized in working with people with mercury, it really helped at the time. She helped me to deal with my own feelings of loss and longing for the answers to my health, but also helped me to cope with the way having a chronic illness affects relationships in the family. I don't know if you know of someone good in your area, but it really sounds like you could use someone to support you through this right now. I know how hard it is living with this - I wish I could get out of this fog too - but it would probably be good for you to have someone who might be able to help you cope while you try to get better. I heard what others are saying about where you are at in your post-removal - it sounds like this time was really hard for a lot of people. But a lot of people hit the one year point (or even before) and things turned around. This is what I hope will happen for you.

I will say a prayer for you and I know we are all thinking about you-

Andrea

Tracy,

Maybe you already addressed this but could you take an over-the-counter sleeping pill? Or perhaps you could take tryptophan. It's is really amazing.

Hope this helps.

Tracy,

How are you today?

Hi Tracey,

I was so sorry to read how bad things are for you at the moment. Please hang on in there! I know it's hard but you mustn't let this thing win!

When I was first ill I didn't sleep very much. I'd get maybe an hour if I was lucky and that was it. I really don't know how I survived with so little sleep. When we don't sleep we don't think properly so please get any thoughts of not wanting to live out of your head. I had thoughts like that but I'm too much of a coward to see it through!

I know we've had our differences on here, but I, as well as everyone else, care about you. I wish there was something I could do to help you..words are not enough and I feel frustrated that I can't help you as much as I'd like to.

As others have pointed out, take a look at your diet...the food we eat can help us a lot through many things..just a few changes here and there can make an awful lot of difference.

Also, have you tried herbal sleeping remedies such as Kalms? A nephew of mine who has been ill for years had been taking sleeping tablets but they were stopped..God knows why..because they were helping him. But he tried the herbal ones, and although they didn't seem to help at the beginning, after a while they kicked in and began to help him sleep. He also began drinking Camomile tea and that helped him not only to sleep but to keep a calm feeling during the day. It's not got the best of tastes..I've tried it myself and found it vile! But it does help.

I'm a Reiki practioner and can send Reiki distantly..but I need the person's permisson before sending it. If you allow me to send it to you I will. If you don't know what Reiki is, it's a Japanese form of healing and it works just as well distantly as it does face-to-face. I've helped many people distantly as well as face-to-face. To be honest, I don't know how it works distantly..and I was amazed when I found it did. Although I can use Reiki on myself I have found that it's better for me when it is sent from another practitioner and so a friend of mine sends it to me, and it really does work.

Take a look at the UK Reiki Federation's site:

http://www.reikifed.co.uk/pub/about/reiki/index.shtml#whatisit

It gives you a run down of what Reiki is etc.

Please let me know if I can send you distant Reiki. If you don't wish to contact me here please email me.

My thoughts and prayers are with you Tracey.

Huge hugs.

Lyn Rennick
Lyn@LynRennicksAMPSsociety.co.uk
www.LynRennicksAMPSsociety.co.uk

Lyn
I'm sure if Tracy saw your post she would be very touched. That is very kind of you to say what you said.

I am worried about her, not hearing from her like I did. I really think she is so ill with so many things wrong at once, that it's no wonder she is buckling under the strain.

I hope someone can let us know how she is, anybody that knows?